Does Anyone Get Lonely?

[HeySal]

I have my dog - and right now a roommate, but I am fortunate because my main niche is also my most wild obsession so I meet the members of my site and we do some digs now and again. It really keeps me sane to be able to meet the people with the same interests as I have and enjoy the hobby/business together. I'd have never met most of these people without RHS1. It's awesome. Best of both worlds. I'm getting spoiled.

[Rich Rollend]

I can't really answer that, by the looks of this thread I'm one of the few that still has a day job. But I really would like to find out, instead of having to put up with all the childish backstabbing that goes on at work.(no anger there)

Great Thread:
Rich

[kf]

I agree it's isolating. I also don't stay anywhere for long so the need to stay in touch with people I'm close to by phone, email and chats becomes more important.

One thing that can help is getting out of yourself. There are so many people with circumstances that isolate them. (We're at least choosing the isolation.)

Seniors, shut-ins, children at the sick kid's hospital, dogs or cats at the pound.

Volunteering even once a week to read to a senior, deliver a meal to a shut-in, play a game with a sick kid, walk a dog or pet a cat at the pound will not only make a contribution but it's a blast knowing how excited they are going to be to see you.

Your visit becomes the high-light of their week and you go home happy, knowing you've made a difference in someone else's life and counting your blessings.

[Darth Executor]

I'm very introverted and wish I could get away from the world and just do IM. But I can't (at least not yet).

[Thomas Wilkinson]

Handicapped people are often "socially out of the loop"
anyway so after 20 years I am used to being my own
best friend. I wouldn't give a flyin' rats ass if I never
had to leave the property.

T.W.

[Mike Long]

Like 'X' (Hi Mr. B!) I tend be a little 'split-personality' when it comes to internet marketing and social interaction.

My last job before going full time in IM was as a one-man remote in Northern California for a staffing company in Southern California, so combined I've been working alone for the past 6 years, and working from home for myself for the past 4.

It was great at first because I'm massively anti-social. I like being around people, but strongly dislike talking face to face with people. Because of this I can never quite figure out what the best work environment would be for me.

Living in Las Vegas only makes things worse, as I don't drink, gamble or chase women. If you don't partake in any of those three, there just isn't any reason to leave the house!

As a result, I have been known to go 3-4 days at a time without so much as walking out the front door of my house. (I usually realize this when I finally step outside and am totally blinded by the sun for the first hour.)

Fortunately, I'll be leaving Vegas in the next 3-6 months - likely headed for Portland, OR. Once I do, I have a plan in place to rent office space within walking distance of my house. This will guarantee that I get out of the house each day, get a little exercise, and will be around a number of people while at the same time being able to minimize my interaction with them.

I *think* after all these years, that I may have stumbled onto creating the right environment for myself.

I went through a pretty bad depressive stretch partly as a result of being too isolated while working from home (as 'X' can attest to when I used to bug him incessantly about it via email!) but once I finally recognized the specific problem, that alone solved a large portion of it.

~Mike

[Skribblez]

I dropped out of high school (year 10) to do this all full time, and I feel like this all the time. I do however try to go out as much as possible.

[Vyliss]

I wonder though, can't you still chat with people while you're on the internet? Social and network IM friends online, doesn't that count as interaction? Even if it's not in person, it's still better than nothing at all.

I'm already preparing for this part as I know I'll really miss people being around me and when I go fulltime I'll need to set aside time to do that... which is fine.

I suggest joining a club or starting a class, or try a new social activity where you get to meet people.

It's worse when you're single with no family, so you have to drag yourself out of the house and force to be around other people.

[mario2001]

Originally Posted by Barb Thornback

Just wondering if anyone feels lonely at times working at home on a computer all day long?

Most of the time I feel great, then I have a day when I think 'what am I doing sitting here on my own with just a computer for a friend'!

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

Barb

Actually sometimes i feel lonely too; however, when i feel lonely i
get my laptop and i go somewhere else to work like coffee shop.

