13 replies
I'll try not to make this into a mini-rant, so please forgive me if that's what it sounds like.

I guess it's like that old cliche, "it's darkest before dawn." As of late I've been drained and frustrated, feeling like I've become a burden on people around me. In a nutshell, my part-time job is a waste of time, things are crappy at home, it's been affecting my relationship. I have to depend on everyone else for every goddamn thing - no car, so I'm asking for rides, and not enough money for food, feel guilty when it's lunch time.

Started a jewelry business on Etsy a year ago with a friend, however neither of us knew what we were doing so that folded. Got into IM later on, been at it for almost six months. Spent enough money to get into debt, never had a clear focus - dabbled in affiliate marketing, started a blog but felt it was taking too long to set up. Eventually decided on my own business. I'd stay up all hours collecting freebies, developing the products, and building the site... then took FOREVER to actually upload the site because I was always tweaking the stupidest of details (I really, really do not have the time or the energy to be dealing with table formatting at 6 AM after I've had 3 cups of coffee and just want the damn site uploaded.)

So here I am. I have my damn site up finally, needs traffic and more content added before it launches, and I'm tired. The reason I'm on the Warrior Forum instead of on the phone with my best friend is because NO ONE I know understands Internet marketing. Everyone's advice would be just to "quit wasting time and get a real job". "Make money online" often translate into "start a business." WHY is that concept so hard for non-IMers to understand. Um, hi? Ebay? Is that not "making money online"? That's before anybody knows about affiliate marketing, forex, blogging or whatever else...

That said, I'm right there, guys. I need something - anything - that will put my mind back into focus. I've got three weeks till launch day. I'm tired and pissed off. How do I focus?
#darkest #dawn
  • Profile picture of the author procopywriter
    I've been in that frustrated place before and I know exactly what it's like to struggle with finances. I've eaten my share of Ramen noodles, believe me!

    It sounds like you need to take some time to quieten your mind. It's very difficult at first, but it helps calm you down. All of our minds are totally schizophrenic. You've got to focus on eliminating the "clutter" from time to time.

    Start with slow, deep breaths. As you inhale, think "juuuuust"... and as you exhale, think "thiiiiis".

    I learned that from Deepak Chopra. You're focusing on just the breath... just the present moment... clearing all thoughts. (If your mind starts to wander, just gently bring your focus back to the breath, to "just this", to just the present moment, to just "BEing".)

    It takes practice... but it's incredibly rewarding and transforming, and you'll find your place of peace. In that place of peace, you'll find clarity... and from that place of clarity, you'll know how to proceed.

    Good luck, and God bless...

    Aaron
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  • Profile picture of the author Adrian Cooper
    Originally Posted by moneysoapbox View Post

    I'll try not to make this into a mini-rant, so please forgive me if that's what it sounds like.

    I guess it's like that old cliche, "it's darkest before dawn." As of late I've been drained and frustrated, feeling like I've become a burden on people around me. In a nutshell, my part-time job is a waste of time, things are crappy at home, it's been affecting my relationship. I have to depend on everyone else for every goddamn thing - no car, so I'm asking for rides, and not enough money for food, feel guilty when it's lunch time.

    Started a jewelry business on Etsy a year ago with a friend, however neither of us knew what we were doing so that folded. Got into IM later on, been at it for almost six months. Spent enough money to get into debt, never had a clear focus - dabbled in affiliate marketing, started a blog but felt it was taking too long to set up. Eventually decided on my own business. I'd stay up all hours collecting freebies, developing the products, and building the site... then took FOREVER to actually upload the site because I was always tweaking the stupidest of details (I really, really do not have the time or the energy to be dealing with table formatting at 6 AM after I've had 3 cups of coffee and just want the damn site uploaded.)

    So here I am. I have my damn site up finally, needs traffic and more content added before it launches, and I'm tired. The reason I'm on the Warrior Forum instead of on the phone with my best friend is because NO ONE I know understands Internet marketing. Everyone's advice would be just to "quit wasting time and get a real job". "Make money online" often translate into "start a business." WHY is that concept so hard for non-IMers to understand. Um, hi? Ebay? Is that not "making money online"? That's before anybody knows about affiliate marketing, forex, blogging or whatever else...

