Hey wishing your dad a speedy recovery.

Hi Justin,

I agree that I dont know you from months or years but after having a small talk with you I came to a conclusion that you are really a very great person who really cares to help people. There are other IM'ers who will only help you if you pay them but you are different from them, You really help people without cahrging them for your time or anything.

Now coming to your concern that you have a fear from death, Believe it or not but over 90% people in this world fear from death and it is quite natural.

God gave us a beautifull life and utilizing it is in our hands. As you said about the deaths of your brothers and you stated that you think that your father might have a colone cancer.

First of all go and get yourself as well as your dear one's pass under full checkup of their body because MOney Can return But When a dear ones passes away he doesnt returns.

Now since you fear a lot I would recommend you to wake in the morning at around 5-6AM and MEDITATE at a quite and Green place. Relax your mind and when you are in meditation pose just always think about good things happened with you and try not to remember any bad points of life. Feel that you are at a very positive person and just imagine things you want.

NEVER-EVER IMAGINE OF THINGS WHICH YOU DONT WANT !!

Just my personal opinion !!

Godspeed upon you buddy, thanks for sharing. Fear of death can be encompassing sometimes... It would be good to seek out some guidance from people who are well versed on the subject... try David R. Hawkins MD, PhD.

I can definitely relate, but I can never know how other people are feeling. I lost my brother earlier this year and it was totally unexpected and devastating. I lost my aunt shortly before that to cancer.

I'm definitely here for you Justin and wish nothing but peace on you heart right now, becuz you're right. Today is a beautiful day.

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I think everyone is a little afraid of death. I'll even admit to having a bit of an aversion to the idea of one day dying, but I'm trying to work on it. What's the point of being fearful of something that's inevitable? Death is something everyone will experience. Just like life is something everyone is currently experiencing.

As of late, I've been actually contemplating the thought of death. At first, I thought that such meditations would be rather depressing, but the result has been quite the opposite.

If you want, try these meditations:


Short contemplation on death:
youtube.com/watch?v=0viEVUMU0L4

Detailed contemplation of death:
youtube.com/watch?v=V4j5RJfu5X0
These are from Buddhist sources, but every religion has their own way of doing this.

You don't say what you fear about death. Does your loved ones leaving this world distress you beyond normal loss (it is part of life after all)? Do you fear losing others or dying yourself? Do you fear the unknowns of death? Do you fear being alone?

That is a beautiful picture of your family. You look like a nice bunch.

Justin,

I sometimes fear death also, as I get older I see more and more people getting very sick and dying. It is part of life. But I want to tell you 2 things. Christians believe in life after death of the physical body and that they will see their family/friends again in heaven. And God can perform miracles, he can heal people who are dying and have no more options for treatment. The beauty about being a Christian is that life doesn't end when we die.

So you can pray for your father and anyone else who you know that is sick and ask God to heal them, he may not but then again he may. And also you can be assured you will see them again in heaven and they are in a better place than where we are.

Hey Justin,

Wow. Pretty open there. I like it. I have to tell you something, I only fear death for what I may leave unfinished behind (2nd) behind those closest to me dying being the 1st fear of death I have. My sister died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a burst brain aneurysm in 2009. I was totally devastated. I knew pretty quickly that 'most' of the pain I was feeling was from guilt. Guilt from not getting my sh*t together and going home and spending time with her. For all the wonderful plans I had once I got everything going, all for naught. Though suicide would never be an option, I wanted to give up on just about everything. I didn't come to terms with her death until this year, about 2 full years later. And just two weeks ago, my sons very best friend (they were like brothers) was killed in a freak accident we still aren't sure of on all the details. Him and his girlfriend just bought a house in January, and got married in June. 3 months later, he's gone. She's devastated as is my son.

I guess my message is this. Spend all the time you can with those you love, not fearing they may die someday, because we're all going to die. Nothing we can do about it. All we can do is make the most of what we have here and now, stay connected, don't fight over anything if at all possible, and create those memories that will live on forever. This is what I didn't do, and I regret it deeply to this day. I'm going to check out the video now and perhaps come back with some more comments. Best of luck to you and your Dad.

