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Opportunity: $25,000 plus royalties!

by colmodwyer
43 replies
--> AWAI Copywriter Challenge | NewMarket Health

I actually write for this company, but didn't know about the challenge until Mike Humphreys bought it to my attention. So thanks go to him.

Biggest company in the Agora, Inc health division. Other copywriters who have written for NewMarket Health are Arthur Johnson, Jim Rutz, Lee Euler and Kent Komae.

So, although there's a high chance you won't get paid squat for your work or even see it tested, reward potential could be massive if you're hungry and talented!

Cheers,
Colm
#$25 #opportunity #royalties
  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    I said thanks go to Mike! Each one of you is on my naughty list now... especially you Mike.

    We received this submission yesterday:

    - - - - - - - -

    From:
    [NAME DELETED]
    RE: A headline and lead to recruit happy customers for a contest. Customers will provide in-depth, product specific testimonials about how they overcame health "complexes" common in today's health market. Winning stories will receive lifetime rewards packages to further their health goal achievements.

    We'll take that as a big "YES!"

    We've loved listening to friends tell us about innovative uses of our products solving complex issues and living better, healthier lives. We've been so moved, we're inspired to offer YOU the chance to share your wisdom. How did you put <Brand Here> products to work FOR you! Win a lifetime rewards package from <Brand Here>for telling the best story.

    - - - - - - - -

    If you're interested in this challenge, there's now a good chance your submission won't be the absolute worst.

    Colm
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  • Profile picture of the author markpocock
    errr.... Colm

    80% of writing a sales letter is research.
    Gary Bencivenga says get 7 times more research than the length
    of the letter you're writing.

    So if you're writing a 10 page letter get 70 pages of research.

    So any sane copywriter is going to need a big pile of research
    to write for this project.
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    And have the secrets A-List Copywriters - David Garfinkel & Parris Lampropoulos
    use in their multimillion dollar promotions
    www.markpocock.com

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    • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
      Originally Posted by markpocock View Post

      errr.... Colm

      80% of writing a sales letter is research.
      Gary Bencivenga says get 7 times more research than the length
      of the letter you're writing.

      So if you're writing a 10 page letter get 70 pages of research.

      So any sane copywriter is going to need a big pile of research
      to write for this project.
      Err... Mark, you're right. But I don't get your point relative to what I've posted?

      Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
      Originally Posted by markpocock View Post

      errr.... Colm

      80% of writing a sales letter is research.
      Gary Bencivenga says get 7 times more research than the length
      of the letter you're writing.

      So if you're writing a 10 page letter get 70 pages of research.

      So any sane copywriter is going to need a big pile of research
      to write for this project.
      That's kind of what I was thinking. They certainly don't give you much to work with. Nobody gets ideas out of thin air. You have to have some raw materials to work with.
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      • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
        Originally Posted by JasonParker View Post

        That's kind of what I was thinking. They certainly don't give you much to work with. Nobody gets ideas out of thin air. You have to have some raw materials to work with.
        They do provide links to their current controls and a few back issues for each newsletter on the info page. I would assume/hope they'd offer a bit more if you're chosen to write a full package, but I think part of the point is to place all the stress on the copywriter. You either invest your time and effort or don't get the opportunity... works for some, not so much for others. It'll be tough to actually beat one of the (very strong) packages they already have, but even if your copy is chosen to run and does decently (same pull rate or a bit less) that would be a huge credibility booster.
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      • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
        Originally Posted by JasonParker View Post

        That's kind of what I was thinking. They certainly don't give you much to work with. Nobody gets ideas out of thin air. You have to have some raw materials to work with.
        Okay, I get what you guys mean now.

        If you've had any copy jobs before you should be used to probing clients for more stuff. Just ask...

        Colm
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        • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
          Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

          Okay, I get what you guys mean now.

          If you've had any copy jobs before you should be used to probing clients for more stuff. Just ask...

          Colm
          Cool.

          Nope, I've never had a copy job.

          I have no experience writing Health either.

          I just thought this was an interesting contest.

