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Review of Stress/Pain Site

by reviyve
14 replies
Hi-

I'm new here. Found out about the forum from Lisa angeletti from Girlshrink

I've changed my site a bazillion times and come to the realization that copywriting and web design is NOT my strong suit. Got much to say and tons to offer in product and info just not quite sure how to lay it all out sometimes.

With that, my site is www (dot) antistressandpain (dot) com (currently forwarding to www (dot) stressreliefbyrv (dot) come until I can get more link love)

Please provide your feedback but be kind. I read one review where someone said the other person's site stinks!

Thanks in advance
#review #site #stress or pain
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    And here's the easier link for people:

    Alternative Pain Relief & Stress Relief Products
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author reviyve
    Thank you. The only problem I have with that headline though is that the site isn't really an information site. Yes, there is information there but the goal is sales of relaxation and alternative pain management products.

    any other suggestions?
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    • Profile picture of the author reviyve
      Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

      Then don't use it.
      I was not shooting your suggestion down. I was merely asking if you had another one more appropriate for product promotions
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  • Profile picture of the author noahC
    I would either make your website more about alternative pain relief or not at all. I assume that's a keyword you're targeting. You need it to be more pseudo-sciencey and more about some newly discovered chemical in the Amazon....Right now it looks scamy like you don't even believe in your product.
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    • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
      Hi,
      First of all, this is the sort of thing I LOVE writing for! What I get from your site first off is that you're selling something. That's not what you need the initial impression to be.

      You need to get your visitors to see you as someone who is the Expert Who Understands. Get their trust!

      Then you present your products as The Answers.

      My personal way of doing this is through vivid scenarios/word pictures techniques. You know, kind of like 'Jane could hardly think, her head ached so badly. Just because she was a few minutes late (okay, maybe half-an-hour) did not give her boss the right to talk to her like that! Now she could scarcely move without her head pounding.'

      Most readers can identify generally with this kind of tale. Then add how 'Jane' took something other than your product - no results.

      Do you see how I'm setting up your products as The Answer?

      Right now your site is selling too much, too soon. Why should your visitors trust what you're promoting instead of one of the thousands of other sites that sell stuff much like yours?

      Hope this helps,
      Dot
      Signature

      "Sell the Magic of A Dream"
      www.DP-Copywriting-Service.com

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      • Profile picture of the author bstar
        Great advice!

        Originally Posted by dorothydot View Post

        Hi,
        First of all, this is the sort of thing I LOVE writing for! What I get from your site first off is that you're selling something. That's not what you need the initial impression to be.

        You need to get your visitors to see you as someone who is the Expert Who Understands. Get their trust!

        Then you present your products as The Answers.

        My personal way of doing this is through vivid scenarios/word pictures techniques. You know, kind of like 'Jane could hardly think, her head ached so badly. Just because she was a few minutes late (okay, maybe half-an-hour) did not give her boss the right to talk to her like that! Now she could scarcely move without her head pounding.'

        Most readers can identify generally with this kind of tale. Then add how 'Jane' took something other than your product - no results.

        Do you see how I'm setting up your products as The Answer?

        Right now your site is selling too much, too soon. Why should your visitors trust what you're promoting instead of one of the thousands of other sites that sell stuff much like yours?

        Hope this helps,
        Dot
        Signature

        We like it here

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    • Profile picture of the author reviyve
      I'm actually targeting both alternative pain relief and stress relief products. The site does come up on Google first page for both but not at the top. I'm working on that but thing I need to focus a little less on the SEO and mroe on the customer. don't you agree?

      I have not been doing this very long and its all so new to me.

      Originally Posted by noahC View Post

      I would either make your website more about alternative pain relief or not at all. I assume that's a keyword you're targeting. You need it to be more pseudo-sciencey and more about some newly discovered chemical in the Amazon....Right now it looks scamy like you don't even believe in your product.
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      • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
        Hi Michelle,

        "Dot- Would like to talk to you further off here if you don't mind. How can I reach you?"

        I sent you an email from your website. Since you are rather new to Warriors, I'm not at all sure you can receive/send private messages quite yet.

        BTW, welcome to Warrior Forum!

        Dot
        Signature

        "Sell the Magic of A Dream"
        www.DP-Copywriting-Service.com

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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Essentially, what you have here is a catalog page and it's boring. Not only that, the little copy that you do have is awkward. For example,

    "Do You Want To Ease Your Stress and Pain Naturally, Without Breaking Your Budget?"

