Opinions Needed: AutoResponders/Mailing List Managers

Sorry for the cross post, but I figured this question would be better in the programming forum:

Ok, let me first say that yes, I tried AWeber - didn't like the interface, didn't like the way it worked, and I don't like hosted solutions. I also don't like the way that they sent a confirmation request to the list that I imported (thank God I only imported a few!). ConstantContact is extremely limited, and I've got extensive experience with iContact, which is just not that great.

Anyway, I'd like to host my own mail list manager, and here are the features I'm looking for:

• PHP/mySQL based (ASP/dotNet/SQL Server is fine as well)
• Scheduling - set a time and date to email your list, or set it to email after X days of subscribing
• Unlimited Lists - 99.9% of the apps out there have this
• Email Throttling
• AutoResponder - very important and surprisingly, some don't have this!
• Redirection - when a subscriber signs up, we can redirect them to any page instead of a canned sign up page from the list manager
• Event Triggers - if a subscriber opens the email, we can send another mail, or schedule one. Or if they click on a link in the email, etc
• Unlimited fields - I ned to capture multiple inputs
• Clean interface, easy GUI
• Not massively expensive (greater than $200 per license)

I tried ListMessenger, and that was clean and easy to use, but had no autoresonder, no redirection, and no event triggers. PHPList looks to be good (especially for the price), but being open source it's fugly - also has no event triggers or redirection without a little hacking. InterSpire was nice, but $495? Damn!

So have any of you used or are using a self hosted solution, and what do you suggest? Thanks in advance!