Are you addicted to self-help?!

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65
What if I told you that all self-help products and biz plans are preying on you and they want you to stay just where you are. You would probably tell me I'm crazy but, am I? Now I'm not saying that these products are junk, quite the opposite, most have very good information and can be helpful but they are not the end all and be all. These books, mp3's and videos become like a drug and they can be just as debilitating as crack. You see we are a society of quick fixes and these two industries know that all too well. I have found that many clients do not use these tools to their fullest potential.
Allow me to illustrate, let's say you have just purchased a '69 camaro, the car was a great deal but needs a ton of work. Thing is you have always wanted an old camaro, problem being your experience working on a car ends at putting gas in it. So, you get every book you can find on the subject and proceed to soak up all the knowledge you can. Fast-forward 6 months you have now read every book on the '69 camaro including the complete repair manual, but you have yet to lift a wrench. You are no more of a classic car restoration specialist today than you were 6 months ago, the problem is you have created activity but no action has been taken.
There's a huge difference between activity and action. Activity keeps your goal at arms length where as action moves you closer to your objective. So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity for action.

To Your Success,
Mike
#mind warriors #addicted #selfhelp
  • Hello Mikecsy. I agree with you. I like to tell people..."Study, Take Action, Don't Quit!" You can't make money and be successful if you don't take action. But self-help definitely helps motivate and inspire people...gets them to think positive. We live in a very negative world.

    To Your Success,
    Brad Marcus
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    • I also agree, very well said! That explains all.
  • I thought maybe politicians, drug lords, and used-car salesmen prey on people.

    That attitude sucks because it places all the blame on someone else. If you're going to help yourself, then do it. Otherwise, you'll just complain yourself into an early grave.

    If you pick up a book labeled self-help, don't expect someone else to do it for you.
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  • I was until I escaped the matrix.

    Will
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    • Reading Self Help books is also another way of procrastinating.You read endless books in the hope of finding the magic formula which is just another excuse for doing nothing.
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  • I'm not addicted to "self help" I am addicted to "helping others". I think self help is backwards and really we should be learning how to help others. In the process of helping others, you yourself will learn tons more than by diving into books that all say the same things. This has been true according to my personal experience.
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    • I agree that most of the books are saying the same things, using different formats and words. They can be a form of escapism for some, but I doubt if there's a deliberate ploy to prey on people.

      There are people who are ''so down'' that they can't conceive of changing their focus to helping others. If you're going through hard times, it's difficult to have the confidence to think that you even have something of value to share.

      I've been reading self-help books for decades, and I have no plans to stop. I know I'm making progress because of some of the lessons. At times, a single sentence can transform lives. ''There's a gap between stimulus and response'''...that's just an example.

      Some of the lessons/insights from such books and programs, that a few of us take for granted, are really new concepts to some other people. I was talking to some young friends last night, and I observed that most of them have not clearly defined their paths. They're confused and opportunistic. And thus have very little...


      I'll keep reading the books (I spend most of my time on ACTION), even if only to equip myself with a refreshing and motivating metaphor structure that I can always leverage to help others.
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  • Great advice. Learning about something is NOT taking action. What you describe is avoidance and to a degree I think we all do it. I like the cameo metaphor. You also forget the information you don't use to implement.
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    • Oh so true, Mack. Thanks for the comment.
  • I agree Mike, that paralysis by analysis can be a goal stopper, blimey I've fallen victim to it myself many times.

    It was just this paragraph that made me think 'hang on!'
    I would substitute 'research only' for activity, and 'acting on research' for action.

    This is a great point you make, and I've inserted my replacements:
    So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity(research only) for action(acting on research).

    Finding out how to do something is not the same as then going on and actually doing it, great point!

    Hmm, actually as I'm typing I feel another point coming, that when you *are* doing the research, it's valuable to rephrase that research into language that relates to you individually.

    Cheers,
    Gordon
  • I am not addicted to self-help.
    I help myself at times but not to the extent that I no longer accept other's help.
    It is always nice to have others view.
    I love Brainstorming
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    • Mikecsy very Insightful angle to look at self help and to really find out if it is helping or hurting a particular person.
  • BTW guys, I'm a admitted self-help junkie (both for personal enjoyment and professional development) and I get a ton of great tools by reading. I have just found that too many people think just reading the book is going to change their life but it needs to be combined with consistent targeted action.
    To Your Success,
    Mike
    • [2] replies
    • In the case of self help books. I would define a person who keeps buying and reading self-help books but never taking action.

