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What would you do if you had two goats?
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Make a tasty snack.

    What would you do if you had two canoes?
    Signature

    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      What would you do if you had two canoes?
      Blog about them.

      What would you do if you had two lyrichords?
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      • Profile picture of the author Robert Michael
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        Blog about them.

        What would you do if you had two lyrichords?
        Ponder to myself wtf I was in possession of..

        lol

        What would you do if you only had 2 hours to live?
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        • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Whos That Guru View Post

          What would you do if you only had 2 hours to live?
          Die (after a couple of hours).

          What would you do if you had two hauberks?
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

            What would you do if you had two hauberks?
            Wear one and stuff the other with foam and attack it with a sword.

            What would you do if you had two thumbs on each hand?
            Signature

            Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Teach one to do housework and the other to do lapidary.

    What would you do if you had two cabbages?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two cabbages?
      Start a HeySal fan club.

      What would you do if you had two chooks?
      Signature
      Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        What would you do if you had two chooks?
        Put all the eggs in one basket and sell them.

        What would you do if you had two farrucas?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Buy a dictionary to find out what the hell it is that I have.

    What would you do if you had two crazy lace agates?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two crazy lace agates?
      Sell them to a crystal therapist, or offer them to you to add to your collection.

      What would you do if you had two laccoliths?
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        What would you do if you had two laccoliths?
        Introduce them to two batholiths so they can go on a double date.

        What would you do if you had two tourons?
        Signature
        Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
        So that blind people can hate them as well.
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        • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
          Banned
          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

          What would you do if you had two tourons?
          Give them to my cleaner for her children, probably, rather than risk my own teeth on them.

          What would you do if you had two Tuaregs?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Have a tea party in a field?

    What would you do if you had two procyonidae?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two procyonidae?
      Take them to the dentist to have their Cardassian teeth fixed. No, wait a minute ... their carnassian teeth. Those are the ones. (Or, as Woody Allen once put it: "I couldn't make it, that night: my raccoon had hepatitis").

      What would you do if you had two vendanges?
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post


        What would you do if you had two vendanges?
        Eat. A lot. And sell, too.

        What would you do if you had two Fregoli delusions?
        Signature

        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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        • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
          Banned
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          What would you do if you had two Fregoli delusions?
          Consult Oliver Sacks?

          What would you do if you had two frangipane recipes?
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

            Consult Oliver Sacks?

            What would you do if you had two frangipane recipes?
            Oh easy. I'd give them away -- FAST. I'm allergic to nuts. LOL.

            What would you do with two extra hours of spare time every day?
            Signature

            Sal
            When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
            Beyond the Path

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            • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
              Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

              Oh easy. I'd give them away -- FAST. I'm allergic to nuts. LOL.

              What would you do with two extra hours of spare time every day?
              Google what you and Lexy are talking about to expand my knowledge and vocabulary.
              Oh, I almost have. lol

              What would you do with two thousand dollars?
              Signature

              "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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              • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                Banned
                Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

                What would you do with two thousand dollars?
                Put the car in for a service and then fill it with gas. :p

                What would you do if you had two left feet?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Find a guy with two right ones and dance.

    What would you do if you had two tickets to paradise?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two tickets to paradise?
      Depends. Are the tickets one way or return.

      What would you do if you had two girls for every boy?
      Signature
      Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        What would you do if you had two girls for every boy?
        Hope that 50% of the girls are gay, so that there'd be a perfect dating balance.

        What would you do if you had two decastichs?
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

          What would you do if you had two decastichs?
          Combine them into one twenty line poem. (Score one for Lit 101!)

          What would you do if you had two biremes?
          Signature

          Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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          • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
            Banned
            Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

            What would you do if you had two biremes?
            Advertise them for sale as "potential for an enthusiast to convert into a trireme with a spare reme in reserve".

            What would you do if you had two birettas?
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            • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
              Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

              What would you do if you had two birettas?

              I would wear them as a disguise and sneak into the Vatican and steal their wine.

              What would you do if you had two Biréli Lagrène albums?
              Signature

              Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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              • Profile picture of the author Khemosabi
                Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                What would you do if you had two Biréli Lagrène albums?
                I'd sell them to aspiring gypsies!

                What would you do with two cyclops!???
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                • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                  Banned
                  Originally Posted by Khemosabi View Post

                  What would you do with two cyclops!???
                  Offer them a shared/conjoined optical cortex transplant and explain to them how "binocular vision" works.

                  What would you do if you had two minotaurs?
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                  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                    Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

                    Offer them a shared/conjoined optical cortex transplant and explain to them how "binocular vision" works.

                    What would you do if you had two minotaurs?
                    I would breed them with a cow and see what I came up with!