Chris Garvey

Thanks for the link Justin via Skype. I just read your post, and I can relate a lot to how you've been feeling. I used to suffer very from dyslexia from a young age, since I was at high school I used to have a very self destructive attitude, I had this attitude where I'd argue a lot and I always through I'd never amount to anything.

Now I'm a changed person, you can either accept defeat or you can start fighting back. There's a lot of things that want to drag you down in life, and you can either accept it or you can start to fight back and show life that you are the one in charge.

One thing I have learned in life, is happiness is the most important thing in life and friends and family are so important.

I always find these quotes motivational.



You want something. Go get it. Period. - YouTube

I don't want to get to new Age here but, in my opinion, I don't think people really die. They pass away in the physical working, but consciousness continues to live on in the universe.

While I really didn't have time to read through all the posts...

EDIT: O.K. I made the time, after all this is a topic I believe; we all want to gain a greater understanding over.

*The Steve Jobs quote shows his brilliance!

I actually don't fear death nearly 1/2 as much as not living life to the fullest, or living just to survive as so many (myself included) appear to be, in this quest for freedom.

Yet, through a series of internal, external, spiritual, and meditative explorations concerning this life, subject matters such as; spirituality, meditation, and a deep passion for science, psychology, human behavioral patterns, and a wide range of philosophies keeps me going in the journey to obtain a greater understanding.

In that regard, I do not fear death for me personally, as opposed to leaving unexpectedly, and either hurting the ones I love, or especially not finishing my work, by which I hope they will be survived by, and I will be remembered by.

As a 'wannabe' writer of sort, I always admired how people's passions live on through writing, artwork, music, etc... and somehow it influences change from beyond the grave. That would be a small portion of my interpretation of reaching human immortality.

I mean really, we're all going to die in the physical sense, sooner or later, why fear it?

For Heaven's sake at this point, I almost feel we should embrace it. Not on a Jim Jones level, or anything of a religious fanaticism, or the likes, but my best friend died at 17 in a car crash. I often reflect on all the hardships, the pain, the scars, and the trials and tribulation living delivers from birth to death, and man, I think he was the fortunate one.

While, I hold no reservation for suicide or self-destructive theories (anymore), I believe we possess the ability to "Tap Into" a higher intelligence. Call it God, Alien, Astral traveling, or just an open admission; we really don't know; now do we?

Probability has it, we'd argue it if we could know.

While I'll reserve my beliefs as to that mysterious force within us, and what happens with it upon death; science has proved at the very moment of death, something like 1-3 pounds instantly vacates out of our exoskeletal vessels, and goes where?

...can't really say for sure, but I'm guessing the energy gets recycled or continues on somehow.

None the less, I am deathly afraid of failure, the dentist, and the obvious loss of values, virtues, principles, and our civility slowly being lost at the expense of ignorance and greed.

In the end, I believe we are all being groomed for something greater.

All the Best,

Art

PS- Sylviad, I too have had a near brush with death experience (self-induced) early on in my teens some 24 years ago, and only recall 4 tall figures standing over me, right before I was revived. And, Yes, it was drug-overdose for those who maybe wondering, and wasn't exactly the plan at the time.

After months in rcovery and rehab as a teen, I was taught meditation, and there is no greater high!

Best of luck, mate.

Just pray for the recovery of your Dad buddy!

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There is a old saying:

"I'm afraid that I might not wake up on a bed made out of diamonds."
-Approximate Quote From MTV Riff Raff (Diamond Child is the song that the lyrics were rapped it.)

That is all.

I am scared that I am going to die and my two year old son will never get to know me.

I am scared that I am going to die and my wife will struggle to raise him on her own without me.

I am scared that I am going to die and my family will lose everything since I am the main income producer and I have yet to save much for the future being 29 years of age.

