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First product complete - what do you think?

by samjaynz
10 replies
Hi everyone, I've just finished my first online product (well actually it's been online for a couple of weeks now) Selling through Clickbank, so I'm just in the process of putting together affiliate resources.

What do you think of my sales pitch page and the general idea of the product?

check it out here
#complete #product
  • Profile picture of the author DustonMcGroarty
    I'm gonna be honest with you because it's only going to help you... don't take offense... it's incredibly boring!

    It's like reading an article and even if I were 100% interested in your topic I don't think I would read even the first paragraph.

    I have a few solutions for you... first is, get rid of the template or whatever it is your using. You need a sales page... with an attention-grabbing headline. Sidebars don't work on sales pages... they're just distractions for the readers and it adds to the clutter on the page.

    Second... I would suggest hiring a copywriter. Writing copy is a skill and it takes A LOT of practice and testing to get it right.

    Again... I'm not trying to put you down, just trying to help out. I'm actually surprised Clickbank approved that as a sales page. They've got some tight restrictions.
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    • Profile picture of the author Naeem Sikandar
      Originally Posted by DustonMcGroarty View Post

      I'm gonna be honest with you because it's only going to help you... don't take offense... it's incredibly boring!

      It's like reading an article and even if I were 100% interested in your topic I don't think I would read even the first paragraph.

      I have a few solutions for you... first is, get rid of the template or whatever it is your using. You need a sales page... with an attention-grabbing headline. Sidebars don't work on sales pages... they're just distractions for the readers and it adds to the clutter on the page.

      Second... I would suggest hiring a copywriter. Writing copy is a skill and it takes A LOT of practice and testing to get it right.

      Again... I'm not trying to put you down, just trying to help out. I'm actually surprised Clickbank approved that as a sales page. They've got some tight restrictions.
      DustonMcGroarty is right . you need to make some adjustments to it because its very boring . you should be use nice looking template for your sales page.
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      • Profile picture of the author EricJames
        Good Product ... Hot niche. Please don't take my words as harsh or mean.

        But sell me. Grab my attention.

        Break up that monotony of text.

        It's like just a huge wall of text. It's faceless. There's no personality.

        Stand out. I want to buy from you. Give me a reason.

        I need a headline. Why are you different from all the other guys? What are you bringing to the table that sets you apart?

        You might have said it in your sales page but it is so lost in that sea of text that I will never know.

        There are ton of these products on the market. At this point you are positioning yourself to be another "me too" or "kind of like this other product"

        Separate yourself ... Brand it heavier. Call your methods systems and formulas. Name those systems and formulas.

        This will get you to be unique.

        If I want info on gold I can go to the 1000s of other products.

        If I want The Golden Bull Formula (off the top of my head and not a suggested means of branding) I can only come to you to get that.

        Do you see the power in that?

        The way you can separate yourself from everything on the market by simply branding it and packaging it as a formula/system/method.

        I may have been a bit brief but I hope you see the power of switching the perspective of the buyer. By that I mean positioning the product as a branded method or system.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dave90210
    I agree the site ir boring and looks dated. Hire someone to design it for you. The content is fine and should do well with search engines. Your Buy Button his not very noticeable, I wasn't sure if I was looking at a sales page or a autoblog. You're off to a good start, make several designs and test each of them and see which one pulls in the most sales
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    • Profile picture of the author ajwilliams
      You need to emulate success. How about a teaser, something that you give away that will interest them in finding out more. I admit that I did not read all of the content and do not know the whole story. But, if it had been interesting from the start, I might have read it.

      Personally, I think you should offer a chapter or two from the ebook itself for potential buyers to read and have your main offer inside that free content. Make your content your sales page. Just a thought.

      A J
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  • Profile picture of the author Audarah
    I really hope you don't take offense to this ( as this is also my first ever post here), but I actually didn't READ anything on your site- I sort of just "looked at it" because I was taken back by the colors, and the lettering. The site is not easy on the eyes.

    You need tons of help with design and whatnot, and then go from there. I had to learn to accept feedback ( negative even) when I had made my first site years ago... it was too personalized to ME as a person instead of to potential buyers.
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  • Profile picture of the author Linda_C
    I'd never buy anything related to "financial" from a .info -- .info does not have a good rep as it is, much less for a financial product.

    Just my 2 cents, of course, but that's the first red flag for me.

    The lack of professional appearance is the 2nd red flag.
    The big fonts and big clipart are the 3rd red flag.

    I don't say that to be mean, but traffic and sales aren't the hardest things to earn online. Credibility is. Credibility comes from a whole lot of perceptions piled onto each other.

    IMHO, you have 3 big red flags flying all at once that could cause a lot of people to question whether your site is "legit" or not.

    Keep in mind it's only my opinion. Drive some traffic and see if you get any results. It's really your visitor's opinion you need, not mine. :rolleyes:
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  • Profile picture of the author MissLauraCatella
    Hey,

    This is a solid concept and I think there's a large and hungry market for your product. These things are very important so good job with that. The bits I read were pretty well written too.

    That said, your formatting is downright frightening. KISS it, don't KILL it. (Keep It Short 'n Simple v. Keep It Long Lengthy), work with what you've got to break it down into smaller lines/paragraphs and really highlight your main benefits and make them stand out to catch scanners.

    I also don't know if all the history lesson is necessary. I think overall this is a great first attempt though. Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Nate Harding
    So listen buddy, there's a lot of good news and a little bad.

    Good: You got a product (and salescopy) out there. Even if it's not the best product or 100% there yet, it's out there, and ready to be improved upon. I call it the Microsoft model. They have tons of updates to their products almost immediately, and ship them half-done. It's comical really. So you're product is ready to be improved upon, bit by bit.

    Bad: The copy needs work. First thing you should do is break up the paragraphs. We live in a digital age where everyone wants their info NOW. Generally, nobody wants to read long paragraphs, and especially headlines. Break them up into smaller, harder hitting sentences, and paragraphs only a few sentences max. I know, sounds dumbed down, but that's what you gotta do.

    Finally: Go to the Clickbank marketplace and look how the top products in each category look and are formatted. That should get you going. (clickbank.com).

    Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author EricJames
    Also I need bullet points. The whole structure and visual presentation is a bit bland.

    I want an adventure, lead me through your mind and the hot product you are offering.

    Sell me on your top ideas in bullet points. It get's people excited.

    Give me a headline to whet the appetite .... some selling and info to get me to understand .... the bullet points to drive me crazy ... and a call to action to give you money.

    It's like a roller coaster. Get me intrigued, inform me, excite me, sell me.
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