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Showing results 1 to 7 of 7
Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Bart de Koning
Forum: Copywriting 20th August 2012, 10:40 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By CurtisSWN
Re: How's my sales page?

I don't know about your actual plan, but if I didn't know better you're basically giving the visitor one shot to buy your ebook, then they are gone forever.

What if you had a squeeze page...
Forum: Copywriting 19th August 2012, 10:50 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By copyassassin
Re: How's my sales page?

Bart,

Instead of just saying your sales page sucks, which it does, here are a couple of helpful pointers I urge you to consider:

Your Mark
Gordon already mentioned this, but I feel it's worth...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2012, 05:27 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By andrewkar
Re: How's my sales page?

Hi Bart,

1) Get rid of photo (or leave it for later on...)
2) Headline is weak...
3) ...because you don't know who your target is...
4) ... and what they want...
5) No one gives a shit about...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2012, 02:50 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By aroth
Re: How's my sales page?

I'd say your headline and sub-headline needs a lot more punch! It's just bland.

"Crush your fears and live your dream life"

^^^It's too straight-forward, you want to punch up the emotion. Like...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2012, 11:58 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By gjabiz
Not a fan of your page.

Here are some ideas.

TARGET Market.

"The idea of making a presentation in public is the No. 1 fear reported by people in the U.S." according to Dr. Paul Witt.

The fear of performing in...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2012, 09:56 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By SamKane
Re: How's my sales page?

I think the headline needs work. It should reveal a little bit about what the book is about.

Try using what you have in one of your benefits:

BRAIN HACKING:
How To Rewire Your Brain To
Make...
Forum: Copywriting 18th August 2012, 04:11 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 914
Posted By CharismaticMannequin
Re: How's my sales page?

Bart,


some quick improvements I spotted as soon as I jumped on your page:


The BIG one:

You're trying to appeal to everyone. Who is your target market? Who are you trying to sell to? I...
Showing results 1 to 7 of 7

 
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