Which of These Two Scripts Do You Prefer?

by Rocketr 2 replies
I have Two Video Animation Scripts.
I want to know which you prefer.

I'd also like to know if you understand what the service is after reading the one you chose; if not why?

Option 1) http://pastebin.com/puEQpRBq
Option 2) http://pastebin.com/sBWQdNqb
#copywriting #prefer #scripts
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author GordonJ
    Originally Posted by Rocketr View Post

    I have Two Video Animation Scripts.
    I want to know which you prefer.

    I'd also like to know if you understand what the service is after reading the one you chose; if not why?

    Option 1) An Out Of This World Experience Made to simplify the way you sell Digital Conte - Pastebin.com
    Option 2) This is John. John is a really friendly fellow and a very good writer! - Pastebin.com
    I suggest you write about it being a complete FULFILLMENT center, a one stop place where you can:

    Sell
    Accept Payment
    Deliver

    The digital product. Which is all great. I see a couple of different promotions, maybe 3 or 4 each targeted to the niche. For example I create reports. If I were new, this might be a good place to get everything done for me (except the writing).

    Consider the Warrior Forum. World Wide. How sweet for someone anywhere to be able to have a solution to their country NOT accepting PayPal. So payment options and DELIVERY OF product, plus the sales page limits the need for a web site set up. Of course, you still have to drive traffic to the page.

    But I could write a report, create the sales page and drive targeted traffic and track my results RIGHT THERE, it is a one stop solution. How appealing is that to NEWBS and beginners?

    Then you have the gamers and the underground and the other people who even know what Netseal is or does. I'd write a separate promotion for them all about secret, private, keep from prying eyes, sort of a thing.

    So, work on getting a better headline, both of these won't cut it. Use these two sentences, edited down to a pithy sentence:

    a simple and innovative platform that enables them to sell their digital content and accept payments online easy, securely and without any hassle.
    a powerful suite of selling, tracking, and marketing your products and services online from a single place.

    Something like Newbs (warrior crowd): Simple One Stop Solution to Get Your Internet Marketing Off the Ground

    Netseal types: Safely and Securely Sell Your Digital Content with No Hassles

    The John and Alison examples can be condensed down. John sells ebooks. Alison sells her translation services. Both can do International business and accept payment from any country.

    I would position this as a FULFILLMENT solution. Sort of like what Kunaki does for physical products.

    Good luck.

    GordonJ

    PS. Of course all this goes out the window, if the video is engaging. I'd get John and Alison on the screen right away, along with a list of digital products. Then, cut to the chase sooner. Keep it simple. Maybe agitate their frustrations having to set up sites, sales pages, payment gateways, even a short before and after type thing.

    OH, probably even more important, where is the traffic coming from to see the video?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11033557].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    Originally Posted by Rocketr View Post

    I have Two Video Animation Scripts.
    I want to know which you prefer.

    I'd also like to know if you understand what the service is after reading the one you chose; if not why?
    As GordonJ already said, it really depends on...

    1 - Where your traffic is coming from, and are they already predispositioned to buy what you're offering.

    And

    2 - what the accompanying video looks like


    But based on just reading the scripts, here's what I got out of them...

    I liked #2 a little bit better because it was telling a story (and who doesn't like a good story, right?) The only down side is it didn't immediately tell me what the benefit of watching would be. So, you might want to have a headline on the video that quickly tells me you're service is going to help me sell my digital products.


    #1 left me a little flat for a couple reasons. It sounds like a lot of "me too" copy that listed features, but left me wondering why you're any different than any of the other guys, selling the same thing.

    Also, at the beginning of #1 you start out by saying
    "Any Product / Any Service / For Anyone / On Anything"

    And that kind of language instantly causes most people's BS filters to engage. Which make the rest of your selling job a whole lot harder.
    Signature
    "It all boils down to psychology, and numbers"
    SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Advertising and Marketing Aficionado
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11035222].message }}
Avatar of Unregistered

Trending Topics