Is This A Quandary For You?

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I listen to You Tube text stories read out by various people or real life family drama's and these are supposed to be true.

A husband and wife both work. She becomes pregnant and gives birth to twins. Since she earns 150k a year and the husband only earns 30k. When he asks who would look after the babies she says, give up your job because you earn only 30k and I earn 150k, We can save up money for theirs and our future that way. The husband does not want to be a nearly full time father to the kids or give up his job, even though he got on well with the babies and helped out. The row about it comes to a head and he slaps her across the face (never done it before) and walks out. The whole conversation was recorded on the baby monitor including the slap.

His wife calls her father, an ex seal and he arrives at the doorstep with the police. The husband gets arrested and jailed for 3 months for that one slap. During the court case it comes out that he had one previous conviction years ago where a bar fight broke out, obviously fueled by drink where the husband hospitalized a guy for a month. During his time in prison his wife divorces him.

What do you think about that. Is their anything you think the husband could have suggested to alleviate or provide a solution rather than repeat a one off violent outburst in his past.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    It is what I dislike about YouTube and social media in general.


    I think stories are distorted and exaggerated to make them conform to the 'shock' factor. The time to decide who is the stay-at-home parent is before you have kids. Simple solution would be for both parents to work and use his income to hire a nanny or pay for day care. Do I believe this story - not really. The story isn't written to find a solution - but to generate controversy.

    I've been surprised at how often I see repeated stories in the 'news' taken from the whining 'am I the a**hole' site where people go to tell strangers about personal issues.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    He should've just manned up and taken care of the kids. If he wanted to be the "breadwinner," he should've sought out a career that paid better.

    And then he hits his wife? No sympathy here.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

    His wife calls her father, an ex seal and he arrives at the doorstep with the police. The husband gets arrested and jailed for 3 months for that one slap.
    A man that slaps his wife once will do it again.

    That's assault, and deserves jail time. And she was smart to leave his loser ass.

    Personally, I think her father showed restraint.


    And...I never believe any of these stories. They are always written by either the antagonist (trying to make themselves look sympathetic), or the victim.....

    Or just made up.

    We never get the clear picture of what happened.
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    First let me say that there was an end to this story that I omitted to mention (apologies). The woman's parents offered to take care of the twins while she worked so she obviously never gave it another thought as to childcare or a daytime nanny to look after them.

    I will say first though that their is no excuse for violence of any kind like that. One slap and your out.

    If the husband was up till then a reformed character though. It's possible his upbringing first affected him, parents with old fashioned ways of instilling the thought that traditionally, he should be the breadwinner. But he had a job of some sort which gave him some semblance of self worth and that he was contributing, So when he was told to give up his job and look after the kids and be a house husband full time. It pushed his indoctrinated values over the edge. He lost control. He felt totally inadequate.

    My ex wife earned double what I did, but it never bothered me, roof over the head and a relationship, I was happy, at least for two thirds of our time together. I think it bothered her though, she may have had it instilled that the man should be the breadwinner.

    The husband should of as Kay said, said look, you earn 150k, I earn 30k, that's 180k per year, more than enough to afford a daytime nanny or afford daycare and still have money left over to save. Not just feel totally trapped and backed into a corner, and lash out. She might of agreed.

    But he did not, lost it and did the slap thing, now his life is ruined, lost his job and marriage ended and may never be a part of his kids life. Very sad state of affairs. can I sympathize with the husband, perhaps just a tiny bit, she never thought to air that solution in any shape of form when it was an obvious compromise/solution.

    But, will say again, the violence was inexcusable and punishment was required.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    The story looks made up. The second the cops arrested the guy on the domestic violence charge. The prior record would have been known to the police.

    This is just fiction written to get a certain opinion from the reader.

    If any of this happened in the real world before the woman stopped taking birth control to get pregnant. The guy would know he was expected to at least take care of the kids after her maternity leave was over. Then in today s world . She probably is only going to the office three days a week anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    My point was that anyone earning that level of income would probably have enough sense to figure out an easy solution...or a common sense one.



    For nine months they are expecting twins and no one says 'who is going to care for them'? Her Dad is a 'retired navy seal' and needs police backup? Come on - this one doesn't hold water. This story has too many details to be true.
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    So the guy makes like $14.72 an hour and his wife makes almost $73.00 an hour...

    and the guy is like 'Aww hell no I'm not quitting my job'

    Yeah, this story sounds like clickbait. How is this even interesting?

    It's like those sponsored ads you see with some major curiosity-causing headline...then you click on it and you have to scroll for 50 pages to get the full story while ad after ad pops up...or you click on it and it's short paragraphs and you need to keep clicking next.

    Now, if I see a clickbait headline that looks interesting, I just google the headline and get the real story
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    have to scroll for 50 pages

    I always wonder how hard it must be to keep writing paragraphs that say nothing....
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      I always wonder how hard it must be to keep writing paragraphs that say nothing....
      You've obviously never read my posts.

      Where is Shane, by the way? I kind of miss him.
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      • Profile picture of the author discrat
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Where is Shane, by the way? I kind of miss him.
        Yes, just not the same around here without him
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        Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        You've obviously never read my posts.

        Where is Shane, by the way? I kind of miss him.
        I will call him, hang on a minute.

        Shane!!
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  • Profile picture of the author kamagradubai uae
    It's a tragic situation where communication failed, leading to an unjust escalation. Seeking counseling might have helped resolve the conflict.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    I will call him, hang on a minute.

    Shane!!

    He's been on the forum - I don't think he's speaking to you right now. Or maybe he's not speaking to any of us.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      He's been on the forum - I don't think he's speaking to you right now. Or maybe he's not speaking to any of us.
      I don't recall anything I have or any of you have said recently that would anger him, though I have mocked some of his ideas in the past, but he has always been a thick skinned kind of guy.
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      • Profile picture of the author discrat
        You all did pick on him (in some instances rightfully so ) but as Mark said he was never thin skinned in taking it.
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        Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          You all did pick on him (in some instances rightfully so ) but as Mark said he was never thin skinned in taking it.
          Yeah, but when he revealed that their were five different species of aliens living on Mars a few years back you just got to say something. Lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Best stories on the plannit persist in litchrichah from kinda historic whenevah till'n now.

    Most stuffs on ScrewUtoob are amygdalah foddah, an' genuinely naht worth yr intrest.
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