      That's my personal definition of self-help book addiction. And like all addicts they suffer similar fates; broke, confused and imbalanced.
    • I think this sums it up in a nutshell!
  • Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Trouble is, most folks are looking for the answer 'out there' in books and mp3s and programs. (Lucky for me 'cos that's my business!)

      Seriously, not everyone has the capacity to get things clear in their head or develop habits and behaviours that serve them best, me included.

      That's why when your Camaro breaks down you find an expert (like me or Mikecsy) who can help you get it running better. I don't consider that preying on people any more than many of the offers on this forum, or the IMers offerring golfing tips or the people throughout the weight loss industry.

      For me it's more about applying my skills and knowledge and experience to helping people. and yes people get caught up in the search (eg reading too many self help books) and fail to actually take action ... but then that's what coaches are for, eh?
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  • I agree! As someone who has purchased almost every shiny object course and ebook available, with a good share of them still on the to-read pile, I can honestly say I made hardly any progress until I took action. Now I can look back and see how much I have accomplished in a fairly short amount of time.

    Activity keeps us busy, but action moves us forward. Yes!

    BTW - love the '69 Camaro example!
  • Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • I agree with Chris, when he says Self Help, really should be Helping Others. I look at Pat Flynn from Smart Passive Income, he is helping out allot of people get into IM. He is also helping himself as well.

      I guess with all of the Self Help Books, is yes they are good. Just apply what you learn, and hold yourself accountable and assess yourself each day!

      The Barker CEO
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  • I agree. I'm often times very active but it's really just beating around the bush. When you're truly on-point you're on-target and on-purpose - that's when the magic happens.

    But you can also use the fact that you are not yet where you want to be as a club to beat yourself over the head with...unnecessary self-motivating force. Your soul's always calling you so just listen to that
  • Banned
    Every person I have encountered who makes money from selling books etc does so for their own self interest. The day I see different I will gladly let you know.

    Disclaimer: On that note I am sure some people sell product to help others.

    Unfortunately, some product owners may not realize if they're needing to make an income from their activities then they have to "stretch" the product to give added value. i.e if someone paid for a $5000 seminar and the speaker came in and said, " Hello audience, you don't need me, look within and just do it! Thank you for coming".

    The audience would be quite pissed. The truth doesn't make money, so, products, 80 page books, etc gets sold and perpetuates a myth. Now the world believes that x,y,z must be the way because out of 100 books they read, it says so.

    Lifes a parodox.

    Soap box over sorry.
  • Hey Mike,

    You got me thinking with your post... I know these times, reading a book or studying a course on self-help and getting all fired up on the gathered knowledge. 100% motivated to get the ball rolling, only to realise that a few weeks later, everything is still the same as before, substituting activity for action. Always reminding myself to check if I really did progress REALLY is the key here... I've been doing it unconscious but that's not enough, to make it constant and conscious is a big one you remind me today....

    Over the last few month I had a good handful of days where I considered all my gathered knowledge as worthless, because I thought I still be where I've been at the start, not being able to really 'get it'. Leaving me with the feeling of an addiction to those books and courses that maybe stop me more than anything else... Which resulted in the feeling of having missed something and wanting to get my next fix, nearly like withdrawl symptoms.

    But going back mentally over the last 6 month, I've come a long way... It's not always constant and I'm an impatiant person, haha... But to have a conscious look back every so often sets things into perspective. It makes it easier to realise that sometimes it is more of a journey then a race. Everything in it's perfect time. Everything IS unfolding... The camaro IS getting a fulltime make-over, from the inside to the outside. NICE, Haha...

    Great post, thanks man!
  • Banned
    OP you didnt have to PM me about your coaching services. You can say what you needed here. I was simply giving my perspective on what I think goes on with paid [fill in the blank].
  • Self help is something you listen to in your car, or in bed at night, or on a trip, or while you are making breakfast... As longing as you are working and not stopping your work flow to do it, it will increase your productivity... but if you are just sitting around listening to it, its like over filling your tank with gas, or flooding your carburetor... The energy has to "flow" and circulate... if its damned up, everything goes to hell... Its called "The motivational speaker planted his seed in lazy ground". Worthless.

    Well maybe not "Worthless" because later on that seed can grow I guess... but still it could be fueling productivity NOW! What a waste!
  • I am not really addicted but I am just attracted to self-help materials...
  • Great post! You hit the target dead on. I've been guilty of what you said myself from time to time. Read, learn but do tomorrow and tomorrow never comes...

