Anyone up for critiquing a video sales letter?

Wow! That's a massive critique! I def appreciate that.

That's very interesting because it's really fast for me, even on my workplaces ultra crappy internet connection. I'll look into this. It's hard to make these kinds of sales videos load quickly without losing massive amounts of quality. I host on amazon s3, btw.

The total data rate is 414kbps, and will steam over a 512kbps, DSL/Cable connection.

I actually wasn't aware that AOL even had a browser anymore! I haven't tested it yet on chrome, but I'd be amazed if it didn't work on chrome.

Yes, almost every sales video I've ever seen said that, and then the video ends up being 20-30 minutes long. I didn't realize it was an issue. I just thought everyone says it's going to be a "short" video to get people to relax a bit, and then suck them in...next thing they know, they've watched a half hour long sales video.

I thought about that actually, I just couldn't figure out an angle to use because it just didn't "make sense" to lead with that without laying the foundation. So I went with Bencivenga's "Picture this..."

Yeah, I just used what Haddad and Benson use at the top of their vids.

You've never heard that? Los Angeles residents are often referred to as "Angelinos." Maybe that hasn't made it out to Wisconsin. :p

But that's actually a good point. Not everyone knows the term.

Only added the FREE thing 'cuz I see other copywriters do it in the headline.

I have to correct you on that actually. You would assume that people know how important sleep is...but that isn't actually true. I've got a background in this industry, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that people do NOT know how important sleep is. They "think" they know, but they really don't. Because they don't know, they actually don't place a high value on sleep. Even a lot of doctors don't know, which I mention in the copy.

In fact, this entire point is literally the purpose of the sales video. It's the main reason why I made it in the first place. However I *do* agree with you that it isn't a big "wow factor" within the context of the headline. I had a hard time with the headline.

Well, believe it or not, people on the market for a mattress do actually want to know what they should look for, etc. I know it's not exciting, but it's really hard to make this topic exciting, and I also agree that it isn't an exciting component of the headline.

I tried to go with Bencivenga's "educational" and "informative" approach to copywriting, then lead them to the natural conclusion.

If you click the video it pauses, just like 99% of every other video sales letter. I realize this is something that irritates a lot of warriors, but evidently it does increase conversions for many people.

I did consider that. But that would be opening with the solution, and people on the market aren't necessarily looking for a tempurpedic right away. In addition, tempurpedic is very polarizing. Tempurpedic is the solution in my case, and I didn't want to lead with that without laying the foundation.

Video sales letters give you the opportunity to lay the foundation in a way that literally not possible in "real life." I didn't want to alienate viewers who would be predisposed to click away as soon as they see Tempurpedic (because they are quite expensive.)

I'm basically "fishing" for folks who are interested in tempurpedic and who have the disposable income for it.

Again, yeah I did think about opening with that video. I'm still not 100% sold on the idea yet. Could be worth split testing, I agree.

Any suggestions for how to split test within wordpress and without using PPC?

Easy Video Player

EasyVideoPlayer »

Hey i'm answering solely as a consumer as i'm no copywriter.

I watched the video through and if I were looking for a mattress I would be interested in your offer.

However I feel that if i were shopping i would have probably clicked out before the video finished and ill tell you why.
The section where you discuss why sleep is so important goes on for too long, the video was fine in some bits, but then it became too much, but once it passed and you got on to the mattress I was interested in what you had to say about tempur ( i think thats right) mattresses. In my opinion the video is decent but needs to be condensed inorder to keep peoples attention.

Hope this helps!

Wait, because there is no "header" stretching across the top of the page? Is that what you mean?

Thanks for the thought provoking critique.

Scientific findings and copy don't work very well, do they? I'm going to redo this and take out probably 98% of the science/statistics stuff.

Thanks for the suggestions, Ross.