    That said, I'm right there, guys. I need something - anything - that will put my mind back into focus. I've got three weeks till launch day. I'm tired and pissed off. How do I focus?
    None IM'ers are in denial.

    My youngest son, who is a straight A* student is starting IM instead of getting higher qualifications, University etc. He is getting a whole load of flack - they say he is "wasting his life" - from friends who say he will "end up serving fast food at McD's etc.

    But my three sons - all entering IM as teenagers - see and know the freedom and benefits my IM business brings. They enjoy the lifestyle where we do what we want, when we want.

    His "friends" are doomed to getting a j-o-b and likely misery for 50 years.

    Need inspiration?

    Preston Reuther was in the police but retired I think through mental issues. While in a mental institution he started making jewelery from bits of wire.

    It is now a multi-million dollar business:

    Learn how to make wire wrap jewelry

    Message: Just do it!

    One of the biggest mistakes I see IM'ers make is chasing "niches" they know nothing about - and usually lots of them.

    Choose a niche that you are passionate about - or at least interested in - and make it your own. That's what it is all about.

    You will make more money than you can imagine.
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    • Profile picture of the author JoelMatthews
      Originally Posted by apc01 View Post

      None IM'ers are in denial.

      One of the biggest mistakes I see IM'ers make is chasing "niches" they know nothing about - and usually lots of them.

      Choose a niche that you are passionate about - or at least interested in - and make it your own. That's what it is all about.
      Ok, What is a niche?

      I hear alot about them but don't 100% understand, I'm new to the IM business too and maybe I should know already?

      Thanks in advance
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    • Profile picture of the author MelanieandMiles
      Originally Posted by igorhelpsyousucceed View Post

      Hey moneysoapbox,

      what you need is to focus on "WHY" are
      you doing this? That will boost you!

      Igor
      Igor... Great Advice! I call it my "Compelling Why" and for every dream I have, I focus my energy on the compelling reason WHY I am doing what I am doing.

      When the why is strong enough, even Miracles are possible!
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  • Profile picture of the author Shariyf Clark
    MSB,
    None of your non-marketing friends will understand you because they don't share your vision and they simply aren't leaders like you are. I'm going to recommend a book to you and that book is "Tribes" by Seth Godin. It's ****ing awesome. It was suggested to me by a pretty big IM'er and it's definitely helping me get to where I need to be, mentally, in order to tackle this IM stuff.

    As far as life stuff is concerned, I am right there with you. This has been a shit month for me financially. I had to scrap all of my plans for this month and probably the rest of the summer. I'm upset about it but at the same time, if scrapping everything is going to get me in a better position to execute my plans then this is what has to be done. Sometimes we just gotta take a good thrashing before we have the tenacity to stand up to whatever challenge we're taking on. Stay head strong. Get your launch done. If it doesn't go as well as you'd like it to go, then take note of your mistakes and make the next one count. Just do something. You will love yourself a hell of alot more if you get SOMETHING done as opposed to not getting anything done, even if it means you have to postpone your plans. Hang in there dude.
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  • Profile picture of the author tlimstliy3
    MSB, been there girl! It is darkest before the dawn. And some day you will be able to look back and laugh, I swear. For now, log off for a few hours and go outside into the daylight. Walk barefoot in the grass if you can.

    Once you feel better, write your goals down on paper--short term and long term. Then work towards your goals every day. Every little step counts, even the backslides-- you are learning and believe me, if you stick with it, you WILL succeed. Do not give up!

    Don't listen to folks not in the business-- they will never understand. How could they? Good on you that you turned here!

    Like Tony Robbins says, sometimes a 2 millimeter difference is all it takes. You might just need a new perspective. Good luck and keep your chin up!!
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  • Profile picture of the author queenbuzzy
    No one in my circle of friends understands my desire for this Internet thingy. They dont' even understand why I'd want to run a business, as they prefer day desk-jobs and 401ks.

