Need a little advice on my sales page. Please!

Thanks. Good idea about another opt-in box. Maybe a free offer would go good there. Really appreciate your thoughts.

Hey there,
Here's what you've done right:
1. Put a curiosity component into your headline
2. Delivered educational value
3. Offered Proof

Here's what I would change:
1. Your header contains a headline that sits on top of another headline. You don't need both
2. Get specific in your headline about what you are offering. You only have a few seconds to capture your audience's attention - don't be coy
3. Keyword research is a means to an end. Talk about the GOAL. i.e. Keyword research helps you find secret honeypots of targeted free traffic that will gladly dump cash in your pockets
4. The first Keyword research traffic is too vague and gets lost - you can get rid of it
5. Summarize your benefits in a bullet-list and present it above the fold (above the point where a person would need to scroll)
6. The Truth about Marking MOney Online: Get off your soapbox - people really don't care about another Guru diatribe. Take the space to increase the value of your offer. Use scarcity. Pinpoint and promise a solution to a nagging problem. Basically anything that will make your prospect say "Wow, this guy can solve my problem!"
7. Get Your Book Cover Graphic up above the fold. In fact, I would put it directly below your new headline...
8. Dude, just finish the darn book TODAY and pull out the lame "notify me when..." part.

Good luck!

Great site!
I do think not everyone will fully scroll down, but that's just me.
(Note: I'm not in the copywriting business)

Great effort for your first sales page Frank!

I agree with Moolah though, you need to sort the headlines out, 2 big headlines on top of each other don't really fit or flow.

Also break your text down into smaller chunks, for example; paragraph 2 under heading: The Truth About Making Money Online,

Use bullet points, e.g;

• Are you new to internet marketing?
• Have you bought other products that promised you thousands of dollars a week?

Then carry with text (this breaks down your copy and makes it easier on the visitors eyes and helps them flow thorugh it all the way to the bottom).

Best of luck Frank, a few tweaks here and there and you'll be fine!

This is excellent writing advice from Malcolm.

The bigger issue as I see it is... the page needs to know it's audience.

The reason most marketers don't do enough keyword research is because: it sucks! It's a tedious process in this ADD insta-gratify society. Call that out. Tell them why your system will make the thing they know they NEED to do more doable.

Also, I would re-position the "truth about making money online" section. It comes off like a lecture, but again, who are you preaching to here?

I think you'll get much more mileage out of it by making logical points that feed the desire for a better tool. If you're not a name authority on this subject yet, consider adopting a more helpful tone -- rather than another guy yelling about how everyone is doing it wrong.

You'll want to break up those scary blocks of text as well. No one will read 4-5 sentence paragraphs like that. Sad, but true.

Bottom line: Identify your best prospect. It's either newish marketers who know they need to be doing more KW and aren't because...

1. They don't know how
2. They can't sit still that long
3. They think they can get the best tools for free from Google, etc.

)That's off the top of my head, if you've done your market research you can easily add 5 more "resistance mechanisms" to that list. Those are the things you need to address on this page.

Tell them you identify their problem and you've created the solution. Then show them how well it works and how they can get their hands on it.)

Or it's more experienced marketers who would love a keyword research tool that was faster, easier, better, smarter, cured bald spots, etc.

You're not that far off. Just take a step back and positively identify your best prospects. Then you'll be able to create a page with a voice that speaks to them and gets them excited.

Best,
Kevin

1. Get rid of the giant header...It doesn't add a lick of value to the page...It's actually down right confusing.

2. get an optin box ABOVE the fold.

3. Think of your opener as your walking up to a stranger at a bar...You might ask some questions, find out if you've got any shared interests....

What you're basically doing is walking up to a random young lady and saying "the #1 reason that you won't find a man tonight is that your shoes are too tall"...

4. Some more proof would be decent...Your proof looks like you just happened to get lucky...It leaves me know that I'm supposed to buy from a dude who at ONE POINT for 2 days made money online. You might be better off not drawing attention to your proof element at all if that's all you've got to offer.

5. You might think about reframing your proof elements to show an improvement in conversion or click through...

"The first thing you need to remember is that the internet is all about search. At this very moment there are millions of searches being performed on Google, Yahoo, Bing and other search engines. By knowing exactly what people are searching for and the monetary value of those keywords, you can start making money in a matter of days or weeks. This of course is assuming you know how to really pick the right keywords, with low competition. And this is where most internet marketers fail. In fact, by not understanding proper keyword research, you may be doomed for failure before you even begin"

If you were to read that out loud to yourself you'd sound like a rambling idiot...a decent shortened version is.

Poor keyword selection = NO MONEY

gotta roll, keep on keeping on dude...It's good to see

For not being a copywriter I think you did pretty well. I think someone mentioned above that you could add another opt-in box, which is what I suggest as well.

Also, you may want to break up your paragraphs that are below "The Truth About Making Money Online" and highlight some of the more dynamic words. I think it would be much easier to read that way.

Other than that you did a great job!