hey guys need emotional help:'(

do you really love him/her? seem like you don't and want to be occupied with other things instead of looking for a solution to make things work... but then love is something that is very personal so its not appropriate for me to comment much... if you really love him/her... you will make necessary sacrifices... thats from my point of view...

As an adult you do things you want to do. If you wanted to see her, you would see her. Period.

And being in a relationship means that her opinion matters too. If you don't want that, stay apart. And if she's being unreasonable and wants to see you every single day all day long, without hearing what you are saying, that's a different story.

I am sure you have days off/aren't doing IM every waking moment. If you are literally doing IM every free moment you have, I'd suggest you take a break periodically--whether there is a girlfriend or not.

Also as a woman I have to say that she is not "mad for no reason". I hate when guys say this, it is usually not true in the slightest.

Don't bother answering this guy is just a Troll ....

Start by first figuring yourself out!

Oh y u want to forgot her dont do that just tell her the reasons for avoiding her now and ask her whether she can wait for u, if she says yes then no problem at all ya....

I think that you already give yourself an answer when you said you do not want to see her any more. Just think at the problem like this: if you do not want to see it anymore the best thing is to talk to her and make her understand what is your point of view, in the other hand you must think very much if you want to see her or not because I wiuld not want to see you in her place after a few months.

love is not something easy. especial for someone who are not mature enough. just tell her what you think. if she love you and fit you, the matter will get settled

try by giving her your IM plan with a deadline date.

try by involving her to what is keeping you busy...but are you for real.

Same happent to me when I was in collage. Love is a double edged sword. You want to be with her but you also have other important responcibilities.

I think the choice is simple if you ask your self these two questions:

1) Do you think about your gf while you work on IM?
2) Do you think about IM while your with your gf?

Whichever decision you make, unfortunately you'll lose 1 out of the 2. If you decide to stop IM for your gf, just make sure you won't regret it or even hate your gf later down the road when you think about what you could've accomplished.

I've seen some who are willing to throw away their dreams for someone but I find most find more pride and a sense of accomplishment from pursuing work that they are passionate about.

Do what you think is best for both of you. See, if you like her and you don't commit, but you still are always with her. Then, it's stupid not to commit, because this will destroy you emotionally. It's necessary to be able to control your emotions, but a sudden attack can be dangerous to your health!

Be honest and communicate how you really feel; and stop sending her mixed messages for a future together. You are both pursuing different goals right now, and your relationship cannot move forward until you're on the same page....doesn't sound like that's going to happen anytime soon.

thanks guys... followed most of your advice.. well im moving on.. and she hates me for that.. well i think im in love with im... i guess i just have to wait and see what nature would unfold for me.. anyway thanks warrior you guys are really great

areo - you may just not be ready for commitment. There is nothing wrong with that. And it is very good you are being honest with the gf. She will get over it. We all do. Just let go of the guilt. Doesn't do you any good. Loving IM is a good thing, especially if you make a good living at it. How many people on the planet can say they love their work? you are lucky.

In my eyes you already answer your question. You been long time together and now you started college, that means you have a goal you want to reach and that required a lot of time and lifestyle changes. Now you are confronted with trouble from your friend, your friend don't want you to move on and don't have an understanding what you are going through. That why you move yourself away from that relationship, yes you still like and miss that person because you had a time together, but you know that person match not in your new life plans. That why you say no and avoid contact. You had moved out of that relationship to reach for more, while in the same time your partner don't want changes or move up in life.

Trying to forget something or someone through partying doesn't really help. It is just a temporary time for you to enjoy yourself with the company of other people, but at the end of the day, you always end up to your room alone which will definitely makes you remember the things that you wouldn't want to remember.

If you want/need her, explain to her your reasons and don't just simply answer her questions with a no. I mean, you need to explain to her the situation why you can't commit to her at the moment. But if you don't want/need her that badly, then tell her frankly that it is good for the both of you to focus on your own life. Search first what you both really want in life.

I think honestly noone can give you an answer here. You know whats best for you and if you really see yourself with this person in the future. Saying that, you do need to have balance in your life. I know because i become obsessive and borderline workaholic at times, and it can be self destructive. Just make sure you put time aside for her but also let her know you have other priorities aswell.

Take an example of London dating and learn from it..