When I think of death, those are my fears.

I have never shared these fears with anyone before but felt compelled to here.

What I do when I have these fears is I acknowledge them, accept them and then release them. I turn those thoughts into my motivation to work harder or to enjoy my time with my family more. I use those thoughts as my wake up call that I need to seize the moment no matter how small or insignificant that it may seem. In the end, my fear is my driving force to live life to the fullest.

I wish you all the best in your journeys.

I am grateful that you have posted thread. I am sure that it will help a lot of people with a touchy and very personal type of issue.

I send my prayers to your family. Wishing you much love, peace, happiness and health!

My mom used to literally cry herself to sleep at nights in fear of dying. For no real reason - there was no death around us, she was not sick at the time... she was just that scared of dying.

A few years ago she had surgery for a blood clot in her lung, which led to more complications and more surgeries - she ended up with a very large incision along the lower part of her abdomen.

To make the situation even better, she had a psychopath husband who was threatening her while she was in hospital - we spoke to the doctors and managed to have her discharged.

This was on Christmas Eve. She was in her bedroom sleeping while I was in another room in the house watching TV.

I didn't hear anything, but for some reason I decided to go and see if she was alright.. When I opened the door she was lying on her back on the ground with her hands on her lower abdomen and calmly told me to call the ambulance.

Which I did.

After being admitted in hospital for a couple nights a lady came into her room in the hospital and started asking her questions.. Which, after a while, led my mom to ask what the lady was even there for..

The lady simply said, "we come in and help people who have had near death experiences..."

My mom had NO clue she almost died. What had happened was she got up to go to the washroom - fainted, and the incision in her stomach had ripped open... and apparently since that event she has completely come to terms with dying.

Apparently it was the most peaceful and relaxing moment in her life.

When you consider it - the only sure thing that happens in life.. is death. Thanks to evolution - its probably been made into a pretty painless experience.

Maybe you should fear the next time you get up and go to the washroom in the middle of night.. and stub your toe... Cause your body sure as heck hasn't made that experience any better!!

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Dear Justin,

I'm sorry for your father's illness, and for all of your losses. Beyond the grief, each loss chains into earlier losses, amplifies everything you're feeling, and can really, really debilitate you.

My mother, father, brother, and sister are gone - my sister died a year ago in June. I am the last remaining member of my immediate family. When my sister died, even though I was mourning her and trying to process her difficult illness, I started to think I was next, and was fearful of dying.

Today the fear of dying isn't foremost in my mind. I wondered why all of my immediate family had to die (at relatively young ages - mother & father in 50s, brother 43, sister 61. (I'm in my 50s). And I'm doing OK. I miss them, and I put one foot in front of the other to get through the day, and I'm doing OK - a far cry from 16 months ago when my sister died.

Loss is painful. There can be times when it seems like it never ends. It gets better. I promise you this.

I've come to the conclusion, for myself and the loss of my family members, that the "why" doesn't matter, I can't change it, so I don't torment myself about it. I can do is to be the best me that I can be, love and appreciate the people in my life, and try to think kindly of my dearly departed, and hope they forgive me when unkind thoughts rear their ugly heads.

I wish you Godspeed, healing, a long life, and a happy life, regardless how long. Be good to your father, support him through this transition. You will never regret it. I send good thoughts your way.

Joan

I know I will probably catch some hell, but everybody has to die sometime. Just try to live your life to the fullest, dont have any regrets. Its better to try and fail than never try and wonder what might have been..

Live each day like it could be your last, because trust me, it could. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. As for the "after-life" LOL don't get me started..

I might not believe in "god" but I DO believe in karma. You get what you put in.. What goes around comes around.. ya know?

I just try to do good things and help people when I can. Even if I dont know them.

Sorry to hear about all the problems, but I have also experienced these things. My cousin hung himself just 2 years ago. My grandma died this year. My grandpa is sure to follow soon, since he has basically been holding on to life just to care for my grandma..