    Action is key! You can read all the books and magazines on body building, but if you never lift a weight you're still going to look like you are looking now...
  • I totally agree with you. I know so much that I could make things work but didn't take acton... ACTON! but recently I did and I see more results.

    Same concept for colleges, you can go to college and get a degree. You have all the book knowledge but no action taken to get job experience. Doesn't mean you will land yourself a good job.
  • Thanks for sharing! This is so true of me! I love to read and gain lots of knowledge but have a major problem putting anything into action! That needs to be my new focus!

    Jess
  • It's pretty funny how many people will overlook that post. Good stuff.
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    • Phil
      Thanks for the comment!
      Mike
  • I agree completely, it's not just reading and absorbing, which is good, but actually implementing and getting the experience is when big change comes.
  • No matter how many self help books you read, yet you do not practice what they preach, it is a waste of your hard earned resources.
  • I agree. The self-help industry is now so big.
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    • There are many good ideas available, but you must pick what works for you then get going.
      To Your Success,
      Mike
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  • Im defo a victim of this.
  • i am too addicted to self help....
  • I am not sure if I will use the word "addictive" but continuous personal development is certain in for me.

    Louisa
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    • Hey Coach,
      If I'm not mistaken you and I have an obligation to our clients to read all we can, so we can serve them in the best possible way. Thanks for contributing.
      To your success,
      Mike
  • Is that a question, or a cheap advertisement. I am addicted to helping myself with my own problems. I don't bother others.
  • Yeah, we really need as much positive input as we can get since there is so much negative in life.





  • I believe self help products are part of of the learning necessities as long as you implement them. But I prefer the free ones :-)
  • I agree 100% to this post, most of us are addicted to self help, there's a lot of difference between just cooking rough ideas and action on those ideas!!!

    For me Action is the most important part towards success, once you have passed the planning phase.
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    • We all have great ideas, it is focus and action or should I say the lack of the aforementioned that allows them to die on the vine.

      To your success,
      Mike
  • I would not say that I am addicted to self-help books. I do read and listen to many, and they have helped me. That said, I am not where I would like to be.

    As for saying the creators of these programmes prey on people - I do not agree. There is a need for these programmes and they are just fulfilling that need.

    In my opinion the problem is people find it hard to get out of their comfort zones and therefore do not take the action to benefit fully from these progammes.


    Take The Bite Out Of The Coming Tax Increase
    • [1] reply
    • I agree totally. It's having the desire to want to do something for yourself. Some people do just take the books and meetings and do nothing with it - that's their choice.

      Sometimes you need motivation to get you out of bed and get through the day, particularly if you have a job you don't enjoy, for example. So for some, reading positive books really does help keep them focused on what they really want out of life.

      I've been reading positive books for years, and it has definitely given me a more positive outlook on life, without a doube. I'm not always 100% positive, but it definitely does help.
  • Knowledge is Power, without Power, you are not going to acheive any where near your potential.

    On the other hand, people who spend their time just learning and accumulating knowledge, and never implement it, put it into action, are no better off then the person who has not better themselves.

    Bryan
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    Are you addicted to self-help?!

    What if I told you that all self-help products and biz plans are preying on you and they want you to stay just where you are. You would probably tell me I'm crazy but, am I? Now I'm not saying that these products are junk, quite the opposite, most have very good information and can be helpful but they are not the end all and be all. These books, mp3's and videos become like a drug and they can be just as debilitating as crack. You see we are a society of quick fixes and these two industries know that all too well. I have found that many clients do not use these tools to their fullest potential. Allow me to illustrate, let's say you have just purchased a '69 camaro, the car was a great deal but needs a ton of work. Thing is you have always wanted an old camaro, problem being your experience working on a car ends at putting gas in it. So, you get every book you can find on the subject and proceed to soak up all the knowledge you can. Fast-forward 6 months you have now read every book on the '69 camaro including the complete repair manual, but you have yet to lift a wrench. You are no more of a classic car restoration specialist today than you were 6 months ago, the problem is you have created activity but no action has been taken. There's a huge difference between activity and action. Activity keeps your goal at arms length where as action moves you closer to your objective. So stop and look at your mission and ask yourself "Am I any closer to my goal than I was 6 months ago" and if the answer is "no". I would venture to guess that you are substituting activity for action.