When you love somebody, you'll find away. If marketing is more important than loving them, then you don't love that person enough, that's the only excuse you have.

I've been in my first and only relationship for four years. It started out long distance, literally on different countries for a year and a half. No physical or visible contact, and we met online.

I'm convinced that if I can make something like that work, something that requires a vast amount of patience, dedication, and love, that it's obviously possible to take time out of your day to spend time with this girl.

I'm a romantic at heart, and love takes top priority in my life, so I don't know how deeply you feel for this girl who's heart seem to belong to you. I have no idea where you prioritize love in your life. All I can tell you is once loving your partner is priority number one, that making her the happiest person in the world by showing them the how much you love them as often as you can, that loving them and showing them the affection they desire will come so completely naturally to you... but that's only if you choose to make yourself into that person.

You say she's fuming mad at you "for no reason". What about the reason that you're blowing her off, that you just want to "forget about her"? If you don't love her, just say so. Don't ask for advice on what to do for something that's as simple as a "get rid of her" or "keep her and show her you love her" kind of situation.

Yes, it is that simple. I've seen this situation enough times to know that people try and overcomplicate things in order to generate excuses and reasons why they shouldn't be with this person, instead of just fessing up that they don't want to be, breaking it off, and moving on.

Monday to Friday you work full time and spend some time at the weekend for your girlfriend.

Money comes and goes, so never get too consumed in your work when you have people that love you that need attention.

i personally think we can do IM with other social activities as well.
IM doesnt stop us..
you can get atleast 2 hours for her in any time of the day .
The best thing about IM is, You are no one's slave. you can manage to take off whenever yo uwant.

Although it's good to work hard on your IM project, I think you also have to learn about life balance including the people who are important to you. If you don't have life balance, no matter how successful you are in IM, you will suffer negative consequences as a result of your imbalance, whether they be your health, relationships or both.

Try to give her sometime regularly to her, as small as 5 minutes.. Your career is more important, according to me. However, just make it a point to daily give her 5 minutes of a fruitful conversation, you will surely be comfortable in both.

Alloting 2 hours per day for your love is more than enough to sustain the love , if you really love her it should not be a problem for you to allot just 2 hours a
day for her , money is noteverything man , dont spend 24 hours a day to make money.

well guys im well over her... and im concentrating on im now.. i mean i have a goal in life and i want to reach that goal.. i realize that if she would not understand then its just not meant for me? but again... i now can concentrate on im and college .... well... lesson learnt... THANKS FOR THE REPLIES

I was in exactly the same situation half an year ago. I can not manage to combine the two things - my work and to spend enough time with my gf. She was from that type of girls that always wanted all of my attention. What I did? I ended our relationship. And know what? Now I'm so sorry for doing so. May sound a little banal but you have to listen to your heart.

I NEVER had a gf in the bay area, it's not easy as it seems to just hook up. It takes time and patience. I'm independent, I see some kids they really into the music industry, so they take their time making music and sometimes not really focus on school. Dude, party your ass off man, I see you smoking a blunt lol. I feel the same way man, but there's tons of girls out there for the taking you can get with. I do, however got a long distance relationship but she's ughhh man always clubbin' and with her girls it's whatever though.
Do what you feel in your heart man.

I am going through something like this as my BF is treating me the same way! Trust me, it hurts a lot. If you cannot understand her/his feelings, please tell him/her to move on in their lives. They may cry right now, but it goes as; Sooner the better!

Set your priorities dude! Don’t blame love or the poor girl you are dating or not dating. If you cannot do that. I don’t think there is anybody else who will.

why aren't you ending it if you want to forget about her?

Are you stressed about your IM business? or just can't bother with her?

It seems as if you aren't 100% sure exactly you want to do.

Ask yourself what the best decision is for you

Just make sure that you are respectful to the other person if you ever had feelings for them.

Good luck

If you have followed the advice and moved on, then good for you and best for her! She will understand one day..Just dont ever get back to her to make things worse!

Dude, don't lose your focus because all she wants is all of your time and even more once she knows that you are trying to run a business. Same is true when you want to work out or read a book or study or focus on something. Sad, but you have to follow your dreams and do not let anybody stop you.

You said 2 things that expose your true feelings. "I kinda love her" and "I want to forget her totally"

Kinda love? Hmmmm..... You know the truth, face it.....