                    What would you do with two vignette's?

                    Terra
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                    • Profile picture of the author Khemosabi
                      Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                      I would breed them with a cow and see what I came up with!

                      What would you do with two vignette's?

                      Terra
                      Get a couple of shoe boxes and some cotton balls, oh, and some paint. A few other supplies and make myself a theater. A simple sketch and one, very impacting poem, and in one visual scene, describe "the bar".

                      What would you do with two broken shoe strings?
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                      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                        Originally Posted by Khemosabi View Post

                        Get a couple of shoe boxes and some cotton balls, oh, and some paint. A few other supplies and make myself a theater. A simple sketch and one, very impacting poem, and in one visual scene, describe "the bar".

                        What would you do with two broken shoe strings?
                        Tie them around my fingers to remember stuff.

                        What would you do with two hansoms?

                        Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    If I were to own two goats, I would take videos of them and upload them to YouTube, write about them and then sell them, probably.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Michael Ten View Post

      If I were to own two goats, I would take videos of them and upload them to YouTube, write about them and then sell them, probably.

      Michael, you're killing the vibe here, buddy.
      Signature

      Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Drive myself crazy in Arabic.

    What would you do if you had two dipthongs?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Drive myself crazy in Arabic.

      What would you do if you had two dipthongs?
      Look like I was coming on to someone while sliding my tongue.

      What would you do with two melographs?

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        What would you do with two melographs?
        Keep records of a song for two different choirs.

        What would you do if you had two dermatographs?
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        • Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

          Keep records of a song for two different choirs.

          What would you do if you had two dermatographs?
          Trade them for one Spirograph.

          What would you do with two Higgs Bosuns?
          Signature
          Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
          - Jack Trout
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          • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
            Banned
            Originally Posted by joe golfer View Post

            What would you do with two Higgs Bosuns?
            Train them to run round the circuit inside that Hadron Collider in Switzerland and take side-bets on whether each of them will complete the course and/or win before the universe collapses.

            What would you do if you had two Royal Navy bosuns?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Lead the Rats (Republic's Adminstrative Treasoners) out of the US.........will lead them to Iceland. They'll have fun with them there.

    What would you do if you had two Jeopardy's?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two Jeopardy's?
      Find the question to which the answer is "What would you do if you had two Jeopardy's?" (Have never seen it, but have heard of it ... it's something like that, I think, if I have the right one?).

      What would you do if you had two flat shoes ()?
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      • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        Find the question to which the answer is "What would you do if you had two Jeopardy's?" (Have never seen it, but have heard of it ... it's something like that, I think, if I have the right one?).

        What would you do if you had two flat shoes ()?
        I'd store them with the 14 flat shoes I presently own and perhaps wear them when I visit the Queen.

        What would you do with two Macedonians in full battle array?
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        • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
          Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

          I'd store them with the 14 flat shoes I presently own and perhaps wear them when I visit the Queen.

          What would you do with two Macedonians in full battle array?
          I love this "bar".

          If my wish was their command, I'd send them after Kim Jong-Un.
          If not, I'd have the two Royal Navy bosuns take them to Iceland in the two
          Tuaregs.

          What would you do with two Michael Jordans?
          Signature

          "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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          • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
            Banned
            Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

            What would you do with two Michael Jordans?
            Appear in commercials with one of them and have the other coach that nice Mr. Obama on getting the ball through that little hoop thing?

            What would you do if you had two Michael Jacksons?
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            • Profile picture of the author Khemosabi
              Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

              What would you do if you had two Michael Jacksons?
              Take one and plan the comeback tour of a lifetime! (there's a really bad joke in there, sorry), and then take the other one and go find Elvis!

              What would you do with two Great Whites?
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              • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                Originally Posted by Khemosabi View Post


                What would you do with two Great Whites?
                Put them in a cage in the ocean so you could go see them up close and personal, safely.

                What would you do if you had two limitarians?

                Terra
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                • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
                  Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                  Put them in a cage in the ocean so you could go see them up close and personal, safely.

                  What would you do if you had two limitarians?

                  Terra
                  Impose term limits and deport Sean Hannity.

                  What would you do with two Octogenarians?
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                  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

                    What would you do with two Octogenarians?
                    I'd send them over to your house to work on your roof. I figure you could use the help.

                    What would you do with two octomoms?
                    Signature

                    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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                    • Profile picture of the author Khemosabi
                      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                      What would you do with two octomoms?
                      Sign up every kid and their mothers to Dan's lame list! :p

                      What would you do with two glass spiders?
                      Signature


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                      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                        Originally Posted by Khemosabi View Post


                        What would you do with two glass spiders?
                        Oh, this is easy. Stomp them into smithereens just like I do real ones!

