14 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
14 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Question: Is this Copy any good?

by FrankBowman
12 replies
I am not a copywriter, and i never claimed to be ................so be brutally honest please.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
New Jobs Available Now
Work From Home or Office
Establishing Marketing Millionaire
Shows You How To Do It
For Less Than A Trip To The Movies With Your Kids
And
You Get a 100% 90 Day Money Back Guarantee
No Risk Involved
Limited Time Offer
Visit:
www. xxxxxx.com
NOW Before Time Runs Out
Learn How Thousands of People From Corona to California Are Changing Their Lives For the Better
************************************************** ******
************************************************** ******

Do You Want To Generate A LifeTime of Great Income?
Sure You Do!!!!
But Do You Have What It Takes?
If You Think You Do,
Then This Course Will Teach You EveryThing You Need To Accomplish Your Goal
All For Less Than The Price of Tank Of Gas
Plus an Unheard of 365 Day, No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee
***Go Now To***
www. xyz123. com
You'll Never Succeed Unless You Try


************************************************** ********
************************************************** ********
Make Money Giving Your Opinion
Thousands of People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online
www bbbbbb.com
Learn How You Can Too!!!

************************************************** ************
************************************************** *************


Like said , I hardly ever write copy, so please brutal honesty!! Oh and forget about the spacing thats just how it formatted for the post.

Thanks in advance

Frank
#copy #good #question
  • Profile picture of the author TE2
    You have grammatical errors...
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1368071].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author hhunt
      Originally Posted by TE2 View Post

      You have grammatical errors...
      @TE2. It would have been nice if you pointed out the errors


      @FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.
      Signature
      VOIP Headphones | PC Repair | Swiss Gear Laptop Backpack Driving Test
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371635].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author FrankBowman
        Originally Posted by hhunt View Post

        Why didn't you point out where the error are?
        Your comments are not at all helpful if you ask me.


        @FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.
        Thanks hhunt, appreciate your opinion.

        Peace
        Signature
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371650].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author TE2
        Originally Posted by hhunt View Post

        @TE2. It would have been nice if you pointed out the errors


        @FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.
        For example: "Establishing Marketing Millionaire"should be "Established Marketing Millionaire"
        Signature
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1404339].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author FrankBowman
    Anybody else want to weigh in on my "monstrosity" , aka, my copy from the first post.

    Really need opinions........even if you think its crap.

    thanks and peace
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371569].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MicahF7
    Are you promoting a cpa offer?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371706].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Zach Booker
    What are you using the copy for?

    Zach
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371726].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author FrankBowman
    Its an offline postcard.

    First two are CPA, last one is clickbank.

    I'll be adding graphics and colors.....
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371807].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author daykotah
    Originally Posted by FrankBowman View Post

    I am not a copywriter, and i never claimed to be ................so be brutally honest please.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    New Jobs Available Now
    Work From Home or Office
    Establishing Marketing Millionaire
    Shows You How To Do It
    For Less Than A Trip To The Movies With Your Kids
    And
    You Get a 100% 90 Day Money Back Guarantee
    No Risk Involved
    Limited Time Offer
    Visit:
    www. xxxxxx.com
    NOW Before Time Runs Out
    Learn How Thousands of People From Corona to California Are Changing Their Lives For the Better
    ************************************************** ******
    ************************************************** ******

    Do You Want To Generate A LifeTime of Great Income?
    Sure You Do!!!!
    But Do You Have What It Takes?
    If You Think You Do,
    Then This Course Will Teach You EveryThing You Need To Accomplish Your Goal
    All For Less Than The Price of Tank Of Gas
    Plus an Unheard of 365 Day, No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee
    ***Go Now To***
    www. xyz123. com
    You'll Never Succeed Unless You Try


    ************************************************** ********
    ************************************************** ********
    Make Money Giving Your Opinion
    Thousands of People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online
    www bbbbbb.com
    Learn How You Can Too!!!

    ************************************************** ************
    ************************************************** *************


    Like said , I hardly ever write copy, so please brutal honesty!! Oh and forget about the spacing thats just how it formatted for the post.

    Thanks in advance

    Frank
    Line 1. Is it a real job or a work at home business opportunity?
    Line 3. Established
    Signature
    Denise
    Hijack High Authority Websites
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371833].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author FrankBowman
    Line 1: Work at home
    Line 3: I know, its a first draft
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371848].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author FrankBowman
      I think I should change it to:

      Work at home jobs available now

      I dont wanna be totally dishonest
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1371859].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author It Is Me
        Originally Posted by FrankBowman View Post

        I think I should change it to:

        Work at home jobs available now

        I dont wanna be totally dishonest
        I think this would be nice,if you write,
        NOW YOU CAN EARN FROM HOME
        OR
        NOW YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME

        Make Money Giving Your Opinion
        Thousands of People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online
        www bbbbbb.com
        Learn How You Can Too!!!
        In second line you are telling thousands of people are earning hundreds then it is not much impressive than this
        So Many People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online

        ONLY SOME SUGGESTIONS.
        Signature

        --
        AdRenter.com, AudioVideoGraphics.Com, ChooseHosts.com, CommentSubmitter.com, CommissionGate.com, CustomBacklinks.com, IncredibleLists.com.... Selling On GetTheseDomains.com
        --
        Internet Marketers Need These Products - IMersNeed.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1403291].message }}

Trending Topics