The IM Obsession with Keywords Sucks: Joe's Trip to the Market
- SEO |
Ever since I came online, there has been one trend in particular that I've been hoping would die: keyword stuffing. This constant talk about keyword density, exact match domains, long tail v. short tail, it's all been pretty ridiculous from the start.As people try to find ways around Google things seem to be getting worse, not better.
Myself and other Warriors who have a business outside of selling SEO services have been saying all along that your content needs to be geared towards humans, not what you hope a search engine algorithm wants. An experience I had at the supermarket a few days ago highlights exactly what we mean, and what will happen if you don't start writing for humans now.
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It was another boring night at the undisclosed location Joe is being kept at. The Yankees had just finished delivering another beat down to Joe's beloved Red Sox, meaning Joe was in as foul a mood as he could get. Mentor Po Stobinson, in one of his rare good moods, knew he needed to cheer the kid up.
Po: Hey buddy, you doing alright?
Joe: I don't want to talk about it.
Po: Look, I know they suck this year. I know that Bobby V can't manage for ****, all of Cherington's trades have backfired, the team is spending about 200 million for a .500 team...
Joe: I'm aware of their problems. Can we drop it?
Po: Sure, sure. Anyways, what I was getting at is that we should do something to take your mind off of things.
Joe: What do you have in mind?
Po: Well kid, I know you like burritos. Since you're still technically kidnapped though, I can't just go taking you to Chipotle. We can make homemade burritos though.
Joe: Alright! Can I come to the store to get ingredients at least? I haven't seen the outside world in almost a week now!
Po: *Sigh* OK, Joe.
Joe: Yipee!
As Joe runs out the door to the car, Po loads a tranquilizer gun and hides it in his pants.
Po: But don't you even think about running boy...
Half an hour later, the pair found themselves in front of a seedy looking grocery store, strangely named "Best Supermarket XXXXX"
Joe: You sure this is the place we need to be?
Po: I plugged in nearby supermarkets in the new Google GPS, this was the first place that came up. I assumed that it must be the best.
Joe: Ooook, but I'm not giving money to the hooker by the door. The last thing we need is another Cancun.
Po: Amen to that buddy.
The two cautiously make their way around the escort and enter the store. Given the location's name, they were hoping for a website...er shop that would be top of the line. They were not so fortunate. Half of the fluorescent lights didn't work. Half of the aisles were empty or filled with already opened food. A 30 pound rat sat in the frozen aisle, eating ice cream just like a normal person would.
Joe: Po, how does a store like this get to the top of Google GPS?
Po: The PSF (Penguin Security Force) hasn't gotten around to all of these locations yet. Some unscrupulous business owners can still manipulate their placement by stuffing the right words over and over and over.
Joe: But don't they realize that when their store looks like this they won't get any customers?
Po: They never think that far ahead. They're so obsessed with ranking that nothing else matters. They forget that there are even customers to serve.
Joe: That explains why there isn't an employee in sight, unless that rat works here. Should we just go to a real grocery store instead?
Po: We'll probably have to, since the selection looks pretty crappy and the presentation is horrible. We'll take a quick look around though, see if there's anything we can pick up.
As the two head down the Ethnic Food aisle (misspelled as 3thnic F00d, due to the low competition of the term), an employee finally appears.
Frank DeSEO: Well howdy there folks! Can I help you find something?
Joe: Yeah...we're looking to make burritos.
Frank DeSEO: Cool! Best burrito 2012!
Po: Er...what?
Frank DeSEO: You want Best burrito 2012! All hungry folks eat Best burrito 2012 and there is not Best burrito 2012 better!
Joe (whispers): What the actual f***.
Po knows what's going on here, but figures they need to at leas try and get something out of this tip.
Po: Look Frank, I know what you're doing here. *Po Holds Up His Hands* But I'm a human, see? Huuuummmaaaan. You don't need to throw those stupid terms in my face. Just tell me where I can find 12" tortillas.
Frank DeSEO: Best 12" tortillas? Don't buy tortillas until you read this report!
Joe: What report?
Frank DeSEO: You'll have to opt-in to our customer rewards program to get that.
Joe: *Rolls eyes* I'll pass. I doubt I'm missing much.
Po: Look, do you have the tortillas or not? Looking around, I can see nothing is organized. The few products you have aren't labeled, and all of the other space is taken up by random ads. Do you have 12" tortillas or not?
Frank DeSEO: ...Best free tortillas? They're a must for Best burrito 2012!
Joe: Oh for ****'s sake.
All of a sudden, a hideous screech comes from the next aisle over.
