Fresh New Copywriter - looking for USP/site review

by JudyO
8 replies

I just finished both the AWAI Accelerated Copywriting and Health Writing programs and am starting a new career from zero. I've got some background in writing - but different (my article analyzing a setting of Robert Frost's poetry for voice and guitar was just published in Soundboard Magazine).

I'm putting a copywriting site together on my own (with advice on text from a J. Boswell course) and am wondering if this thing is at all professional looking, if my own USP works, etc. Is any of it compelling? I'm committing to health copywriting for a year, but so far my samples are mostly non-health (I will write more) and I think I might hate my bio. Should I just use it anyway? Suggestions?

I figure this is like music ... scary in front of big audiences at first, but with another 5-10 years of training and throwing things out there, l should be established (faster would be better). .

Thanks in advance for any feedback. Harsh is OK. I've studied with some tough professors and I have 4 teens/young adults (can anyone be more direct than a teen?). The site is Copywriting Authority - COPYWRITING AUTHORITY
#copywriter #fresh #new copywriter #personal usp #review #site review request #usp or site
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    A few very quick thoughts:

    I don't know what your USP is.

    I don't get your deck copy.

    You switch from second person to third person from page to page.

    Your headline says "everyday language", the writing in your bio says otherwise.

    Will your clients know and care about your qualifications?

    Your font choices don't combine well. Either go for very similar or very different.

    Andrew Gould

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  • I think you may have "missed" your big USP.

    It's all in your name - "Copywriting Authority"

    I would rewrite the copy showing how and why "Authority" is your secret weapon.

    Here's a few words from the thesaurus that may help.

    power, jurisdiction, command, control, charge, dominance, rule, sovereignty, supremacy

    Most clients wouldn't be too adverse seeing a copywriter who can prove they have these attributes which lets them create exceptional advertising.

    Don't go completely over the top - keep it real.

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    • Profile picture of the author JudyO
      Andrew and Steve,

      Thank you so, so much for taking the time to look at my site and for your helpful comments. I totally rewrote this with new copy.

      Totally different front page copy - trying to go with the authority theme.

      Totally different bio .. hopefully less boring.

      Promising too much? I don't know ... need to become an authority very soon - am up to my eyeballs in FTC lit.

      If anyone wants a hard working newbie to coach or someone to do specs for anything health-related, I welcome offers/advice.


      Copywriting Authority - COPYWRITING AUTHORITY

      P.S. New headline and subhead: Powerful Copy for Health and Wellness
      Get words that command attention and drive response.

      P.P.S. New bio is below in case anyone is feeling extra generous:

      About Me
      Do you remember Sleeper ... the Woody Allen film about 1970’s health food store owner Miles Monroe?

      He has himself frozen and wakes up 200 years in the future ... where steak is healthy and wheat germ is now bad for you. Gluten-free Paleo, anyone?

      I’ve seen the trends ... from Primal Screams to Pilates, from Naura Hayden’s Dynamite Milkshakes to Phosphatidylserine.

      And my story? I was the only kid on the block who used to read Adele Davis books for fun. I spent 1970’s summers at Santa Barbara’s beaches and health food stores. I experimented with fasting ... low-fat vegan ... Paleo ... raw ... cleanses ... juicing ... green smoothies ...

      In the meantime, I kept reading about health and started to write. I mastered research and writing under tough professors who spilled out the red ink ... and used my research skills to help my daughter dominate a deadly disease – naturally.

      Now I’m an AWAI-trained copywriter. I’ve learned from top authorities in the field.

      And I still like to know what’s new and what works ... for superior health and strong copy.

      Let me help you find the words to command the results you want.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
    Any particular reason you chose to target the health and wellness niche when you have minimal samples in that area? You're positioning yourself as an authority figure and clients are going to want to verify that.

    I'd go with general copywriting until you have the portfolio to back up a specialty, especially since you are positioning yourself as an expert. Just my two cents.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by Jennifer Hutson View Post

      Any particular reason you chose to target the health and wellness niche when you have minimal samples in that area?
      As stated in her original post, she took AWAI's Health Writing course.

      Also, read her "About Me" page... she explains it nicely there.

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      • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
        Originally Posted by Alex Cohen View Post

        As stated in her original post, she took AWAI's Health Writing course.

        Also, read her "About Me" page... she explains it nicely there.

        I did read both of those. Unfortunately, it comes across in the writing.

        Saying "Now I’m an AWAI-trained copywriter. I’ve learned from top authorities in the field," screams "I'm a brand new writer!" – it doesn't make you sound like an authority, yourself.

        Which is the point I was trying to make, earlier.

        The word "now" says, "I just became certified." So does the line about learning from top authorities in the field. YOU are supposed to be the authority here, so why should your clients care about who you learned from when you are now the expert, as you claim?

