Is this professional or not so much?

29 replies
Hey fellow warriors, I have a "trying not to be a newbie anymore" question for you.

I sometimes get the inspiration to write rhymes/poetry. I have just dabbled in blogging a little bit, after overcoming some personal family crisis and looking to get my niche page up and running, I was wondering if poetry/rhyming is considered unprofessional.

Here, umm, let me give you an example...

Let's say I just opened my own internet store featuring women's fashion accessories. I haven't but maybe some day will...who know's the future?

So just off the cuff let's say I was promoting the grand opening of it somewhere on the net, maybe it's home page...I don't know.. but I rhymed it.. let's see umm, ok

Introducing the Passion for Fashion Boutique

We have women's accessories for every mood and style.
So log in and browse, peruse, and shop for awhile!

We have the accessories you just have to have for your own,
And carry all the items on the site that are shown.

Go ahead and shop at the Passion for Fashion Boutique!

Whether you want to look classy or sassy,
Or would rather go for chic or even geek.

We carry hats & scarves for your head, down to pumps & boots for your feet.
Also belts, purses, blouses, jackets, and jewelry to make your look complete.

Go ahead and shop at the Passion for Fashion Boutique!

If you want to look glamorous for you're feeling amourous,
If you you want to look sexy and fun for that special someone,

If you want to go clubbing or get on the bus for that pub crawl,
Do some line dancing to impress that man with the Texan drawl,

Go ahead and shop at the Passion for Fasion Boutique!

If you want to look business like, yet like a lady,
For that boardroom meeting where some men are shady,

If its black tie and evening gown,
For the charity event held uptown,

Go ahead and shop at the Passion for Fashion Boutique
Where you're guaranteed to have the look that's unique!

Ok, despite it gets a little cheesy, sorry just off the cuff, is this considered unprofessional to write in rhyme?
Thank you in advance for your expertise!

MissTerraK
#professional #rhyming #writing articles
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Go with it! Be yourself. Develop your own personal style. Be different, unique, interesting, cheesy even (but perhaps not often ).

    People like different. I was reading a piece about Enya yesterday. No one makes music like she does, or maybe I should say no one was creating such beautiful music as she does until she started. And now she's the second most successful Irish music act ever. U2 is first. She has a net worth of close to $100 million.

    Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Robin Williams, Tracy Ulman, the list goes on and on. They were all unique.

    Besides, what can it hurt? Go for it. Screw 'em if they don't like it.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      Go with it! Be yourself. Develop your own personal style. Be different, unique, interesting, cheesy even (but perhaps not often ).

      People like different. I was reading a piece about Enya yesterday. No one makes music like she does, or maybe I should say no one was creating such beautiful music as she does until she started. And now she's the second most successful Irish music act ever. U2 is first. She has a net worth of close to $100 million.

      Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Robin Williams, Tracy Ulman, the list goes on and on. They were all unique.

      Besides, what can it hurt? Go for it. Screw 'em if they don't like it.
      As I mentioned in my PM to you, I appreciate your critique and now have the confidence to march on, march forward as a warrior with my head held high! The wheels in my brain are already cranking!

      And you know my sentiments on the " Screw 'em " part

      Thank you so much again, Travlinguy!
      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
    There once was a lady from Michigan
    Who was trying to sell clothes the best she can
    She said with a grin
    As her customers walked in
    If you buy some of my clothes you will get your man.

    Terra,

    The world loves uniqueness. Plain never goes viral.

    The coolest thing about the internet is you can let your personality shine.

    The worst thing you can do is start down a path you don't like just so you can conform. Even if you start making money, just getting out of bed and having to do something that your heart isn't into is worse than having a job working for a boss you hate. At least you can tell the boss to shove it and go off and do something you like.

    If you're already doing something for yourself, and the money starts coming in but your soul is getting empty as fast as your cash register is getting full...you're a failure.

    I say go for it. Become the online personality you are in your offline world. You can always build a 'conventional site' that parallels your 'personal site' if you feel the need to conform. Let both of them make you money. At least that way one of them will be spiritually satisfying.

    And see if you can get Waggers to write a tune for your poem and put the thing to music. Make a video, and let 'er rip.