    So...I had to get different friends. Not replace the ones I have...I love 'em! But it's important to be surrounded by people who understand where you're coming from.

    You should check and see if there are any IM or AM groups in your area through Meetup.com. You'd be amazed at the support you can get just by hanging out with others who "get" you.

    Online forums are awesome, (and, you're on the best IM forum there is!) but there's something to be said about in-person contact and support from the people who understand your field, your desires, and can help you learn from their mistakes and experiences.

    Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author Adrian Cooper
      Originally Posted by queenbuzzy View Post

      No one in my circle of friends understands my desire for this Internet thingy. They dont' even understand why I'd want to run a business, as they prefer day desk-jobs and 401ks.

      So...I had to get different friends. Not replace the ones I have...I love 'em! But it's important to be surrounded by people who understand where you're coming from.

      You should check and see if there are any IM or AM groups in your area through Meetup.com. You'd be amazed at the support you can get just by hanging out with others who "get" you.

      Online forums are awesome, (and, you're on the best IM forum there is!) but there's something to be said about in-person contact and support from the people who understand your field, your desires, and can help you learn from their mistakes and experiences.

      Good luck!
      What people not in business, who cannot see beyond the 9-5 misery - they call it "security" - never see is that it is the entrepreneurs, the risk takers, he visionaries who create the businesses that create the jobs they cling to.

      Before I started my first bricks and mortar business 33 years ago, I got tremendous flack from just about everyone who told me I was "throwing my life away".

      5 years later I was providing jobs for over 70 people.

      They still don't see it - or if they do they see it as a "lucky break".

      Some people are born to succeed and enjoy freedom. Everyone reading this post is included - otherwise you would not be here.

      Follow your Heart and Inner guidance with Passion, and you cannot lose.

      Ups and downs yes - all part of the experience and final destination, but what separates the truly great business people from those who fail and give up is that that those who succeed is they see failure as a learning experience and an opportunity to become a better person and businessman or woman.
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  • Profile picture of the author A8ch
    Seems to me you've been stricken with what I call "The Grasshopper Syndrome". You jump impulsively from one opportunity to another without a proper understanding or purpose for your actions. As a result your adventures are shortlived and unfulfilled.

    This leaves you feeling empty and disgusted with yourself and your circumstances. So it's not long before you find another carousel to jump onto and repeat the process.

    However, there is one thing that has remained consistent throughout, and that is your entreprenurial spirit.

    I like ProCopywriter's suggestion that you should quiet your mind and identify what it is you want to achieve the most. With that fixed firmly in your sights, the next step is to figure out a way to safeguard that ambition and then use your strengths and talents to implement a plan for its attainment.

    It's a waste of time to share your dreams with those who aren't supportive. As QueenBuzzy says, "...it's important to be surrounded by people who understand where you're coming from." So find a mentor or support group for strength, guidance and encouragement. That can be a very uplifting and confidence-building experience.

    In a nutshell: settle yourself, get focused, make a plan, and work that plan to fruition.

    In the meanwhile, use the circumstances that are forcing you to be dependent on others today, as an incentive to turn things around. This way they'll be reduced to an interesting footnote tomorrow, when you start living your success.

    Hang in there! Don't let go and don't lose sight of your goal.

    Hermas
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    Thank you all for your kind words. I'll continue to hold my head high. I've realized too, that the first website is always the hardest. I know with perseverance I'll get there.

    Emily
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    In all that you do, know your True INTENT...

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  • Profile picture of the author marmo
    Envision you are already where you want to be and make that your thought pattern that you are already successful and always always remember the end result you dreamed when you began. Sometimes we slip along the way towards the destination , what matters is how you pick yourself up and what you learned during the slip. Any negative anywhere can be turned in a Positive if you just use insight to glean lessons and knowledge.

    IM is a lot of work yes. But the rewards are what keeps us doing what we are doing. Your time will come if you keep at it !
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