That is why i love to work online because i can work from anywhere i
want and any time i want.

Mario

[GrantFreeman]

Yea, I do. I think I need a hug

[Fabian Tan]

One of my most productive periods was when my whole family went for a holiday for 12 days. I decided not to go because at that time my business was not yet taking off, and I wanted to concentrate on building it.

Yes, it was lonely. I subjugated it a little by going down to Starbucks, going down to the library, shopping etc

In that time I got a lot done.

- Launched a new business
- Read 4 books (including The E-Myth and The Four Hour Work Week)
- Created the marketing plan that I use today
- (comtemplated the hell I would go through upon enlisting into National Service)

I also used time to do whatever I wanted to do. Buy a pizza and eat it on your own, watch documentaries etc.

It was one of the most productive periods of my life because there were no distractions.

Fabian

[X]

Hey Mike -

It's great to see you here - it's been a long
time amigo.

Moving to Portland? I really miss living up
there sometimes - great city (if you don't
mind a little rain now and then :-) You
better like coffee, micro-brew and the
Trail Blazers.

Truth is, my most productive times are
when I'm feeling most anti-social - my
wife knows when I'm "in mode" - it's
like Jack Nicholson in the Shining. She
just leaves food by the door.

When I'm feeling nice, happy and
sociable, I get nothing done . . .

X

[bondingmuc]

I feel that the beauty of working on a computer is that you are always working. The time goes by faster because you aren't necessarily depending on interactions that could slow down/extend your work day. Its efficiency in my opinion, leaves more time for social interaction after work (and also provides more motivation to get out and move around).

[Graham Maddison]

I'm lonely now-thats why I am in the WF at the moment. Living on your own in unfamiliar territory sucs.

graham

[surfnowworklater]

I do but only when I'm slackin. Most the time I'm working so hard on multiple things that I'm too busy to be lonely. Or my wife comes home and bugs me. ha

[Terry Brazil]

Sometimes the computer can be a good friend and at the same time a big distraction from life. I cannot resist to check my email, stats, sales, etc.. whenever I get around one.

However my biggest challenge is being at home all of the time. One of my goals is to get an office out of the home. Being around the Wife and kids at time can be a big distraction and quite frankly drives me crazy at times.

Unlike surfnowworklater my wife stays at home and bugs me.

[Suthan M]

It does..Sometimes, after sitting in front of the PC for straight 10-12 hours a couple of days, i feel so damn lonely and miserable.. Normally, i will take a drive out and go enjoy a drink with my friends.

Doing this keeps me energized

[Mark Hendricks]

Hi Barb,

That's normal working as a solo entrepreneur.

That's why it's great to start or join a mastermind group of positive and success
minded people.

Check out facebook and some other social sites to make connections.

Or check out my sig box for a group that includes a lot of training and contact with others.

-- Mark Hendricks

[ItsMoneytime]

I don't get lonely, I guess you could say I get a little restless at times. Usually when I do work on the computer, I'm listening to music. Believe it or not this helps a crap load. You should try it if you dont already

[AffiliateMax]

Yes, I think it's the one major downside of this whole self employment work from home lark.
But then when you look at all the upsides...

I am the type of person who hates being told what to do and hated having to turn up at the same place at the same time every day to do a job I didn't really like for crappy wages.
I would find it very difficult to go and work for someone else now unless it was a really interesting job - most employement is almost a modern form of slavery! Nowadays if it's a nice sunny day and I want the day off I just take the day off and you can't put a price on that.

[jonb]

If I ever get lonely, I just remind myself of what it was like to work in an office, have a boss, have co-workers who sometimes annoyed me and spend long days making money for someone else.

that cures me of my loneliness pretty quick.

[Rho]

I still have a full time job, so I do look forward to some alone time when I am online.