        Do you understand where I'm going?

        You cannot have conflicting copy like this when you're brand new and positioning yourself as an authority.

        Either do the whole "fake it 'til you make it thing" and act like an authority, or do as I suggested and position yourself as a general copywriter until you feel confident enough to be specialized.

        Right now, you're not sounding confident in your stance as an expert and it's really coming through in the writing. Confidence is everything.

        And remember: Clients want to hear about how you're going to help them make more money. They don't care about who you've learned from or what special certifications you have. That's the cold hard truth.

        What are you doing for their bottom line?

        Is your content so good people share it like mad and they get more backlinks, resulting in more sales?

        Is your website copy so spot-on that you make conversion rates' panties drop?

        Why are you different?

        This is what matters.

        If I go and get my law degree from Harvard but can't win a case, do you think any reputable law firm is going to hire me? "But I got my degree from Harvard!" I'll say. Then they'll laugh in my face.

        You get the point.

        Forget about the training you've taken. Mention it in passing, but don't make it the be-all-end-all of your message.

        Sell them on how you're going to grow their business and why they'd be idiots not to hire you.
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  • Profile picture of the author JudyO

    Wow - Thank you!

    From what you're saying, the education/copywriting thing is the same as in music. No one cares if you have a Ph.D.or where you got it if you can't actually play/sing or draw some kind of audience.

    You are absolutely right about the authority/inexperienced conflict.

    What I really want to say is "I'm a brand new copywriter looking for a junior position in which I can do lots of split testing and learn fast to become your greatest asset" I'm not sure how that would go .. on the other hand, I'm really uncomfortable calling myself an authority - as you could tell.

    The domain sounded better than, etc, but it could be misleading - and that could destroy trust.

    The niche came out of a class with Joshua Boswell - He gave us 10 minutes to pick a profitable one and commit for a year. I have a health website Quenching Crohn's | Education and Healing for Crohn's and teach adult ESL health literacy, but most of my background is in music and education (homeschooled for 16 years and teach/tutor ESL). I picked health.

    Actually, almost all of my samples are for education ... hmm... I know the subject, I know people in the business, and there's no FDA to deal with.

    And at this point, the only bottom line could be a really long waiting list at a Montessori School ... hoping for that ...

    I will consider going non-health-specific on the site and saving a strong version of the health copy for later depending on how I proceed. Thanks to earlier comments, my message is clearer than it was.

    In the meantime, my LinkedIn profile says I can look up the facts, find what's unique abut your product, and communicate clearly - not strong, but not conflicted either. I'm not linking it to/publicizing the new site until I've figured it out.

    If anyone want to LinkIn, feel free.
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  • Some thoughts have been cascading through my mind.

    Samples - I never, ever give them out.

    Why is that Steve?

    Because years and years ago I thought I was fiendishly clever by saying to all my clients -

    "Mr/Mrs Client, you very kindly gave me your hard earned money for this epic masterpiece so rightfully it belongs to you, I have © it in your name. I can't use it, show, or "sell" it to anyone else."

    Some clients said they didn't mind if I touted their work to others. But most were very impressed that I wouldn't. And NEW clients are also impressed.

    So the impressed won.

    But Steve what if every new client on the planet demanded samples, you would be f***** wouldn't you?

    Well no, because I would create my own portfolio, with "pretend" ads. What good fun that would be.

    "Before and After" Ads.

    The "before's" would be a dull, lacklustre and rather typical Ads. So generic that any response would be a minute possibility.

    And the "after's" would be alive and brimming with the ultimate in persuasive phrasing ignited with an irresistible offer where the target audience has no choice - they're automatically compelled to respond.

    There would be illuminating notes explaining to the uninitiated why the "changes" were so crucial.

    And how and why they work so astonishingly well.

    (You may agree this would be a touch better than shuffling a pile of papers saying, "Here's a little something I did for the ABC corporation, they were happy" - "Oh this is a website for the XYZ organisation, scroll down and see if you "get" how good it is)

    All in all this stunning - perfectly presented - collection would show and prove the full scope of my copywriting genius.

    The "authority" of my abilities and techniques would be impossible to miss. The clients feel truly enlightening. It would be as if they have just had a masters class in the art and craft of exceptional advertising.

    And are falling over themselves, writing checks saying, "How quickly can you start on our promotions?"



    Calm down now and go and have a cup of coffee (and maybe refill your vaper).



    P.S. A vaper, is like an E cig machine. Clients are also impressed that I don't smell like an ashtray.

    Mind you, we all used to smoke 100 a day (I know you saw them gasping away on MadMen).

    There weren't as many Health Promo's back then.
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