          I don't plan on ever getting a job.
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  • Profile picture of the author RecoveringTeacher
    Hi Colm,
    I saw the challenge posted on AWAI's Facebook page a few days ago and I hope you don't mind if I ask a question. What is an "acquistion package"? Is the goal to get new clients/subscribers? I have about 200 pages left of the Six-Figure Copywriting course, and I haven't seen that term used at all.

    Tracy
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  • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
    Thanks for sharing... great opportunity to get in front of the big guns even though there will be loads of competition. It certainly stresses the point that a lot rides on the headline!
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    You got it Tracy.

    The goal of the acquisition or front-end package is to add new buyers to your list. Then you'd typically sell more expensive stuff on the back-end.

    Because acquisition is so important and so hard, it's the realm of top gun copywriters.

    Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author RecoveringTeacher
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      You got it Tracy.

      The goal of the acquisition or front-end package is to add new buyers to your list. Then you'd typically sell more expensive stuff on the back-end.

      Because acquisition is so important and so hard, it's the realm of top gun copywriters.

      Colm
      That's helpful, Colm. Thanks. They do give a lot of time- I think July 31 is the deadline. It's a great practice opportunity regardless of outcome.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
    I have a few questions if you (Colm) have a minute - is this only open to AWAI members? The info page linked doesn't make it seem that's the case, but I was looking up more details online and another site appeared to say otherwise.

    Also, are we allowed multiple submissions? Thanks in advance!
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    Laura,

    As far as I know it's open to anyone, and asked before posting this.

    I can't see why you wouldn't be allowed send multiple submissions. I would. Multiplies your chance at success.

    Colm
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  • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
    Great! That was my hope - appreciate the quick answers.
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Here's a great example of what AWAI is looking for. A lead acquisition package. It's from Weiss Research:

    You Call It Junk Mail, I Call It Gold (For Your Clayton Makepeace Swipe File)

    Clayton probably had his hand in it. I see his fingerprints.

    - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    American Apocalypse was written after End of America... obviously modeled on the latter. I think it did 100,000 names or something like that. Good example of effectively "knocking off" what's working in the market.

    When EoA hit every financial publisher tried to write their own version of course, but Apocalypse was one of the better ones.

    I wrote a "Retirement Holocaust" package that bombed!

    Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      American Apocalypse was written after End of America... obviously modeled on the latter. I think it did 100,000 names or something like that. Good example of effectively "knocking off" what's working in the market.

      When EoA hit every financial publisher tried to write their own version of course, but Apocalypse was one of the better ones.

      I wrote a "Retirement Holocaust" package that bombed!

      Colm
      Is that right? Wow! I didn't know. Thanks.

      I know I've seen similar in the market. For the past week or so, I've been trying to figure out what its "secret sauce" is.

      And this morning, I was noodling it again and I think I figured it out.

      Plain and simple, it's TIMELY.

      Most copywriters know one "hook" strategy is structuring a piece as news. Nothing new there.

      I think what makes this piece work is it's the stories are CURRENT. It's not just an educational piece.

      The facts and figures match up. They tie right into what I see unfolding daily on Fox News. It's almost as if Bill O'Reilly could have written the piece yesterday.

      In other words, it doesn't look/feel dated. Like I'm reading an old newspaper.

      So the upshot is the more recent, verifiable (like the news already matches what they know, not that you can verify the information if you want) and relevant the news is to the reader, the better.

      - Rick Duris

      PS: I also have another piece I'm noodling.

      It's from Bob Flaherty's newsletter. The headline is "Cloud Tech Revolution!" Similar strategy except they infuse it with an educational piece call "6 Secrets to Windfall profits in Volatile Markets".

      If anyone wants that, just let me know.
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      • Profile picture of the author Steve Hill
        Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

        I think what makes this piece work is it's the stories are CURRENT. It's not just an educational piece.

        The facts and figures match up. They tie right into what I see unfolding daily on Fox News. It's almost as if Bill O'Reilly could have written the piece yesterday.
        The Weiss "American Apocalypse" piece is not only timely and verifiable, but it also has a strong sense of current events urgency that appeals directly to the target demographic.