[ShayRockhold]

Originally Posted by GrantFreeman

Yea, I do. I think I need a hug

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))

[Chris Kent]

I don't mind solitude too much. I think people are afraid of it, I know I used to be.

In fact, I love working at 4am knowing that practically everyone else is asleep. I mean, its 2.30am here now and I feel great!

I know people who have never been on holiday on their own. You should try it, it's great! You go out and find new people to meet that you would never have done if you were with friends you already knew.

[Sheila]

Yep! I get lonely sometimes . . .but most of the time I'm happy working by myself. I can get as engrossed as I want in a project and I don't have any interruptions :-) . . . and the nice thing about working for myself is that when I do get lonely, I can go out and do whatever I want, when I want to do it. Ahhh! yes, the short bouts of lonliness are a small price to pay for freedom, aren't they?

[OmarNegron]

Yea...I agree. There are many times when I am lonely and just start thinking to myself.

But then I remember how much I hated to be told what to do by a boss that didn't even know my name...ouch that sucked.

I guess it all comes down to your why which has to be strong to keep you in the game.

[brand-all]

You know, this thread really does open up the question of Mental Health in the industry. Is there really a cause to be concerned? It appears that loneliness which can lead to more severe depression is a common thing amongst this group.

I'm currently working on 3 projects that all revolve around Social Interaction and dovetail together to provide more 'face 2 face' communication. So this question of loneliness is a very interesting, yet disturbing one.

In Faith Popcorn's book "The Popcorn Report" she discussed the trends towards a more 'insular' life. A society that is building walls around itself and cocooning. The scary thing is, she wrote that in 1991!! Have we reached that point and is there no turning back?

So Barb, I hear you, and so does everyone else. Do what people are suggesting and force yourself out for some social medicine. If that is not always possible spend more time in the 'Social Sites' and chat rooms. But best of all, pick up the phone. Talk.

[brand-all]

Originally Posted by ItsMoneytime

I don't get lonely, I guess you could say I get a little restless at times. Usually when I do work on the computer, I'm listening to music. Believe it or not this helps a crap load. You should try it if you dont already

Ah Yes, I forgot to mention music!! The medicine for all ailments.

Someone else mentioned going on holidays alone and meeting new people is very therapeutic and I agree with that too.

I once went to a 3 day blues festival in Byron Bay Australia. I was alone for the 3 days (I thought)!! Within about 4 hours I had a whole group of new friends and had an unbelievable 3 days that I'll never forget.

I also keep in touch with some of those people. So it says a lot about extending yourself beyond your comfort zone. You never know where it can lead you.

[templarjustice]

IMO, I think loneliness (when developing, running & growing your own "online" business) is directly related to how much you are making on a consistent monthly basis. I feel that if you are consistently have found your way & easily generating a minimum of $5,000 to $8,000 per month in net income, then that loneliness will go away.

I consider myself still young, and I aim to work really hard & play really hard as well. I want to head out to the clubs or hit the beach on the weekend. I want to chase hot women & buy things that I want anytime I want. I want to do Spring Break every 3 months. But for me, I won't & can't do that until I'm consistently generating $10,000 per month. That's my motivation.
And yes, right now, things are lonely. I'm learning which is fun learning new things to implement in your business does not make yourself more sociable. But once you start generating the money you want & can get up & leave any day of the week, jump on a plane & go to a seminar or conference....that's the level we all need to get at.
$10,000 per month is the goal. Then after that, $10,000 per day.

[ShayRockhold]

Originally Posted by templarjustice

IMO, I think loneliness (when developing, running & growing your own "online" business) is directly related to how much you are making on a consistent monthly basis. I feel that if you are consistently have found your way & easily generating a minimum of $5,000 to $8,000 per month in net income, then that loneliness will go away.

Really? Money keeps you from being lonely?

What are you going to do? Put googly eyes on stacks of money like in the Geico commercials and talk to them?

The way to make lonliness go away is to be around people.

