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How do I write this?

by TheDigitalProspect
6 replies
Anyone familiar with the helpdesk /customer support or service space?

These are some of the results for people who used a certain helpdesk software. How would you write short and more grabbing copy or ads?

This is to be used in display ads primarily and maybe else where like text ads or headlines or something. But display ads first.

I tried writing copy for display ads that were just very straight forward but I am looking for something different.

Case 1:
RESPONSE TIME
Dropped from 15 Hours to 7 Hours
54% reduction

NO. OF TICKETS RESOLVED
Improved from 1727 to 2557 Tickets
48% improvment

TICKETS RESOLVED ON TIME
Improvement of 20% in 8 months
to 94%



Case 2:

5%
REDUCTION IN AVERAGE RESOLUTION TIME

33%
REDUCTION IN AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME

11%
INCREASE IN FIRST CALL RESOLUTION


Case 3:
FIRST CALL RESOLUTION
Improvement of 21%
to 51%

SLA RESOLUTION
Improvement of 11%
to 95%

RESOLVED TICKETS
Doubled, improving FCR & SLA resolution too
100%
#write
  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    Surely you're not asking (hoping) for your fellow copywriters here to write the copy for you?

    I'm not sure how else to interpret your post.

    Marcia Yudkin
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    Check out Marcia Yudkin's No-Hype Marketing Academy for courses on copywriting, publicity, infomarketing, marketing plans, naming, and branding - not to mention the popular "Marketing for Introverts" course.
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  • Profile picture of the author TheDigitalProspect
    Maybe I should have been clearer. Let me try and rephrase it.

    Here are a few that I wrote. Any feedback would be appreciated.
    1. How to decrease the response time for customer queries by 54%. Find out...
    2. Interested in knowing how to respond to customer queries 33% faster? Click here...
    3. Resolve 48% more issues raised by customers. Find out how...
    4. Find out how to decrease the response time for customer queries by 54%.
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      2 key points are missing...

      1 who it's for

      2 targeted to those who have decided to buy
      but not sure which is right for them.

      Do those two things and you capture those
      who are buyers and you work with their buying decision making process.

      Best,
      Doctor E. Vile
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    It's not clear who you are trying to sell to so it's bit confusing based on that
    fact alone. Are these ads written to get businesses to buy this software?

    -Ray Edwards
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    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author TheDigitalProspect
    The product is aimed at people who are B2B decision makers. Mostly SMBs. The job titles might be - owner, founder, CEO or VP / C-level /Head - customer support or customer service.

    Businesses buy this software to provide customer support to their customers. It is a helpdesk software.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      If what you are doing is using case studies of previous clients to use as a sales presentation to prospective clients....consider using simple tables to show the changes in percentages/numbers.

      Or put it as text rather than repeating "improvement" and "reduction" time after time.

      You want people to SEE the improvements....not have to think about it.
      Signature
      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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      2024 Patriot's Award for Service to Veterans
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