        IMO, that urgency for a demographic that has retirement on the near horizon is what gives it strong appeal.

        Globally, Europe has financial issues, banks are failing, bank runs are happening, global printing presses are issuing more debt than ever before, rampant inflation is probable, and there is potential for a global recession.

        Locally, governments have stopped paying their bills and retirement benefits, police and firemen are being laid off, and cities as big as Stockton are declaring bankruptcy.

        Understaffed police have stopped responding to many crimes, gun sales are increasing, and civil unrest seems possible. Brokerage houses are telling their public customers all is well, while privately releasing reports telling institutional investors to prepare for the worst.

        All this information has been on the news recently, and is addressed in the recent Weiss marketing.

        The target demographic is going to be really concerned if their retirement funds are in a D-grade bank at risk of failure, if inflation makes their retirement funds nearly worthless, if interest rates jump, or if the stock market takes another major nosedive when they haven't fully recovered from the last one. They want to know what they can do to protect themselves.

        Add in a track record of accurately predicting these types of major events, and it's not hard to see why the Weiss reports would pull more attention than, say, a report about investing in a cloud-based property owner's widget company that might be bought out someday.

        Appealing to that sense of urgency, fear, self-preservation, and capital preservation in the context of current very uncertain global events certainly makes for a potent marketing combination.

        It probably wouldn't work for the AWAI challenge, but it certainly works for some lead acquisition approaches.
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      • Profile picture of the author Raydal
        Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

        I know I've seen similar in the market. For the past week or so, I've been trying to figure out what its "secret sauce" is.

        And this morning, I was noodling it again and I think I figured it out.

        Plain and simple, it's TIMELY.

        Most copywriters know one "hook" strategy is structuring a piece as news. Nothing new there.

        I think what makes this piece work is it's the stories are CURRENT. It's not just an educational piece.
        I agree you with here Rick. What many copywriters miss
        when they are looking at swipe-files and headlines that
        worked in the past is historical factor. What got attention
        10 years ago may not get attention today. And if you
        can piggy-back on clear and present trends, then you
        have a possible winner.

        It cannot be quick passing trend but some atmosphere
        that lingers for a little while--much like how people were
        so afraid after 9/11 or stock market crash etc.

        Some headline styles are timeless, but others surely
        have short life span.

        I think it was Clayton who wrote about his package
        that bombed big time because the major news topic
        changed by the time the mailing went out. That's
        one huge advantage email marketing has over
        traditional mail--you can choose to be always
        current.

        -Ray Edwards
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      • Profile picture of the author Len Bailey
        Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

        PS: I also have another piece I'm noodling.

        It's from Bob Flaherty's newsletter. The headline is "Cloud Tech Revolution!" Similar strategy except they infuse it with an educational piece call "6 Secrets to Windfall profits in Volatile Markets".

        If anyone wants that, just let me know.
        Hey, Rick... do you still have a copy of this?

        Thanks,
        Len
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        Len Bailey
        Copywriter/Consultant
        Feel free to connect on LinkedIn or Twitter

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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    Well the AWAI/NewMarket challenge is for health, so it wouldn't work at all. I think Rick was just posting it as a good example of an acquisition package.

    Apocalypse was written at least year and a half ago I think. Six months or so after EoA...

    There was an EoA type package by Stansberry that didn't work 4 or 5 years back too, so timing is definitely a big part of it.

    My buddy in financial wanted to write a "Obamacare" package a few months ago which would probably be crushing right now, but unfortunately he didn't have support/approval from the "copy committee."

    Actually, an "Obamacare" package for health would be interesting too. Most health lists are conservative/libertarian.

    Speaking of health acquisition, this sucker has been running for a LONG time:

    http://www.newmarkethealth.com/sampl...ough_Tab-r.pdf

    Pretty evergreen/always timely, by Arthur Johnson.

    This isn't on the challenge page, but another one for the swipe file:

    The 7 Most Dangerous Lies Your Doctor is Telling You

    Jim Rutz.

    Colm
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Thanks, Ray. I've been giving this a lot of thought. Jim Yaghi wrote about this aspect tangentially in a recent email. The email was so relevant to this thread, I'm sharing...

