Every action and reaction you have is completely in your control.

I honestly believe that's all I need to focus on to live a happy life.

So you're saying if you are about to get hit by a bus you consciously decide to get out of the way? I think that's more of an automated response.

Or, a better question might be, how do you know your reactions are in your full control? It's easy to assume that your reactions can be controlled. But, sometimes you are taken off guard, and then your unimpeded reactions can run wild.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just hoping for a lively discussion. So please don't take offense (although I'm sure you wouldn't).

haha...no I love discussions!! They help make you a lot more wiser

Well what I'm saying is that

1) You're in control of being aware of your surroundings before you actually almost get hit by the bus. It's called presence and awareness. To completely understand the world around you & how it operates.

2) Reactions can be controlled but it takes a different style. You have to master acceptance & unconditional giving.

3) In order to control your reactions you have to do one more really important thing. To understand the emotions and the situation that you're getting involved in before you actually get involved....looking ahead. Also, accepting that people are a certain way and that they have flaws that you can't actively change is HUGE.

I know it sounds a little crazy but I'm getting kinda good at it!! It's pretty awesome. It's taking a lot of time and studies to do it though.

I'm going through The Master Key System, The Sedona Method, and Man Transformations(yeah yeah...but guess what!! I could only find behavior modeling in dating courses lol so why not? I haven't been able to find that right girl yet anyways so I 'm fine with it), and lastly I'm kinda studying The Law of Success on and off...I'm not a fan of Hill's business is your life philosophy so I can't gobble it up in one smooth sweep.

I'm really good at balancing it all out. I do The Master Key System as a part of my morning ritual and I take care of Man Transformations during the evening. Then I take care of The Sedona Method during my free time on the weekends(when I'm not listening to music & hangin with my couple of friends). It works out pretty well actually!

apoorv, I completely agree...this might sound strange but our mind and senses convert a static energy(our environment) into a dynamic...in other words. We interpretative the world how we see it. There is only one truth and infinite interpretations of the truth...

However...I dunno. I had this appiphany about Destiny a while back...it was that we are undoubtably bound to a destiny. I really thought it over for a long time and I realized that we are bound to destiny to a certain point....I'm thinking that if we break free of reacting to our environments and start influencing it we might control our own destiny again...but then again...who knows : )

*I think it's really important to say that you don't control our environment by controlling people but by understanding them.

IMO, the only thing you can really control is yourself. T. Harv Eker says your outer world is created by your inner world. Interestingly enough, I have been listening to Earl Nightingale and Wallace Wattles and they say the same thing. Everything in our outside world can be changed into whatever we decide because we manifest things from the inside out.

I have always believed that control starts with yourself. And from there, it branches out. So long as you can control yourself, you can also control your emotions and consequently the things that happen around you. I believe that it is all connected.

I can't control everything that happens to me. But, I can control my response to everything that happens.

I honestly like where you guys are all taking this. Indeed, it is important to believe that you can be in control of things like your own emotions and decisions. However, it has occurred to me, through reading cognitive science journals and the like, that certain things seem to be under our control when, really, they are simple evolutionary reactions. Like, for example, the way we mature, physically AND mentally. Or epiphanies are also a great example. Sometimes our epiphanies come, as if from a stroke of lightning. Doesn't that mean that we were influenced by an outside force to some extent? It would probably be a bit niave to think that it was all our own doing. Naturally, we can't attribute it all to the external forces but, then again, you're just as hard pressed to attribute it all to yourself.

I'm interested in the idea about the balance of control between what is seemingly in our own realm to control, and what is completely outside it (if there really is such a dichotomy).

Actually similar thoughts have been going through my mind for the past week and because of them I found my way here. I believe that every thought attracts a thing, an event, a person.. The same way my thoughts have brought me to this topic. It's not like searched to find this, I think the universe adjusted it self in that way.

What I believe in is similar to "Law of attraction". Most people have heard of it, but never understood it or accepted it. Its been so obviously intertwined into my life that I could not ignore it any longer.

I think that EVERYTHING is within your control. Not to sound selfish, but I also think that everyone should prioritize the focus of their self, that way they can get the results they want.

Well, actually here's what it comes down to.

1. We are in full control of ourselves

2. We have no control over ourselves.

The literally go hand in hand....my actively trying to gain control you actually loose it because well...it's The Law of Control...what it comes down to is our mind's health is directly proportional to the control we have in our life.

This means that when you are trying to control people, they freak out and cut you off of control...by "giving up" all control you can actually influence people through tweaking and guidance....it's a very subtle concept.

demond and aira, you're completely right...that's actually the core foundation of The Law of Attraction...your inner control and inner peace creates out control and outer peace....

This is really off topic but my fav LOA "guru" is actually a nutritionist! He mad the Longevity Now Program and it's all about having a healthy and fluent body so you can attract that into your life...it's brilliant.