[googleplex]

The key to not feeling lonely sitting on a computer all day long is to completely remove yourself from the computer in the later hours of the day.

Seriously get out of the house, go visit your friends and family, it will not only help clear your head but you'll be surprised at how much more productive you can be after having a little nightly break.

[Sonni]

All my real jobs have been people jobs and I'm tired of people. So it's good for me I never get lonely I appreciate my alone time. I do go 'out in the world' as I call it when I have to. I go to the gym, church and to the nursing home to see my mom that's it. I have very few friends and rarely talk to people. I'm on the computer 12-14 hours most days writing articles and getting back links.
Sonni

[Trieu]

You can make it better by travelling around with your laptop

[Alice Seba]

Internet Marketing is a means to an end for me. It was a goal to achieve a flexible lifestyle that allowed me to enjoy...well...life. Although, I have had my share of long work stretches in the past, I never work "at the computer all day long". I make sure I have time for family, friends and even just for stuff I like doing on my own.

Sometimes it's tough to find that balance, but if you work for it, it will come.

Alice

[WinsonYeung]

Yes it have this feeling as well. But sometime when I'm outsdie, I will miss my laptop.
It's contradicting i would say

[Mark Hendricks]

This is exactly why I started this social site for IMers...

ISS Social Network - The "watercooler" hangout for Internet Entrepreneurs

And... ISS Social Network (Orlando, FL) - Meetup.com

I hope you'll take a look and join in the activities.

Best,
Mark Hendricks

[Kevin Marshall]

I have only been full-time for a week. So far, I haven't felt lonely at all. I turn on the radio everyday and I feel "connected" to the world listening to music and talk radio.

[sbucciarel]

I worked in offices far too long to miss it. Co-wokers were not my friends. I left them behind at quitting time. Office politics is anything but friendly. I don't miss it.

I work alone and have my 2 dogs with me. When I'm done working and want companionship, I see family and friends.

[Shana_Adam]

I wouldn't say it gets lonely, more frustrating constantly being distracted and interrupted.

Its great to take your work to a library or social place have a few drinks and brainstorm.

Even then people are constantly interrupting you for chats.....

anyone have a deserted island for me?

[Gclunis]

Honestly I don't get that feeling. I think the reason is because I have my social life seperate, and I go out very often either to the gym or to classes or just out on the town. The time i spend working sort of counts as alone time for me so the feeling of loneliness never really happens just because my mind is always occupied wen I am working.

[Kevin J Foy]

I don't feel lonely being at home with the computer. If you do maybe you could chat online with others by instant messenger,facebook chat etc.You could meet some interesting new people and maybe learn some new things too.

[Fraserb]

Hi Barb,

You know I often wonder what we did pre computers and mobiles !

I spend all day on computers but most of it is surrounded by other people - I just haven't got the courage to break free yet.

Yes it can be quite lonely when I'm at home but I try and put that aside and think of all the things that I will benefit from once I get the hang of all this.

The internet is a wonderful, but often dangerous thing and I have to say when my kids ask me to help them with their homework I just google it! Cheating...yes, easier....certainly....bothered? Absolutely not!

Fraser
:-)

[mark z]

Originally Posted by Barb Thornback

Just wondering if anyone feels lonely at times working at home on a computer all day long?

Of course. But that is normal. And one just have to deal with it.
Trick is to occupy yourself with your work and use pauses creatively.
Luckily, working at home has some benefits too. You can pause your work anytime and see loved ones in no time.
Playing with kids gave me great balance to my "static" work and it charges my batteries so fast.
Proven method. It works.

[ramone_johnny]

Sometimes I spend weeks on end just at home, with my only outing being the gym and maybe to the grocery store. It does become quite lonely at times, but then again, Id rather that than having to listen to whingnig bosses and annoying workmates.

[sylviad]

After spending years as a journalist constantly on the go, meeting people, talking with townsfolk and mingling with office staff, I did find working at home rather a lonesome activity at first.