    ----
    Subject: Why SWIPED Copy Fails

    Haha this is hilarious!

    Was doing, some err..."TV show swiping" online, when I saw two
    landing page pop-unders for two different BIG Gooroo clients of
    ours.

    Normally, I just shut those annoying windows before they even load,
    because they're noisy and irritating. But since they belonged to my
    clients, I gave them a second look.

    The first, was an autoplaying video which brought me to tears.

    The second had a REALLY familiar headline pattern.

    Turns out, the headline itself was a near-exact swipe of one I
    developed for my Email Expert friend Ben Settle.

    Now, Ben is an incredible copywriter; one of the best and
    highest-paid in the industry. He wrote the sales letter for my PPC
    Domination course, which set an industry sales record in its launch
    week.

    But I'm the God of Traffic and landing pages are MY area of
    expertise.

    Several months ago, I shared with him a landing page technique that
    I discovered works EXTREMELY well on cold-traffic.

    Since he was launching his Email Players newsletter at the time, he
    asked my help to brainstorm a headline that uses my technique.

    We called it Time Continuum Landing Pages...

    Because of the way it works.

    Essentially, the theory I based it on is to do with linguistic
    tense. My MSc and PhD topics were both on computational linguistics
    - knowledge from which I borrow heavily.

    The theory:

    Things that occurred in the past are EXPIRED and no longer valid.
    (i.e., false). And things that are to happen in the future, e.g.,
    conditional statements, "you're about to"-type statements, are
    unproven and hard to believe (also false).

    But things that are in the present, are currently happening and
    cannot be disputed (i.e., true!).

    There's a lot more to it - and even Ben had difficulty doing it
    alone...but that is the gist of it.

    So the landing page copy we came up with was:

    "Simple Email Tips Putting Money In Bank Accounts RIGHT NOW...

    "Top email specialist is divulging 24 proven ways to get people
    reading and buying EVERY TIME you send them email...Use the form
    below to open it now..."

    Although Ben and I both agree that split-testing is a waste of
    time, Ben tested this headline for MONTHS against everything he
    could think of, and it ALWAYS out-pulled his new headlines.

    ONLY for cold-traffic though. We had differing theories as to why,
    but in the end we agreed that Time Continuum is an amazing
    conversion strategy for cold traffic.

    Why I'm laughing now is that the Gooroo Client who swiped the
    headline pattern had NO CLUE as to why it was working so
    effectively.

    And although they probably increased conversions a little bit, they
    missed the theory that makes this technique effective.

    Their swipe-modified headline still had "promises of future"
    (false) and didactic instantaneity (i.e., the button said "get
    instant access" instead of making a person FEEL immediacy as we do
    with ours).

    This, I think, is a PERFECT example of what Gooroo Fanboys do to
    stay just Fanboys instead of business owners.

    They swipe and copy away without understanding the intricacies of
    why things work and when.

    Then they wonder why they don't have the same results as the
    originator...
    ----

    It's interesting to see how this past, present, future idea can be applied to things like headlines and landing pages. Can't wait to try it intentionally.

    - Rick Duris
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  • Profile picture of the author debml
    I think what Rick is trying to say... and he can correct me if I'm wrong (and I'm sure he will...)

    Times may change, but human nature doesn't change.

    Swipe files are powerful... but to the extent that you, as the copywriter understand why it worked - the DNA of the original headline and how it applies to the current situation you are writing for.

    Via google, I can search for virtually an unlimited supply of headline swipes.

    Unless I understand the DNA of the headline.. what made it work... and if it applies to the current promotion I'm writing, it's not terribly useful.

    And, incorrectly used, it will be ineffective, and although most don't find it humorous... it really can be can be ... especially if you apply it to something like "why my boyfriend needs to buy me a Burberry Handbag..."

