It's a funny line right?

And sure - with beer goggles on most people think things are more attractive than they truly are.

But unfortunately for you; People aren't visiting your website when they're drunk.

Which means if you have an ugly looking "old school" website with bad graphics or no graphics at all it will be costing you money.

And lots of it. The solution is easy; Get your hands on the best quality graphics out there for...

"Do no evil"?

My ass...

Let's face it:-

The big-wigs over at Googleplex couldn't give a monkeys about you or me.

They're bandits.

They wipe out entire businesses at the flick of switch on an hourly basis.

Zap.

One word in the wrong place, one illogical and unexplained "contravention" of their fascist algorithm and "bam" - you're history.

Urgh.

So...

Dreamers.

Internet marketing is full of them and frankly it's gettin a tad embarrassing.

Vision boards.

Plans.

Dreams.

And all for what?

Usually nothing because most people don't get off their freakin' tush and do anything. Muppets.

And even for those who do start there's a silent killer which claims yet more victims; Lack of traffic.

Traffic is the oxygen of your business and most internet...

It's lonely out there.

You slave away on your blog, uploading stuff and creating content. You browse Facebook and your inbox looking for crumbs of comfort.

But inside you feel a scream whelling up. I know. I've been there. Internet marketing can be a very solitary pursuit.

And it can be especially demoralizing when you're low on oxygen (like in space).

Oxygen (in the internet marketing sense) is TRAFFIC.

Without it, you're dead....

#1. Tattoo your web address to your forehead and streak across the pitch during the Superbowl. (Could be risky.)

#2. Shave your web address intto your cat's fur and take a video of it dancing to Will Smith then post it on Facebook to create a viral meme.(Could be dodgy.)

#3. Create a mass thread on Facebook where you spam-tag everyone (even though you don't know them) with your web address and picture of a hot chick. (Very shady.)

#4. Create a blog all...