    It just might surprise you. Well done.

    Bill
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      • Profile picture of the author MikeHumphreys
        Rhyming... sometimes I'll use it to make a phrase more memorable in the sales copy.

        No problem with using it in blog posts or article or similar content either. Sales copy can be a different animal altogether.

        There's nothing wrong with rhythms in your copy... unless there's a more effective way to deliver your benefit or sales point. Then it's more important to hit the reader's hot buttons than to be catchy or cute.

        It's like the difference between using a rhyme to ask your friend for the $20 he owes you VS. getting right to the point and asking him.

        Hope that helps,

        Mike
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by MikeHumphreys View Post

          Rhyming... sometimes I'll use it to make a phrase more memorable in the sales copy.

          No problem with using it in blog posts or article or similar content either. Sales copy can be a different animal altogether.

          There's nothing wrong with rhythms in your copy... unless there's a more effective way to deliver your benefit or sales point. Then it's more important to hit the reader's hot buttons than to be catchy or cute.

          It's like the difference between using a rhyme to ask your friend for the $20 he owes you VS. getting right to the point and asking him.

          Hope that helps,

          Mike
          Thanks for your input, I appreciate it, however, I sometimes cannot help but being cute LOL!

          And as far as my friends are concerned, yes getting to the point works great, however I have some friends that I adore but wouldn't ever want to be on their bad side because I've seen them in action with others, so, a rhyme just might be the ticket!

          Sincerely,
          MissTerraK
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by MarkAndrews IMCopywriting View Post

        Miss TerraK - Nothing wrong with
        breaking convention.

        If it works, go for it!

        Look at this website, this lady is as batty
        as a fruitcake on acid but I'll tell you now
        this website is a huge storming success
        story in the UK, simply because she
        believes passionately in doing things
        differently.

        Put your shades on before visiting this
        website!

        CAR LEASING CHEAP LEASE CARS FOR SALE CONTRACT HIRE VEHICLES CARS TO LEASE

        (Non affiliate link)

        She has hands down beaten near every
        car distributor dealership in the country
        shifting cars for the leading manufacturers.
        They (car dealerships) can't stand her guts
        because she breaks just about every rule
        of convention.

        Ah! ... But she succeeds and succeeds
        exceptionally well. That is the point. In
        other words, she sells the product
        massively!

        Recently named North East Entrepreneur
        of the Year if my memory serves me
        correctly.

        Creating a world of difference is good.

        Just be yourself, it's what makes...

        YOU... so valuable.

        Best of luck!


        Mark Andrews...
        Thank you Mark!
        I hope I'm not as batty as a fruit cake on acid LOL! and I also hope you don't think that I am ROFL, I believe that you don't.

        Thank you for the encouragement, I have just gotten my confidence level boosted quite a bit! I am unconventional and fun and can't imagine being a stuffed shirt, or in my case a stuffed "skirt" LOL
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    • Profile picture of the author SickHippie
      Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

      Plain never goes viral.
      QFT - there is so much cookiecutter crap online these days, I'm always a bit refreshed when I see something different. I'm sure somewhere there's a list of things that make up professional writing, and I'm just as sure that those who make the most money online don't care about that list.

      When I was first working, I worked at a customs brokerage. The dress code was 'business casual'. For 4 months I leaned more towards the business side. It made me so uncomfortable that my focus and drive would go downhill as the day progressed.

      Finally, I gave up on it. I switched from uncomfortable buttondowns to simple polo shirts (organic cotton), from tight dress shoes with slick black socks to "professional looking" skate shoes and white cotton socks, and from black slacks that never seem to fit right to regular khakis.

      I was INSTANTLY more comfortable in myself, and it shone through in my work. Managers commented on the change in output, and I was promoted within a couple months.

      No one EVER commented on the change in my clothes.

      The point is, when you are comfortable and able to be yourself, it will show through in everything you do. If you try to force yourself into someone you are not, that will show through as well.

