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My first salescopy-Is it too short for a $19.97 product?

by theshkay89
5 replies
hey there guys.i just wrote my first salescopy for my upcoming product at Secret PPC Dossier...
..going to price it at $19.97.

as its my first copy would be helpful if you guys can give me some pointers.
oh..as a gesture of good faith i will send you my manual free for those who give me their valuable input.looking forward to hearing from you guys..thanx..
#$1997 #product #salescopyis #short
  • Profile picture of the author RedPhoenix
    Hi there,

    You don't seem to have a headline - "The Secret PPC Dossier" is the name of your product. A headline should emphasize the main benefit to be derived from having your product. Place your headline before the opening.

    "Announcing a critical upgrade to your pay-per-click campaigns...

    For the first time you can get your hands on a secret pay per click system that the "Gurus" have been hiding all
    along, a system that targets ONLY the frequent and frenzied buyer (with credit card in hand), and one that gets you much
    faster results than you ever got with Google Adwords alone...Introducing... "

    Here is a summary of the sales page formula use it as a checklist to improve on what you have already done.

    1) Headline - the most read part of any sales letter - 90% of the success or failure of your sales letter depends on it.
    2) Subheadlines - expand headline(main benefit of product)
    3) Body Benefit(s) - bullet points useful
    4) Reason(s) (to buy)
    5) Free bonuses - adds value
    6) Guarantee - demonstrates confidence in the product & makes it risk free by offering money back if not satisfied
    7) Summary - (press those emotive buttons one more time)
    8) Offer/Price
    9) Your Name & Photo. Plus postscripts (the second most read part of a sales letter.)

    In the style of PPP - personal, passionate & pointed (clarity)
    Layout should be simple & well spaced with paragraphs about 3 - 5 lines.

    What you have is a good foundation sales copy which with a few improvements and a little re-organization should be pretty damn good. The length of the copy should depend on what it is you are selling and the style of copy that you use.

    Take care & good fortune.
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    "Excellence is not an event it's a habit" - Aristotle 384 BC
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  • Profile picture of the author JimtheWriter
    (Edit: wrote this post before I saw the one above...Might be repetitive...Sorry)

    I just had a quick look at your page...

    In regards to the length, I don't believe there is a "standard" length that a sales letter should be for a specifically priced product. For example, a sales letter for a $50 product shouldn't have to be twice as long as a sales letter for a $25 product...It all comes down to writing a letter that effectively convinces your prospect that they should by the product. It should answer a lot of the questions they might have, be persuasive, but not ramble on and loose their attention.

    In regards to your actual sales letter...

    I don't know if it is just on Safari, but the formatting seems to have an awful lot of white space. White space is good, but your letter has a little to much for my liking.

    But the first thing I would really work on is your headline. From "Announcing a critical upgrade"... down to "change your pay per click efforts, literally overnight" should be rewritten, in my opinion.

    I can't say this often enough, but maybe you should go have a look at some of the more successful sales pages out there. They are all different, but most follow a similar structure which is proven successful. Also, have a look at the way the headlines and beginnings of those sales letters are written, then look back at yours. The good letters grab your attention and force you to read more. Yours, not really...

    You have a good start, but your letter just needs some work!

    Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
      Yeah, too much white space, not enough content "above the fold" -
      the part of the page viewers see when they land.

      You also assume a lot - that the reader is comfortable enough
      with adwords that "PPC" is part of his normal vocabulary. That's
      okay... but I would cast a broader net at first -

      "this is a breakthrough
      online advertising SECRET the BIG SHOTS have been hiding - and
      you are spilling the beans to help the little guys get a slice
      of the pie. "

      "With this secret little guys without much money to get started
      with Google's Advertising Network will have a fighting chance
      because I are gonna show YOU:
      -How to...
      -How You Can Easily..."

      etc.

      There's a lot to doing this right. You need to show the reader
      he's been missing-out on an advantage, get him to grasp
      what the advantage IS, and then get him to buy the information.

      You probably feel you have done that buy I don't really
      because you've assumed so much about what the reader
      knows about PPC - when his core internal monologue isn't
      about PPC at all, it's more like "I'm so frustrated I can't make
      money with this damn internet. I'm ready to quit right now
      but I'm desperate to have this work out. I just want one
      advantage that's easy for a dumb guy like me to understand
      so I can just make $2k a month. That's all I want. I'm willing
      to spend money to make money but I need something quick
      and cheap to implement right now. If I don't find it fast and
      start making money I'm in real trouble..."

      You see? He doesn't care about the JARGON - he cares only
      about having an advantage so HE will make money. Show
      him the advantage and SELL HIM on the PREMISE that your
      method is his best chance to succeed... and it's only a little
      money to get started etc...

      Robert Collier stuff, Victor Schwab stuff. Get the books
      by those guys.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kyle Tully
        Lots of BIG claims and NO proof.
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        • Profile picture of the author maximus242
          The readability sucks on this, I didnt even read it. I like the graphics. The salesletter sucks because its not even getting read. You need a real headline and sub-heads. Its not about how long the salesletter is about how badly it makes the prospect want the product!
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