Awesomepossum,

I agree with your first post. Succinct and to the point. We can control what we do and how we react to what others do. The best practice to get into is understanding reality and then with as little emotion as possible getting on with what needs to be done in the situation. This is a key to success.

Sometimes, I can't control my emotional. But I am learning day by day.

I do believe in free will but the society has inflicted and made us to believe in external things like GOD and stuff. So when things go wrong, you feel that you are doomed and you don't control anything.

You need results and evidence to believe in free will. And this can only be acquired through courage, persistence, patience,consistency and self-discipline.

Free-will is dangerous without self-discipline as it can wreck people's lives. I've seen kids my age who have rich parents that give them all the money they want. And you know what happened to those kids - a few of them were doing weed on the railway track in the night and were sleeping on the track. The train came and ran over them...
And we do have one survivor without any arms and another with no legs... Completely shattered wheel after wheel.... Train travelling at 140 miles an hour

You were given freedom but didn't make constructive use of it. And therefore God punishes.

If you have free-will and the self-discipline with a clear conscience, everything goes well most of the time for you even though results may not come as you seek. Look around and you'll find some encouragement..

The only things that I'm able to control are my thoughts and how I react and respond to challenges. Mastering how you manage your mind and emotion is really a key to handling a lot of things in life including those that you mentioned, disease etc...

We can't control everything in our lives nor should we try. We can control our own actions. Where we don't have control, however, we can have an influence over other people's actions and over the final result of a project or accomplishment. Where we try to influence, we should be positive and have our influence push for the better.

Oh ya ! The books name is, "How We Decide", and it was written by Jonah Lehrer. Hope you read it, because it's really quite insightful and interesting.

Well, I know I can control my actions. Its not always easy, but it is my call in the end.

As Stephen Covey says Stimulus > YOUR CHOICE > Response

What Kinds of Things Do You Think You Can Control?

I can control what I'm feeling, thinking and way of acting with choice, habit or for a moment.

But controlling which, in what way, and for whom and when is all tied up to both internal and external influences.

Being aware and trying and doing one's best with what happens to us - within and around us - is all we can do.

In the end, there is really no true control - only a give and take relationship with ourselves and our world.

Controlling ourselves is also like mastering the law of attraction wherein you create what you think - so if you're thinking that you're going to be successful and acted that out, the universe will eventually prepare what you needed. And Aira's true, all is connected in the process.

[DELETED]

My created reality

We have the power to control our destiny. What choices are we making every day?
I have learnt that in order to find ourselves if we are lost-spend time rendering service to others. The soul has an appealing-enlighten effect when we serve people...e.g. visit the hospital,read to the elderly, do a good deed.

What can you control?

Your thinking. That's it. Everything on the outside changes. You control how you perceive it.

Even when attempting to direct your thoughts you will never have 100% control, because random thoughts and feelings enter the minds of even sages.

If you've experienced severe trauma you know that yes, you can view it from a different perspective eventually but you must focus on the feeling of pain or loss before doing this. You can't bury thoughts and expect to be rid of them. Doesn't work that way.

So more than controlling anything life is about directing your attention towards what you intend.
Ryan

I guess if you can control your mind, there wont a problem controlling anything else. Its your mind that plays most of the games and controlling it is like taming a wild animal.

with training your own mind you can be whatever you want... if you want to be stress just keep thinking of those bad things in your life, want to be happy think of those good think and never allow your mind to recall any bad moment unless it make you learn other things and son on...

yes i agree with that!

The only thing you can truly control is your own thoughts. Everything else stems from there.

Except for the involuntary actions, you can control all things you do - your actions and your thoughts. Put these things right and success will fall for you.

I can control my 5 senses. I can control what goes into my mind because I have a filter that separates the weeds from the wheat.

There are many things in life you have no control over.. but yeah you can control your thinking and what going on in your mind.

Newton's Third Law of Motion says that "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." It's physics, a law of the universe.
I cannot control the reaction to my action. But I can control my actions. So I can learn; that's what life is (on one level at least), one big physics lesson! :-)
The more I examine the reactions (from outside, or even inside) to my actions, the wiser and smarter I become about what actions I want to take.
This is also the basis of Continuous Improvement. Try something, see how it works, try something else, keep doing what works, and try something else. And tweak everything, always measuring the results.

If you can believe it you can truly control everything!

However, I haven't met someone like that yet...

I can control each and every thing its depends on me except my emotions.

Most people control is limited. I do not know how many people could be President of the U.S. if they wanted to, though, William Blythe story as a child was an interesting one.

Having control over one's life is every person's fantasy!

Control your Mind = Control your Life. Buddha Meditate

I can control my behaviour and how I react to other people. Central tenet of Stephen Covey's teaching - we don't have to react to other people's weaknesses, but be proactive in managing what they throw at us.