    Under that you have:

    "Then stop paying hundreds of dollars on harmful medications and repeat doctors visits to relieve stress and pain that you can address at home. Here you'll find safe, natural pain & stress relief..."

    First, the line in bold type is lost with the one above it on your page. This needs to be the main point and in a larger font. Then, the answer, "stop paying on..." The word on should be "for." But these are relatively minor issues compared to the overall page.

    If I were you I'd set this whole thing up differently. I'd create a landing page with valuable information on alternative and holistic healing methods and products. I'd make it very content-rich and include quotes from several legitimate gurus in the field. I'd also use related graphics.

    As you discuss various alternative healing methods you can include text links to individual products within the page copy. The links would obviously point to your products. One page, one product. I'd also include text links along with thumbnails of the product in a sidebar on the main page.

    When the person lands on the product page they'd be reading a much longer write-up than a simple catalog description. It would be engaging with testimonials if you have them and clips from manufacturer's press releases and other social and media proof.

    I sold stuff on eBay for a while and my product descriptions were almost always far more descriptive than my competitors. I often got email from my buyers telling me they bought my stuff because it was so well written up. The same principle applies here. Personalize the products by taking the time to get inside your customers head and figure out where they are and what they want. Then create your descriptions around those needs and make them benefit-oriented.

    If you create your site that way you'll also be making it SEO friendly and engaging your customers on a much higher level. Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author reviyve
      I meant to ask you. I kind of understand what you are saying but do you have another website I could view for reference? Not in the same field of course. Just another site to refer to their layout based on your advice.

      Thanks,
      Michelle

      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      Essentially, what you have here is a catalog page and it's boring. Not only that, the little copy that you do have is awkward. For example,

      "Do You Want To Ease Your Stress and Pain Naturally, Without Breaking Your Budget?"

      Under that you have:

      "Then stop paying hundreds of dollars on harmful medications and repeat doctors visits to relieve stress and pain that you can address at home. Here you'll find safe, natural pain & stress relief..."

      First, the line in bold type is lost with the one above it on your page. This needs to be the main point and in a larger font. Then, the answer, "stop paying on..." The word on should be "for." But these are relatively minor issues compared to the overall page.

      If I were you I'd set this whole thing up differently. I'd create a landing page with valuable information on alternative and holistic healing methods and products. I'd make it very content-rich and include quotes from several legitimate gurus in the field. I'd also use related graphics.

      As you discuss various alternative healing methods you can include text links to individual products within the page copy. The links would obviously point to your products. One page, one product. I'd also include text links along with thumbnails of the product in a sidebar on the main page.

      When the person lands on the product page they'd be reading a much longer write-up than a simple catalog description. It would be engaging with testimonials if you have them and clips from manufacturer's press releases and other social and media proof.

      I sold stuff on eBay for a while and my product descriptions were almost always far more descriptive than my competitors. I often got email from my buyers telling me they bought my stuff because it was so well written up. The same principle applies here. Personalize the products by taking the time to get inside your customers head and figure out where they are and what they want. Then create your descriptions around those needs and make them benefit-oriented.

      If you create your site that way you'll also be making it SEO friendly and engaging your customers on a much higher level. Good luck.
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      • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
        Originally Posted by reviyve View Post

        I meant to ask you. I kind of understand what you are saying but do you have another website I could view for reference? Not in the same field of course. Just another site to refer to their layout based on your advice.

        Thanks,
        Michelle
        The link below is what I'm talking about. It's one of my sites with a simple story-style landing page promoting an affiliate program. I don't have any thumbnails pics because there's no need for that with this type of product.

        You could easily have a table on the side of your page with links and small pics of the product where people could have the option to click within the text or on the sidebar.

        The point is to create a page that is sales-oriented containing valuable content where you mention various products you're promoting. Good luck.

        Free Promo Story
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  • Profile picture of the author reviyve
    Thank you all for your advice. I have to print this out because some of it I don't quite get. For example, saying it looks scammy, I don't quite see how. I actually DO use a lot of my own products and one thing I get from some customers is they do read my story on my about me page.

    Dot- Would like to talk to you further off here if you don't mind. How can I reach you?
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