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If you ate...

by joe golfer
9 replies
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With the new year looming, you may be considering starting a new running program to work off the food you ate over the holidays.

How far you should run depends on how much and what you consumed in November and December. Here is a quick guide:

If you ate:
32 cookies
15 pieces of fudge
25 potato latkes
Run 1/2 mile per day.

If you ate:
56 cookies
25 pieces of fudge
33 potato latkes
17 sausage rolls
Run 3/4 mile per day.

If you ate:
65 cookies
30 pieces of fudge
37 potato latkes
22 sausage rolls
12 mince pies
Run 1 mile per day.

If you ate:
75 cookies
35 pieces of fudge
43 potato latkes
37 sausage rolls
15 mince pies
21 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
Run 1.5 miles per day.

If you ate:
100 cookies
43 pieces of fudge
47 potato latkes
40 sausage rolls
17 mince pies
24 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
15 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
Run 3 miles per day

If you ate:
124 cookies
47 pieces of fudge
54 potato latkes
43 sausage rolls
21 mince pies
25 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
19 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
Run 5 miles per day

If you ate:
11,503 cookies
7,755 pieces of fudge
8,456 potato latkes
27,987 sausage rolls
5,278 mince pies
33,785 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
44,525 deep fried chocolate cupcakes
175,000 candy canes
300,000 gallons of egg nog
Please do not run. Call the fire department to cut a hole in the side of your house so they can lift you out with a crane and take you to the emergency room.
  • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
    I'm a firm believer in just walking.

    Running is just too hard on the body.

    19 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
    Never tried that one before.

    300,000 gallons of egg nog
    Is this with or without a 'kick of rum' or some nice brandy?
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

      I'm a firm believer in just walking.

      Running is just too hard on the body.
      I sure hope waddling burns calories. That's pretty much my choice.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I sure hope waddling burns calories. That's pretty much my choice.
        It produces fires with the thigh rubbing friction.

        So yes
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I sure hope waddling burns calories. That's pretty much my choice.
        Look at all those books in your sig! My you've been busy.

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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    What, me run?

    I would rather go down to an air con, fancy shopping centre, and walk it off, well at least til l get to a coffee and cake pitstop!

    I expect Claudes to have a lot of dunuts, and for him to walk up his street, at least til the Green Thumb, floral store?

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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Originally Posted by joe golfer View Post

    With the new year looming, you may be considering starting a new running program to work off the food you ate over the holidays.
    I jus' lost half my body weight readin' the frickin' list.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sharpay
    Do I have to have eaten everything on the list, or is 300,000 gallons of egg nog enough to have to call the fire department?
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  • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
    Originally Posted by joe golfer View Post

    19 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
    For health reasons, I prefer not to fry my cupcakes.


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  • Profile picture of the author writeaway
    Thanks for posting this. I was thinking of putting off my daily morning run but you got me off the fence
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