- please criticize our landing page

by Socialbakers 22 replies
We would like to try to to replace two mass services - Google Reader and iGoogle and couple of other services.

However we are still working on the backend, we prepared the whole new landing page (

Do you think it is cool? We tried to be funny, but we the question is whether it is funny :-). We plan to launch later a "serious version", this should be used for a viral marketing.

We will appreciate any kind of feedback before we promote it. Thank you!

PS: This is not a Socialbakers' project :-)
#website design #criticize #fun #landing #mywebgrid #mywebgridcom #page
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael D Forbes
    I find the "humor" far too crude to be funny, but that's just me and a lot of other people. The rest of the world may enjoy it though, I guess they will need to chime in.
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  • Originally Posted by Socialbakers View Post

    We would like to try to to replace two mass services - Google Reader and iGoogle and couple of other services.
    That's very ambitious, but highly unlikely.

    Do you think it is cool?
    Nope! Not cool at all.

    1. The use of language seems geared towards the age range of 12 to 15.
    Is that your target audience?

    2. Your not so funny marketing strategy may have some legal implications "if" it goes viral, as it becomes a tad more serious than a simple non commercial "Google sucks" blog post by some kid. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm quite certain that marketing a product by "publicly" insulting, peeing on, and slaying a competitor might result in a "not so funny" reponse from them. You might want to look into that?

    We tried to be funny, but we the question is whether it is funny :-).
    Nope! Not funny at all. It was leaning more towards "sad".

    We will appreciate any kind of feedback before we promote it. Thank you!
    Stay off the drugs and alcohol, (Especially when coming up with marketing ideas)
    oh, and stay in school.
    Arnold Stolting - Stolting Media Group
    "I LOVE The Song! The Vibe Is Positive And Firm!" - Kymani Marley. (Son of Bob Marley)
    "Keep Up The Good Work!" Tony Lindsay - Lead Vocalist, Carlos Santana.

    "Very High Quality!" Jeremy Harding - Manager / Producer. Sean Paul.
    "They Are FANTASTIC!" - Willie Crawford.

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  • Profile picture of the author carlamae
    I agree with both above comments. Always keep it professional and keep your reputation winning so people will take your business and you serious.
    All the best.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fraggler
    That landing page is terrible. Bad jokes aside, I've got absolutely no idea what you're trying to sell and the only hint is what you wrote in this thread.

    When I land on your page I should know straight away what you are selling or offering and there should be a clear flow and call to action.

    (I just noticed the small and faded "iGoogle replacement" in the header. This should be front and centre - and work off it from there. This isn't an info product selling a dream that has to rely on flowery words and manipulation, you just have to tell your audience that Mywebgrid is the superior iGoogle replacement - and why).

    Good luck - I'd start from scratch.

    Oh, no one cares about your crew, unless they are a superstar with an instantly recognisable name. More effort has gone into their profiles than the useful copy. Use that space for testimonials from some popular bloggers with a lot of reach.

    Oh, and I just saw that footer. Are you serious? ::

    Yes. All text content was created by Vietnamese. Veri cheep! Webdesign made in China. For the bullshit code are responsible Indians programmers (red skins). We like those people…not really much.
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  • Profile picture of the author WillR
    The page was far too weird for me.

    I left after bout 10 seconds of trying to figure out what the page was actually about. Others will do the same.

    If you have something worth while for people then tell them exactly what it is and how it's going to make their life easier. If people can't tell within about 3 seconds of landing on the page what it's all about, they will leave.

    You could have the greatest product in the world but if no one knows what it does, you won't have any users.

    Get rid of all the fluff. I didn't find it funny or 'viral-worthy' either. Just get back to telling people what your tool does for them.
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  • Profile picture of the author seobro
    What's with all the profanity? This is suppose to be serious. I cannot recommend this service. Yeah, it is NSFW or Not Safe For Work man. Get a clue and get rid of the gray.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Humor is very tricky to use in marketing copy. You're likely
    to get some people not finding it funny. Also if the humor
    hides your message (as in this case), then it become a handicap
    rather than a help.

    You don't have to do a lot of education on your tool since
    your competition is so well known. But a quick comparative
    chart with these competitors will go a long, long way into
    getting your message across.

    Good luck in your venture.

    -Ray Edwards
    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Let a VETERAN Copywriter and Teacher get your skills up to speed in little time.
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  • Profile picture of the author afgwarrior
    I will leave the critisizing of not so funny humor to the other folks above. Your landing page has too many exit points to get the idea out of focus from visitors mind. I had to think what exactly this guy is trying to say. Not sure if that is what your marketing message is.

    A landing page should give clear vision of what the whole stuff is about, give few strong benefits and and a simple (not so strong) call to action. If you have testimonies do include.
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  • Profile picture of the author lizbot
    My instinct as a potential user is that you need to scrap the racism and the like (shemale? Seriously?) and hire a native English speaker to rewrite your copy. I'm not adverse to humor (I like the little graveyard), but this reads as nonsensical, not clever.

    If you're going to pull the humor card, you need to impress me. Executed well (though I'm not sure if there are legal ramifications to name dropping Joffrey directly) this could be entertaining, but there's no margin for error. Left as is, nobody is going to take you seriously.

    And yeah, a swear or two in conversation is fine, but they don't belong on your website. It's too jarring.
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  • Profile picture of the author Carolynn
    I get it.
    It was cool and fun.
    Fresh, but not dark fresh.

    The graphics look more like Halloween than
    the death of iG. The top graphic looks
    like something they "G" would use on on the
    homepage at Halloween.

    Replace the shemale concept with something
    dualistic about iG. Be the bigger guy. Replace
    alot of "what some here may deem as bad taste"
    with less vocab and more expensive words. Make
    fun of their faults more, like how obsolete the
    platform has become. lol now that's funny.

    The first peekaboo box? Telling someone to
    google it, is as dumb as asking a question
    these days.

    I mean, I see the king is dead but, I don't buy it.
    I think it's the graphics, they are good. But the
    grown up kids your targeting have to already
    know you to take this seriously, that's because
    the design over shadows ,that huge header.

    sidenot my opinion means absolutely nothing
    and can change upon re-visiting the site.

    I could go on because, I'm nit picky, but alas it's a fault I have to deal with.
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  • Profile picture of the author opiel
    To make a long story short.... your landing page sucks. It really does.
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  • Profile picture of the author nmcc
    I'd be pressed to see that a target audience with money to spend are in the same group of people that will enjoy your copywriting skills. If you have a serious offering I'd seriously consider a re-write - and perhaps pull that page before it gets overly indexed!

    Want more time, more money, more sleep? See the Warrior Time Hacks bundle

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  • Profile picture of the author jeffresnich
    Honestly, there's nothing I need to say further, the above posts did a great job in giving honest opinions about your landing page
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew H
    I am going to follow this and use it as a case study for how not to launch an SAAS. Listen to what the people here are saying.

    Case in point, your footer might be considered borderline racist by most Westerners:

    2013 Ko Pi Song. Yes. All text content was created by Vietnamese. Veri cheep! Webdesign made in China. For the bullshit code are responsible Indians programmers (red skins). We like those people…not really much.
    "You shouldn't come here and set yourself up as the resident wizard of oz."
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