Whilst you cant always control the actions of everyone else and other external circumstances, you can always control your reaction to them. And ultimately your reactions and actions will dictate your life

I believe I can control my own mind. The kind of thoughts I have will atract the "reality" into my life. In this way I can control everything - I just need to be concious of my thoughts.
I attended T Harv Ecker's Millionaire Mind - it's a great course! This weekend I'm going to another free seminar to learn business and selling skills through situational games and also to get to know myself better so that I can have more and more control over my life.
Oh, if anyone is interested please send me your e-mail as I cannot answer you here - I'm new and the forum rules still don't let me

A lot of people argue that their surrounding is out of their control - it's rubbish, we are the creators of our lives with our thoughts!

I wish you all a great day!
Hovirag

What can you control? You can control everything that You do. Outside of that you are dealing with everyone else's chaos. Work on You and They won't bother you as you would have accepted them for who they are. And you'll be prepared to deal with that as you'll see it coming more often....

Jason

These are my thoughts: I have to agree with Demond Jackson. We can't control the bad things (getting hit by the bus, unless we see it coming) because bad things happen to good people. We can't control another persons response to us; good or bad, we can't control anyone or anything but ourselves (and then sometimes that is hard). We have to want to control ourselves and see the need. Also, most positive reactions come from how we think; how we believe, how we face life in general... from our inner being, as D. Jackson said. What we think is what we get. When we defraud ourselves by saying "I can't do this" then we probably won't, but if we say "I will make this internet marketing work" for instance; we more than likely will.

Life can't be control by us; if it were, only good things would happen because not any of us want negative results or things to happen in our life. We can't control when someone leaves us; we can't control what other people think about us or other people's reactions period or outside environment but we can control our own thoughts, attitudes, responses, *** emotional intelligence, how we treat others, how we respect life its self, learning, growing as an individual and so many other things; just by wanting to and being aware.

Your thoughts are very constructive thinking and something to think about for sure and thank you for sharing. This is a great subject to explore.

Yes. You can control everything but in case of bad things. You can't control it.

There is only one thing you can control - yourself. Everything contained it like your emotions, your moods, your fears and others, you can control it. I know some may disagree with me on this but I tried it and with a simple change of outlook, you can really control anything that is within you.

The things you cannot control are the things outside yourself. Your family members, your friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend and the weather are just examples. As a rule, if a problem involves something I cannot control, I forget about it and focus on what I can do to change how I think.

While you usually have very little (or no) control of things that are external to you, you can be in complete control of how you respond emotionally, mentally and physically to these external factors. This is the key to pulling yourself out of a desperate, miserable condition - by focusing on the right things and reacting proactively (instead of passively) to this, you empower yourself to get out of the situation.

Paul

There are some aspects of pain, illness, and disease that can be controlled. Dr. John Sarno wrote a book called "The Mind Body Connection" where he talked about how, if a person refuses to deal with something mentally (a traumatic experience, a stressful situation, etc) that the body manifests physical pain because its easier to "deal with" than the mental anguish you're refusing to acknowledge and deal with.

I've had several instances where I've had back pain, muscle aches, neck pain, even TMJ and all have been eliminated for me on my own by mentally dealing with the stress I'm going through at the time.

Sarno calls it Tension Myositis Syndrome.

Anything which I choose to. Certainly, I am capable of making quality decisions in regards to each item that you listed.

I prefer to focus on learning to make quality decisions in every moment of my life. Quality meaning that the decisions are conducive to what I truly want in my life. Not to be confused with instant gratification, drugs and the like.

It is amusing how it is often the case that there are many very simple, small decisions which can be made that have a huge impact.

To give a few brief (and therefore incomplete) examples:

Disease and Illness:
-I can chew my food at least 30 times before swallowing
-I can make getting enough sleep a priority

Mental Focus:
-I can clean off my desk and move all distractions far away from me while I work.
-I can turn off my phone and e-mail while I work.
-I can hang a sign on my office door that mentions I am busy at the moment.

Friendship:
-I can say hi when waiting in line rather than staring at my feet
-I can talk to people sitting next to me when I go places
-I can ask for someone's e-mail address if I enjoyed their company


Interestingly, just a few small changes to a person's routine can render a big change in their quality of life.

There are, of course, much broader things to say of all of these but I think that focusing on the small, simple decisions gets my point across a bit more clearly than writing a novel in this thread.

I think it has much to do with being aware or conscious of what you're doing. though some times conscious thoughts become reflex as they pass unto muscle memory.

So I'd say you have control over your actions when you really, really want to have it.

Or maybe not, who knows...

Firstly I love The Demetri Martin show,he has a very clever and funny way of looking at things.I Think we have the ability to control most things in our lives it just depends how passionate and how much you want these things!

For me no other person can control you but its only you can control and decide what your going to do.