Gary Bencivenga --- I'm not impressed!

If I gave my clients products away like that olive oil offer, I'm pretty sure I'd be beating 9/10 controls too (at least ones actually asking prospects to do something).

Snide quips aside, I can't argue with the guys results. But I do find his pieces lack "flow" and tend to ramble on a lot...to the point where I get lost reading them.

If that happens to me, I can't imagine his average prospect is fairing much better. But maybe they skip right down to his charitable offers.

No, that was one of Gary's clients, not his personal business.

I think giving away samples is a great way to build brand awareness and a good long-run play for getting clients.

But still, if I'm a business, I don't need to pay $xx,000 (plus royalties) to Gary Benicivenga to figure that out.

Anything that makes tons of money impresses me. I don't care if its boring, or not flashy. Its not that it is impressive, its more about the results and money. His skill is where he is able to coincide with the prospects reality. That is the skill you should be looking for.


His salesmanship may not be impressive because it is levels above most people. And hard to grasp with the average mind.


If you want to be a copywriter, you have to be able to match your prospects reality, and not write "What you think is impressive".

"offer at the end is a "free sample bottle" giveaway with no obligation....it's not like he was asking for anything in return."


That is selling without selling. There is no pressure, just giving value. When you are selling something, you have to be aware of the prospects pressure threshold. If you put a little to much pressure on the prospect, then the whole deal is off, even though they are standing right in front of you or still reading. They may have made up their mind about another product.


Yeah they are probably still reading, but have it in there mind that they are going to have to think about it before paying for a bottle up front. So they click off and wait till they get paid next week. Or the prospect is thinking of a polite way to say "shut up and get out of my face so I know you wont try and ask me why I don't want your service"


He is selling a bottle of olive oil. People have to think long and hard before purchasing something like that. That is challenging. Olive oil is located at your nearest grocery store....Try and grasp that...


There is a difference between copy that closes the same day and closes a month from now if they are lucky and still remember.


You have to be super sensitive about taking pressure away from the selling process and put more focus on selling without selling and adding value.


Other than that, welcome to the copywriting forums. You still have a lot to learn. If you are serious about doing this, I suggest actually studying that sales letter until you find sales tactics.


Words of wisdom that you might hold onto. Anything that you think is boring, that's exactly what you should be studying. Anything you don't get is what you should "get".


Its like the guy that is all hyped about wushu rather than doing 1000 straight punches a day.


2000 straight punches a day is more exciting because I understand it. I would be more scared to practice all those flashy moves. Just because I trained myself to do all those flashy moves.



Free samples are the best with anything. The fact that he is relieving pressure off of the prospect is good. He's removing most of the obstacles to do whatever it takes to get the client hooked.


Also to knock an obstacle out of the park, a lengthy discussion is preferred. The more you talk about it and the more detail you get into about it, the more it becomes real inside the prospects mind. It banishes skepticism.

Bencivenga's pen: An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

You've received some pretty decent responses, not just "hate". I guess what you are looking for is for someone to agree with you.

You say you "could point out exactly what you mean" but I doubt you can. Otherwise I don't see the point of this thread or what kind of response you're looking for.

Yeah you're right man. I don't get why his copy has performed so well. He's overrated and writing is choppy. I can't explain why but it just is!

There you go, thread complete .

OK well it doesn't matter what you think

What happens when his client base reads this

And - do you all have some opinion on who his client base would be?

Here's what I am thinking:

Over 60 age range. Owns property. Retired with money to spend. Worried about security, their financial security, personal security, worried about their health, want to find safe food.

I'm guessing he's got a longer-term mindset with this as well. He's paying to connect with people who are willing to spend $40 a month for a subscription olive oil business. These people have other needs which good Gary can address in the future.

I had a similar thought Mark.

A person who has never written a sales letter criticizing Gary B reminds me of a mosquito with an erection floating down the Mississipi river on his back yelling, "Raise the drawbridge!". LOL

Alex

Actually, I was going to point out that this thread seemed a little "trollish," but held my tongue...

O.P. may have started out legit, but began enjoying the attention too much...

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with critiquing the greats, even for a noob... Studies like that can be a learning experience and reveal interesting insights and perspectives. Problem comes when the critique has nothing to do with copywriting principles...

(Disclaimer: I didn't read the critique. No way I'm gonna download something to my precious hard drive that could've been simply pasted into this thread... But still I bet the critique was more about "English Lit" stuff -- grammar and composition -- than copywriting principles... )

So awesome to see Jason, Mal and Caliban posting.

So absolutely sucky that it's in this god awful thread that just won't die.

Please let this stupid thread die. Please?

Well...well...well.

I'm delighted that someone's profiting off my insights.

The blow back from this thread took me by surprise honestly.

As good man Ben Settle pointed out, I broke no law.

But apparently, some fragile egos in these parts couldn't handle the notion that one of their copy gods was *gasp* actually a man.

Anyhow, I take the hate in good stride. You know what they say --- any publicity is good publicity.