So ya.. nothing we can do but remember the good times we had..

Life goes on.

Justin,
I'm not sure of your personal beliefs, but wanted to share a thought from the Bible hoping it would be of some benefit to you.

It comes from John 11. This is where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. Jesus, knowing good and well what he was going to do, was nevertheless emotional. In fact it's one of the only three places in scripture it says he wept.

My point in all this is twofold:

1-I personally believe with all my heart that physical death is not the end, and there is a bigger picture to our existence beyond what we see.

2-Even having faith in that, it is still important to realize the sorrows of the here and now, to share in the pain of others and help give and receive comfort.

I'll say a prayer for you and your family. Wish you all the best bro.

When I think about all my love for The World and my love for my Family, I feel at peace about dying.

Steve Pavlina (StevePavlina.com) said that a Man should share his love with the World otherwise “death” will haunt him.

I'm not sure if I've shared all my love with The World however for some reason I'm not afraid of death - even if it means that I'll “disappear.”

I agree 100% - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if less than half the population believes it. I guess we'll all find out one day.

To everyone whom has commented on this thread so far. Thank you all for being so great. It's nice to have others that are there by my side. Even if it is in a virtual world. You are all amazing people and never forget that.

I do want to note that I did go through some trouble the other day.

I was playing racquetball with a friend, when all of a sudden I had this extreme migrane, it came out of no where and even though I thought I was running, my friend told me I wasn't even moving. It was quite scary, so I went out and sat down for about 5 minutes. Then I grabbed a drink of water, came back, played half way through a match and then had to run to the bathroom.

When I got to the bathroom it hurt.. (not to be too descriptive). I told my friend, mom, dad, other friends, and everyone else and they think I might have kidney stones or a bladder infection. So I plan on going to patient first (hospital) tomorrow to get a quick checkup. I'm really hoping that I am alright, but just to be on the safe side I have been drinking a lot of water, cranberry juice, and grapefruit juice.

To make matters worse one of my friends (friends), passed away a few days ago from tripping over a glass table and cutting an artery.

I do accept that fact that we all die at one point in our lives, but it's still a bit haunting to think that it could be right around the corner.

I wish everyone the best of health. Just remember.. do what makes you happy. If you aren't happy, change something. You might not have another chance.

It's not really death you are afraid off, what you are really afraid of is the unknown.

As the good bard (William Shakespeare) said:

The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all

Save for a few that have died and come back to life, we don't really know what is going on over the fence after -we have shuffled off this mortal coil (yup Willy again )
And most of them speak of a place of unimaginable love, beauty and peace, pure joy is what most describe.
I know for myself that when I have Out of Body Experiences at night, it is a wild an awesome place outside the body and more importantly, there is life outside the body.

Let me ask you this, what if after death we have the best experience we could ever imagine? would death be a bad proposition?

Me personally, since death is a certain thing for all, I am not too concern of when it's going to happen, it will come when I'm done with life, the present is all I care about because it's the only real perception, the rest is a hallucination of the mind.

Don't concern yourself with death, occupy yourself with life.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened in your family Justin. I can't blame you if you feel afraid of death. But keep in mind that fear has nothing to do you anything good. Be grateful that you're still have the chance to be with your friends and love ones. Just enjoy and live your life to the fullest.

Again thank you all for being so nice.

I am heading to my dads today to make sure he is doing well and to spend some time with him I'll probably take him out to lunch. Great thing about working online is the fact that I can actually do that for once...

Quote (forgotten source): What you focus on EXPANDS.

So, change the focus.

Fear is a Faith killer. Please do not let that happen to you.

I know we are all just human beings, but that is not the whole truth. In fact we are all spiritual beings inside a human body.

I live for the day in Revealtions 20. If my body dies before that time, I still know I will be able to see and be what God wants me to see and be.

Regards to your father.

Great video.

I'm sorry to hear all these bad things that have happened to your family, but in life there are ups and downs to live it fully.

Thanks for sharing your experience.