Po: Oh no.
Joe: What is it Po?
Po: I had a suspicion, but couldn't be sure. That's no regular rat. That's Spamrat.
Joe: The Spamrat?
Po: The very same.
Joe and Po turn to run towards the exit. Before they can take their first steps though, the hulking rat blocks their escape.
Spamrat: Skreeeeaaaaah Want to meet a hot nurse?! Go to mee.hot.nurses.while.we.steal.your.money(dot)blogs pot(dot)com!!!
Joe: What do we do Po? What do we do?
Knowing that the Spamrat needed feeding, Po knew what he had to do. He realized that the Best Supermarket XXXXX never sold any food at all, and relied on it's poorly targeted ads to bring in a sliver of money. There was only one person he could sacrifice to the Spamrat, and he personally couldn't believe that it wasn't Joe.
Po: Hey Frank!
Frank DeSEO: Best burrito 2012?
Po: Sure Frank. See that hairy fella over there? He wants a "Best burrito 2012." Go close the deal like I know you can!
Frank nods, and runs towards the Spamrat screaming "Best burrito 2012! Don't buy tortillas until you read this!" The rat quickly pounces on Frank, and begins to devour him ravenously. Joe and Po dart down the other side of the aisle, and make it out the front door before Spamrat notices they are gone. After catching their breath outside, Po takes out his phone.
Joe: What are you doing Po?
Po: Something that should have been done a long time ago.As Joe and Po walk to their car, a jet adorned with the Google GPS passes over head, circles around, and drops a Penguin shaped bomb on Best Supermarket XXXX. It looks exactly like those badass scenes in the movies.
Joe: Soooo. Pizza then?
Po: Pizza it is.
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Crazy story right? 100% true, too. Here's the thing that should worry you guys obsessed with finding the right keywords and playing the Google game though: what can happen to you is worse. Just like Best Supermarket XXXX, sites built entirely around stupid keywords will have little to no relevant content, will rely on crap untargeted Adsense ads, and will quickly become fodder for a Spamrat.
The difference is that you don't have a physical location that readers can potentially get trapped in. You have a website that can be evacuated with just a click. Do you really think your readers will stay when there are real websites with real content out there?
Think again.
If you want a real business, and want to last past the next Google update (heck, if you want to stop depending on Google period, which you should), you need to write for humans. That means leaving the hunt for keywords out of the equation. If they occur, then they occur. That simple.
Just try it, and thank me later.
Myself and other Warriors who have a business outside of selling SEO services have been saying all along that your content needs to be geared towards humans, not what you hope a search engine algorithm wants. An experience I had at the supermarket a few days ago highlights exactly what we mean, and what will happen if you don't start writing for humans now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was another boring night at the undisclosed location Joe is being kept at. The Yankees had just finished delivering another beat down to Joe's beloved Red Sox, meaning Joe was in as foul a mood as he could get. Mentor Po Stobinson, in one of his rare good moods, knew he needed to cheer the kid up.
Po: Hey buddy, you doing alright?
Joe: I don't want to talk about it.
Po: Look, I know they suck this year. I know that Bobby V can't manage for ****, all of Cherington's trades have backfired, the team is spending about 200 million for a .500 team...
Joe: I'm aware of their problems. Can we drop it?
Po: Sure, sure. Anyways, what I was getting at is that we should do something to take your mind off of things.
Joe: What do you have in mind?
Po: Well kid, I know you like burritos. Since you're still technically kidnapped though, I can't just go taking you to Chipotle. We can make homemade burritos though.
Joe: Alright! Can I come to the store to get ingredients at least? I haven't seen the outside world in almost a week now!
Po: *Sigh* OK, Joe.
Joe: Yipee!
As Joe runs out the door to the car, Po loads a tranquilizer gun and hides it in his pants.
Po: But don't you even think about running boy...
Half an hour later, the pair found themselves in front of a seedy looking grocery store, strangely named "Best Supermarket XXXXX"
Joe: You sure this is the place we need to be?
Po: I plugged in nearby supermarkets in the new Google GPS, this was the first place that came up. I assumed that it must be the best.
Joe: Ooook, but I'm not giving money to the hooker by the door. The last thing we need is another Cancun.
Po: Amen to that buddy.
The two cautiously make their way around the escort and enter the store. Given the location's name, they were hoping for a website...er shop that would be top of the line. They were not so fortunate. Half of the fluorescent lights didn't work. Half of the aisles were empty or filled with already opened food. A 30 pound rat sat in the frozen aisle, eating ice cream just like a normal person would.
