I'VE DEVELOPED A COUPLE SCRIPTS, WHICH IS BETTER?

The positive is they are short and sweet, that is good.

The negative is i don't think either one will work well.

* saying "over 600 manufacturing companies" puts a number on your success.
In most cases that should be avoided.

* Saying "let my" can make them think your the boss, or you have a small company.
that doesn't fit with the "over 600"
you HAVE to keep things congruent.

* saying the words "Incentive information" feels like a really crappy come on.
so does "stop by and share"

* In the appointment world its usually best to ask for the appointment today,
and use " any other time" as a rebuttal or a compromise.

* " I just have a quick question for you"
That just makes me cringe, and it may just be my personal opinion.
As in i don't like it, but i have no "professional reason" to say not to use it.



Now, I am making the assumption ( based off the 600 # ) that you are dealing with a company
that has been around a while.

They have sales literature. They have it prepped for the sales team.

Get your hands on it. As much of it as you can. Most of it you can use to
help qualify the appointment, some you can use as rebuttals.

and you will have in print what the company thinks is its STRONGEST sales points.

you can incorporate them into your appointment setting pitch.

If that doesn't work, get a phone number, call them as a prospect
record it, and you can get the same info.

Edit-

If I were in your position, instead of saying something like 92% I would find out
what the total YTD savings number is and use that. Some thing like this.

We have have helped companies just like you claim 198 Million dollars
in lost tax incentives.

or some such variation, i am not too hip on the legalese when it comes to tax
incentives.

P.S.
I hope i am being helpful and not coming of as rude or worse.
Hope your having a happy holiday

Edit 2 --

at least an hour has passed, maybe two since i posted, i was thinking about my post.
and i realized it has been ... i am not sure exactly; I think it's been 15 years give or take,
since i have set appointments ( and definitely 10 years since i payed to have them set for me ).

Meaning, what i have to say about the subject may be old and out dated, not worth a damn.

I would like to say the "good stuff" never goes out of style...
However since i haven't personally done it in a while I have no direct proof,
so that may just be wishful thinking.

Sorry to say, neither.

When I have a salesperson pitch me on a hypothetical 'If I could...would you....?' I get immediately turned off. That may just be me but I feel like those questions treat me like I'm a child. Of course a salesperson is only going to say that if they've got a way to show it so, to me, it feels like they are taking me for an idiot that is willing to walk right into their pitch with my eyes shut.

Neither, you must take competitive approach such as
My company has partnered with over 600 manufacturing companies in your industry
to discover thousands of dollars in state and local tax incentives that your company may have missed.
I wanted to find out if Tuesday or Wednesday would be better for one of my consultants to stop by and share our findings with you?

There was an episode of Entourage a couple of years ago guest starring Martin Landau and he played an old school show biz agent. The big joke on the show was that he used tired sales phrases like the old "If I could... would you?"
I think that line has to be retired, even though it's still used by car salespeople everywhere.

I realize why you've written the scripts the way you have, but you're trying to include too many devices in one sentence.
I'd suggest a far more direct approach: Introduce yourself. State what you offer. Then ask if they'd like that or not.

"Hello Mr. _________, my name's biz2mob, I'm calling from The Biz2mob Company. I recover government money you may be entitled to. Is this something you'd want to look into?"

Create a short report on what you are trying to sell them entitled something like
"Lost tax money being returned to business owners for development" (that's not a great title but something like that)

Hi there I wonder if you can help me?
(wait for a yes or whatever)
I've been asked to distribute a report about getting business development money from the government. It's a free report, is there a person in your organisation that it would be worth sending to?

Get their name. Send the report then follow up with a phone call to see if they're interested.

Me and my team developed this script today and it works great!
I'm John Doe with ______, wanted to come out next Friday, and just share some incentive and credit information the state has made available to us for 2013. It's a program that goes back about 4 years. Mr ____ wanted to stop by about 3 pm, take about 10 minutes of your time and share with you some current information to at least have on file. Is that ok?


A rebuttal or two and we've been able to get 17/48 to agree to an appointment!
Praise God.

It'll be interesting to see the conversion rate from appointment to sale.

Interesting because the script almost sounds like it's a 'government representative' who will visit and they may not get a great reception when the potential client sees that it isn't.

Please let us in on the results and I may be able to help you put a better script together.