                        What would you do with two niblicks?

                        Terra
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                        • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
                          Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                          Oh, this is easy. Stomp them into smithereens just like I do real ones!

                          What would you do with two niblicks?

                          Terra
                          I'd flog the scarecrow that's been following me around until he split.

                          What would you do with two bacchanalian relatives?
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                          • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                            Banned
                            Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

                            What would you do with two bacchanalian relatives?
                            Get them to whistle up all the rest of the family and have a Bacchanalia.

                            What would you do if you had two baculi?
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                            • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
                              Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

                              Get them to whistle up all the rest of the family and have a Bacchanalia.

                              What would you do if you had two baculi?
                              I'd take one in each hand and continue flogging my scarecrow in public.

                              What would you do with two nearsighted, bumble-fingered, left handed accoucheurs?
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                              • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
                                [DELETED]
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                                • Profile picture of the author HeySal
                                  Originally Posted by joseph7384 View Post

                                  Give them some eye glasses and then feed them.

                                  What would you do with a blind duck that had two left feet?
                                  Put him in the bathtub and let him create a jacuzzi effect swimming in circles.

                                  What would you do with 2 Klondike Bars?
                                  Signature

                                  Sal
                                  When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
                                  Beyond the Path

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                                  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                                    Banned
                                    Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

                                    What would you do with 2 Klondike Bars?
                                    Import them into the UK and change their name by deed poll to "Choc Ices".

                                    What would you do if you had two kwarezimal recipes?
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                    • Profile picture of the author David Moore
                      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                      What would you do with two octomoms?
                      I will make a football club consist of those boys, and then make a soccer club for the girl.

                      What would you do with two real live Troll in your living room right now?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Enforce mandatory sterilization.

    Find the question to which the answer is "What would you do if you had two Jeopardy's?" (Have never seen it, but have heard of it ... it's something like that, I think, if I have the right one?).
    Wasn't thinking of TV - was making a play on the phrase "double jeopardy". LOL

    What would you do with a pair o' docs?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Give them away fast. I'm allergic to nuts.

    What would you do if you had 2 Turtle Doves?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had 2 Turtle Doves?
      Start an aviary with the partridge in a pear tree.

      Make it big because they're soon going to be joined by three french hens, four calling birds, six geese a-laying, and seven swans a-swimming.

      What would you do if you had two (sic) much time on your hands?
      Signature
      Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        What would you do if you had two (sic) much time on your hands?
        Curse my spellcheck software for letting these things through (sick).

        What would you do if you had (a tale of) two cities?
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        • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
          Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

          What would you do if you had (a tale of) two cities?
          Have a Dickens of a time.

          What would you do if you had two legs from your hips to the ground?
          Signature
          Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
          So that blind people can hate them as well.
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          • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
            Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

            What would you do if you had two legs from your hips to the ground?
            Walk and walk until I stopped thinking about two octomoms.
            (Please no Kardashians in this thread.)

            What would you do if you had two dolphins?
            Signature

            "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

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            • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
              [DELETED]
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              • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
                Banned
                Originally Posted by joseph7384 View Post

                What would you do with a turtle suffering from separation anxiety.
                Invest in a whole new set of diagnostic criteria/classifications, I think ...

                What would you do if you had two quellios?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I'd put one around my neck and one around my ankles and go to a costume party as an axle.

    What would you do if you had two overlapping spheres?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      What would you do if you had two overlapping spheres?
      Set up a live demonstration of the Banach-Tarski paradox.

      What would you do if you had two pure mathematicians?
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      • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        Set up a live demonstration of the Banach-Tarski paradox.

        What would you do if you had two pure mathematicians?
        I'd send 'em to DC to straighten out the bozo-math crowd.
        What would you do with two Tibetan monks with a propensity for abstract detail?
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Smoke a bowl and eat cheetoes.

    What would you do with two sides of a triangle?
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Smoke a bowl and eat cheetoes.

      What would you do with two sides of a triangle?
      Attach them to two more sides of a triangle to make a diamond.

      What would you do with a Turkish donkey that was raised with chickens.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by joseph7384 View Post

        What would you do with a Turkish donkey that was raised with chickens.
        I'd beat the cluck out of him.

        What would you do with with two baluts?



        P.S.: No donkeys were harmed in the making of this post.
        Signature

        Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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        • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          I'd beat the cluck out of him.

          What would you do with with two baluts?



          P.S.: No donkeys were harmed in the making of this post.
          I would try to sell them to a skate boarding dice throwing Filipino who loves duck eggs.

          What would you do with Roman Tympanum?
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