Joe: Po, how does a store like this get to the top of Google GPS?
Po: The PSF (Penguin Security Force) hasn't gotten around to all of these locations yet. Some unscrupulous business owners can still manipulate their placement by stuffing the right words over and over and over.
Joe: But don't they realize that when their store looks like this they won't get any customers?
Po: They never think that far ahead. They're so obsessed with ranking that nothing else matters. They forget that there are even customers to serve.
Joe: That explains why there isn't an employee in sight, unless that rat works here. Should we just go to a real grocery store instead?
Po: We'll probably have to, since the selection looks pretty crappy and the presentation is horrible. We'll take a quick look around though, see if there's anything we can pick up.
As the two head down the Ethnic Food aisle (misspelled as 3thnic F00d, due to the low competition of the term), an employee finally appears.
Frank DeSEO: Well howdy there folks! Can I help you find something?
Joe: Yeah...we're looking to make burritos.
Frank DeSEO: Cool! Best burrito 2012!
Po: Er...what?
Frank DeSEO: You want Best burrito 2012! All hungry folks eat Best burrito 2012 and there is not Best burrito 2012 better!
Joe (whispers): What the actual f***.
Po knows what's going on here, but figures they need to at leas try and get something out of this tip.
Po: Look Frank, I know what you're doing here. *Po Holds Up His Hands* But I'm a human, see? Huuuummmaaaan. You don't need to throw those stupid terms in my face. Just tell me where I can find 12" tortillas.
Frank DeSEO: Best 12" tortillas? Don't buy tortillas until you read this report!
Joe: What report?
Frank DeSEO: You'll have to opt-in to our customer rewards program to get that.
Joe: *Rolls eyes* I'll pass. I doubt I'm missing much.
Po: Look, do you have the tortillas or not? Looking around, I can see nothing is organized. The few products you have aren't labeled, and all of the other space is taken up by random ads. Do you have 12" tortillas or not?
Frank DeSEO: ...Best free tortillas? They're a must for Best burrito 2012!
Joe: Oh for ****'s sake.
All of a sudden, a hideous screech comes from the next aisle over.
Po: Oh no.
Joe: What is it Po?
Po: I had a suspicion, but couldn't be sure. That's no regular rat. That's Spamrat.
Joe: The Spamrat?
Po: The very same.
Joe and Po turn to run towards the exit. Before they can take their first steps though, the hulking rat blocks their escape.
Spamrat: Skreeeeaaaaah Want to meet a hot nurse?! Go to mee.hot.nurses.while.we.steal.your.money(dot)blogs pot(dot)com!!!
Joe: What do we do Po? What do we do?
Knowing that the Spamrat needed feeding, Po knew what he had to do. He realized that the Best Supermarket XXXXX never sold any food at all, and relied on it's poorly targeted ads to bring in a sliver of money. There was only one person he could sacrifice to the Spamrat, and he personally couldn't believe that it wasn't Joe.
Po: Hey Frank!
Frank DeSEO: Best burrito 2012?
Po: Sure Frank. See that hairy fella over there? He wants a "Best burrito 2012." Go close the deal like I know you can!
Frank nods, and runs towards the Spamrat screaming "Best burrito 2012! Don't buy tortillas until you read this!" The rat quickly pounces on Frank, and begins to devour him ravenously. Joe and Po dart down the other side of the aisle, and make it out the front door before Spamrat notices they are gone. After catching their breath outside, Po takes out his phone.
Joe: What are you doing Po?
Po: Something that should have been done a long time ago.As Joe and Po walk to their car, a jet adorned with the Google GPS passes over head, circles around, and drops a Penguin shaped bomb on Best Supermarket XXXX. It looks exactly like those badass scenes in the movies.
Joe: Soooo. Pizza then?
Po: Pizza it is.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy story right? 100% true, too. Here's the thing that should worry you guys obsessed with finding the right keywords and playing the Google game though: what can happen to you is worse. Just like Best Supermarket XXXX, sites built entirely around stupid keywords will have little to no relevant content, will rely on crap untargeted Adsense ads, and will quickly become fodder for a Spamrat.
The difference is that you don't have a physical location that readers can potentially get trapped in. You have a website that can be evacuated with just a click. Do you really think your readers will stay when there are real websites with real content out there?
Think again.
If you want a real business, and want to last past the next Google update (heck, if you want to stop depending on Google period, which you should), you need to write for humans. That means leaving the hunt for keywords out of the equation. If they occur, then they occur. That simple.
Just try it, and thank me later.
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