"It's NEVER about you!"

One of the biggest obstacles people have towards generating real wealth is taking things too personally. If often shows up in the form of procrastinating (i.e. "I'm afraid of what they think of me, so I don't want to do it") or if you take action it can manifest in the form of self-rejection after an undesired result ("What's wrong with me? Why did I say that? How could I be so stupid?")

If you are concerned about what others think of you, then you are basically turning yourself into a victim. It is a way of saying your happiness depends on their acceptance of your ideas. This is positioning yourself to be at their mercy.

You are subconsciously saying, "I need your approval or else I am a failure" (or something along those lines).

This is not that much different from being in a co-dependent relationship where you feel helpless if the other person doesn't fulfill your needs.

The truth is, only you can fulfill your own happiness, and this applies to business as well.

If you are in a business deal that goes sour, realize that what they think of you or your deal has NOTHING to do with you, at all. It is only their perception of you!

Even if you said all the perfect words with the most convincing and compelling reasons, if they can't see the real benefit of working with you, then that is quite literally their problem. They cannot see the forest for the trees. And that alone should tell you that he or she isn't someone you want to work with. So it's never about you.

If you get a ton of rejections, it's still not about you. If you take it personally, you are actually rejecting yourself and that's where the real harm is. What they think or say about you has no power over you unless you choose to buy into it. Notice, I said "choose"! (However, I am not suggesting you do not improve the way you communicate as communication skills are very important!)

Another Perspective

Perhaps this isn't anything new, but have you considered the possibility that if everyone is taking things personally and thereby thinking, "It's all about me"), then it's NEVER about you. Why? Because nearly everyone is running around thinking, "It's all about me, me, me". So if they all think that, then it's not about you! Thus whatever opinion they have whether it's good or not, is literally their own egos.

So if someone 'rejects' you, they are actually rejecting something about themselves that they see in you because again it's about them! They basically have a certain made up standard in their minds about what is 'right' and if you don't meet that artificial standard, then they 'reject' you.

However, since it is a made up standard, they are rejecting something about themselves and expressing it as disapproval in the form of rejection. How do we know? Because when you judge someone, you must first feel the disapproving feeling INSIDE of you before it is ever expressed verbally, and this often happens in a split second.

Here's a quick experiment: Think of someone you ABSOLUTELY love like an animal or a child. Got it? Do you notice you feel the love inside of you towards the animal or child? That love is first felt within before it is expressed verbally. The same is true for rejection.

Likewise, if the people around you are telling you that you won't succeed in business, that is THEIR ego getting riled up by their uncomfortable thought of you failing. That is literally them entertaining thoughts of limitation and they can't see what you see: Opportunities for success. They are literally stuck in their limitation and no amount of convincing will get them out of it unless they choose to open up. So forget about trying to be right, because then you're just playing into their trap. Again, they cannot see the forest for the trees!

So it's important that you do not let their thoughts influence you by not taking it personally. And if you entertain thoughts of failure, here's something to really ponder: Where did such thinking come from? Is it truly yours, or were you conditioned over time?

Do babies come into the world thinking, "I'm a failure"? Of course not! So even your limiting thoughts that you entertain are not about you because they originated from someone else! Remember, it's about them, and therefore it's never about you!

What You Can Do

Realize that you will be facing such opinions and see them not as something you have to buy into. Rather, see these opinions as a TEST of your commitment to success, because that is what they are.

Are you truly willing to experience realizing your goals? If so, then do not take ANYTHING they say or do personally, but learn from your mistakes and progress forward. Allow them to say whatever they want without buying into their 'trap'. Realize that they are just saying a bunch of sounds. If you heard someone cursing at you in Swahili and you didn't know it, would you take it personally? It's just a bunch of sounds that need not be taken seriously. Similarly, what other people think of you is just a bunch of sounds that they utter for their sake and has nothing to do with you.

It's all one big test to see if you are fully committed. For this very reason, you never have to take their opinions personally. It's NEVER about you.