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How does one write a killer "warriors for hire" subject line?

by Prashant_W
2 replies
Hi guys,

I made an inquiry last week. Boy did I get some awesome replies! So much so that I've decided to post another question.

This one in particular has been bugging me for a fair bit to be honest. The last time I ran a Warriors for Hire advert, the click through rate was appalling. I was (still am) promoting my article writing service - at a measly $10/500 words.

When I was last running it at half the price, the views was pretty decent. So while the money wasn't as attractive, the orders were at least coming in.

But when I doubled my rate and left everything else untouched, my views plummeted.

So... how does one actually come up with a sweet subject line for such an advert?

Now don't get me wrong. I did take a good look at some of the posts that seem to be getting a monstrous number views. I reckon most of them are way too hyped up and really annoying to read. But is this what it really takes? To make crazy statements with a dozen and a half exclamation marks?

I'd really appreciate some advice!

Cheerio
#killer #line #subject #warriors for hire #write
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    For reference, your current subject line is:

    I Write Better Than Anyone Else. Period. Don't Believe Me? Free Review Copies Available

    To start with, drop the free review copies, you've got plenty of testimonials. That leaves:

    I write better than anyone else. Period.

    I classify that as hype. You've got testimonials that say you're good, but there's no indication you "write better than anyone else". In fact, I'd be tempted to say it's dis-proven by the mistake in the very first line of your ad (and in the second paragraph, there's probably more but I hate reading Courier).

    Now as a subject line its sole purpose is to get people to click, right? So why isn't it working?

    Because it's a "so what?" statement. Why should the reader care? There's no obvious benefit and there's no curiosity - there's no reason at all for them to click.

    At the moment it's all about you, how good you are. Not what you can do for them.

    You need to focus on the benefits you provide your clients. Write them all out (have a look at other ads to see if you've missed anything) then pick either the strongest or one no-one else is using (but your prospects still want).

    And if possible, get some curiosity in there too, something that teases the reader to click. An example would be to add "(Proof inside)" to the end of your current subject line.

    An alternative method you could try, if you want to increase your prices, is to make the subject line a strong takeaway or a challenge. Use the idea that your service isn't for everyone, it's more expensive than most, you're selective about who you work with, etc.

    Finally, a good resource for crafting anything like this is:

    http://www.comingcrash.com/

    Hope this helps.

    (And a link to your ad in your signature wouldn't hurt)
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author videolover7
      Think for a moment how you've positioned yourself. Articles go for $4 each all the way up to $200 each... and even higher.

      So at $10 each, you're pretty close to the bottom rung but not close enough to compete on price.

      So ask yourself... what will a customer get for his $10 that he wouldn't get elsewhere for $4? Communicate that benefit.

      Also, consider positioning yourself differently. Set your price at $25 (or even $50) and then discount it. Make sure you state a believable reason for the discount. Then, from time to time, raise your price $5 until you're no longer discounting.

      Needless to say, produce work worth $25 (or $50).

      VL
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