But now, I just love myself so much, I don't like to share me with anyone else.

In the past few weeks, however, I've become a bit stir crazy. My van died last year so that has made me severely housebound. I can walk a few km to get groceries and exercise the dog (and me). If I want to go farther afield, however, I need to catch a bus or a taxi, both of which I find terribly inconvenient.

By the time I walk to the bus stop, I'm half way to the library. If I do hop the bus for that other half (which is a bit too far for me to walk), it takes the circuitous route around the entire town. Not right up Yonge Street where the library is, as I would expect.

My van was my mobile office. It took me on photo shoots, to interviews, to my volunteer work, to my writing club, to fun events, to the gym, to the bookstore (my favorite hangout) and numerous other places.

And so I've endured being housebound for over a year.

Thank goodness for the Warrior Forum and my friend in Niagara Falls who exchanges emails with me on a regular basis.

I'm now plotting how I can get another car - with no money.

Then, I would be able to mingle with people all over the place. AND make the library my office again.

Sylvia

[Ralf Skirr]

I used to work with a business partner in a shared office for years. We spend 12 to 14 hours together each day, 6 or 7 days a week.

After he left the business I went to working from home and for the first few months i got somewhat depressed and didn't even understand why for a while.

I got used to it, but now I like to stay in touch with my assistants via skype. That adds a little bit of communication. And seeing someone at his desk in his home feels almost like sitting next to him.

Ralf

[Imran Naseem]

I don't get lonely.

Let me tell you why.

I go to the gym.

Meet my friends.

Socialise and go out and have fun.

I go to the movies, go for family meals. I interact with my buddies from my old University..

I am constantly meeting "real people" as opposed to sitting on forums all day, putting on weight, piling on the pounds..

Health is important in Internet Marketing.

I make time for IM - from my working hours. I make sure I do not work on weekends..and make have a plan of action.

Why get fat and depressed?

Why stay on the forum 24/7 and remain active when you go out and get fresh air or go for a drive?

IM is just a passion for me - do not make it your life.

[JMB Marketing Group]

It is the Be Careful What You Wish For conundrum!

You work for a company, but hate the commute, your boss, and/or co-workers! So, you wish you were self-employed and worked from home (as that would solve all problems)!

You now work for yourself (and hate it, because you have to go out there and find the work yourself and don't have the contact that you had with your personal colleagues)!

Whatever the cause or reason, you now WORK FROM HOME and have Zero interaction with your colleagues!

Wasn't it what you DREAMED of?

Wasn't it what you WANTED?

NOW that you got it, it wasn't EXACTLY what you thought it was going to be, now was it??

Let me tell you, based from experience and being alienated (by working from home), it's not all that great!!

Once again, think about what you want, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!

The SECRET works in mysterious ways!

You will get what you really want. But in the end, is this/that what you really want?

Think about, try it out and then REALLY WISH what it is that YOU really want!

Trust me, the SECRET really does work!

JMB

P.S. The MONEY Isnt' Everything!

[Goatboy]

Originally Posted by Barb Thornback

Just wondering if anyone feels lonely at times working at home on a computer all day long?

Most of the time I feel great, then I have a day when I think 'what am I doing sitting here on my own with just a computer for a friend'!

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

Barb

I've worked at home since 1992, and the answer to your question is "no". I think in some part it is based on your personality type. Some of us need other people around and some of us are content to sit alone and think. I'm one of the latter and find it difficult to really think clearly when someone else is around.

[mattlaclear]

Wow what a great thread. There's no doubt we socialize far less as a people than we did 20 years ago. I think that's why there is such a mass migration to the social networks like there is. People ae just plain lonely! My wife and I have six kids and I'm always home with them but still I find myself yearning for some other in person socialization. I think we just can't get around the fact that we are all wired for social interaction and unless we get plenty of it we'll get lonesome in no time flat.