    But, this does illustrate a couple of things. Proven headlines work in the right situation... and in the wrong situation... won't get you a Burberry Handbag... but maybe the humorous aspect of it can be enough
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    just as an FYI, Jenny Thompson, the editor of the publications that are sent out
    by NewMarket, will respond personally to your submission... letting you know what
    needs to be changed or done to make improvements.

    so, it's not like they ask for submissions and leave you guessing... Jenny will let you know
    what needs to be done, if anything, for your piece to have a shot...
    Signature
    MILLION Dollar Copywriter Offering Written Sales Letter or VSL Script Worth $5,000 - Just $500!
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    • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
      Originally Posted by shawnlebrun View Post

      just as an FYI, Jenny Thompson, the editor of the publications that are sent out
      by NewMarket, will respond personally to your submission... letting you know what
      needs to be changed or done to make improvements.

      so, it's not like they ask for submissions and leave you guessing... Jenny will let you know
      what needs to be done, if anything, for your piece to have a shot...
      Not having to spoke to her about this -- but knowing her fairly well -- I bet she won't waste her time if your submission is beyond salvageable (like the one I posted earlier).

      I only mention this because your last sentence appears quite definite... unless she told you otherwise "Jenny MIGHT give you feedback" would be more accurate.

      Colm
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      • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
        Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

        Not having to spoke to her about this -- but knowing her fairly well -- I bet she won't waste her time if your submission is beyond salvageable (like the one I posted earlier).

        I only mention this because your last sentence appears quite definite... unless she told you otherwise "Jenny MIGHT give you feedback" would be more accurate.

        Colm
        hey colm,

        yeah, sorry about that... i probably jumped the gun!

        MIGHT is probably a better way to put it. I'm sure Jenny is busy beyond
        belief. I was just uber impressed with how fast she got back to me!

        Having dealt with AWAI on many different levels... I wouldn't be surprised if they got back to most... they seem to be first class in all they do!
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    • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
      *edit* For anyone curious I ended up submitting a couple heads/ledes of varying lengths just to cover my bases!
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      • Profile picture of the author MaximusForRealius
        This thread kind of died, but did anyone else get a response from their submissions for this contest?

        I sent in three different headline/leads. I had almost forgotten about it when I got an email from Jenny Thompson saying that although my copy wasn't right for the acquisition package, they wanted me to take a crack at the sales letter for one of their supplements.

        I'm working on that as we speak. I'm writing it on spec, and if they decide to test my letter against the current control, I'll get a fee (definitely not the 25k from the original contest, but a fee nonetheless) and a royalty.

        I'm curious if anyone else had any response/success? I haven't seen any winners posted on the contest website.
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    Well maybe yer submission has potential! Like I said, I have no idea. I just know it'd be a huge time investment to get back to every single person, so don't want to raise folks expectations...

    I used to write copy for PTs working in-house with NPE by the way.

    Colm
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  • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
    Colm, this is awesome.

    And I could kiss you for that Jim Rutz promo. Though I won't, because it wouldn't be professional.

    But I could.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Ceskavich
    Hey Colm,

    Didn't want to bump my own thread. I can't replay to PMs for five more posts :/.

    I think you just added me on Skype. If you didn't - add me and hit me up. I'd love to talk.

    - Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
      Don't mean to bump a zombie thread, but I'm wondering what's going on with this as well. Anyone have an update? Pretty great that Maximus got a lead, but I don't see any winners listed for the main challenge. Did Jenny pick people and they're still writing? I know big name copywriters take their time on promotions, but still, 5 months seems a little long...
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    Hey Laura,

    I left the company about a month ago... as far as I know one person was hired full-time based on their potential, but never had a package go out. And that's it.

    Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      Hey Laura,

      I left the company about a month ago... as far as I know one person was hired full-time based on their potential, but never had a package go out. And that's it.

      Colm
      Good to hear, thanks for giving me the inside scoop, Colm. I would've been interested to see what they came up with, but at least someone got a job!
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Here you go, Len.

    http://copyranger.com/cloudtech.pdf

    Good luck with your endeavor.

    - Rick Duris
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    • Profile picture of the author Len Bailey
      Thanks, Rick!

      FYI -- Here's another cover of the same piece...



      Len
      Signature

      Len Bailey
      Copywriter/Consultant
      Feel free to connect on LinkedIn or Twitter

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