      Having talked with you a bit outside of this forum, I know that you are a wonderful person. You are charming, excited about life, friendly, outgoing, and don't mind taking time out for people. If you let your true self shine through, people will notice - and it will represent in everything you do!
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        Originally Posted by SickHippie View Post

        QFT - there is so much cookiecutter crap online these days, I'm always a bit refreshed when I see something different. I'm sure somewhere there's a list of things that make up professional writing, and I'm just as sure that those who make the most money online don't care about that list.

        The point is, when you are comfortable and able to be yourself, it will show through in everything you do. If you try to force yourself into someone you are not, that will show through as well.

        Having talked with you a bit outside of this forum, I know that you are a wonderful person. You are charming, excited about life, friendly, outgoing, and don't mind taking time out for people. If you let your true self shine through, people will notice - and it will represent in everything you do!
        Thank you Brian! I appreciate your input and will gladly continue to be me, as you be you! Hopefully one day I will be as successful as you are!

        Oh, off topic, have you heard the new Lynard Skynard album yet? I love the classic stuff but haven't heard any of the new stuff yet! Just curious, as always! :p

        Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

      There once was a lady from Michigan
      Who was trying to sell clothes the best she can
      She said with a grin
      As her customers walked in
      If you buy some of my clothes you will get your man.

      Terra,

      The world loves uniqueness. Plain never goes viral.

      The coolest thing about the internet is you can let your personality shine.

      The worst thing you can do is start down a path you don't like just so you can conform. Even if you start making money, just getting out of bed and having to do something that your heart isn't into is worse than having a job working for a boss you hate. At least you can tell the boss to shove it and go off and do something you like.

      If you're already doing something for yourself, and the money starts coming in but your soul is getting empty as fast as your cash register is getting full...you're a failure.

      I say go for it. Become the online personality you are in your offline world. You can always build a 'conventional site' that parallels your 'personal site' if you feel the need to conform. Let both of them make you money. At least that way one of them will be spiritually satisfying.

      And see if you can get Waggers to write a tune for your poem and put the thing to music. Make a video, and let 'er rip.

      It just might surprise you. Well done.

      Bill
      Thanks for the advice KJ,
      I just might take your advice on the "Waggers" idea, however, I don't know who he is

      As for your rhyming, very cute, too cute for even me, I guess Limericks just aren't my thing unless I'm playin around and I believe you were. If not, oops, excuse my impolitenes, didn't mean to offend :p

      Do except my sincere gratitude on boosting my confidence level though, you are indeed a good friend to have by my side!
      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        I just might take your advice on the "Waggers" idea, however, I don't know who he is
        Au contraire mon ami,

        Waggers aka Steve Wagenheim is a warrior you are familiar with.

        Think OT forum...music...

        Limericks just aren't my thing unless I'm playin around and I believe you were.
        Playing around is what I do...haven't you ever read my WF blog?

        Bill
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Killer Joe View Post

          Au contraire mon ami,

          Waggers aka Steve Wagenheim is a warrior you are familiar with.

          Think OT forum...music...



          Playing around is what I do...haven't you ever read my WF blog?

          Bill
          Oh, how did you get so smart? Yes, Yes, I know him! But the question is does he know me? :p

          And oh yes I have read your blog, that's why I said that, however, with so much antagonistic political ragging and nit picking going on so much, I just tried to cover my bottom! LOL!
          Thanks again Bill!
          Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author TheRichJerksNet
    Terra,
    There is nothing unprofessional about it at all, it is good to be unique and think outside the box - Consumers love that from a company. Many get bored real fast of the same old thing over and over. It is human nature to get excited over something a little different and not the same "marketing messages".

    I love what you have written and think you should do more of it

    James
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by TheRichJerksNet View Post

      Terra,
      There is nothing unprofessional about it at all, it is good to be unique and think outside the box - Consumers love that from a company. Many get bored real fast of the same old thing over and over. It is human nature to get excited over something a little different and not the same "marketing messages".

      I love what you have written and think you should do more of it

      James
      Thank you James!
      I appreciate your input and love that you love my uniqueness! Yeah, I guess I never thought about it but, I never could stay put in a box, I'm to fun and hyper!

      Like you didn't already know right? LOL

      Thanks for your encouragement!
      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
    Bill[/QUOTE]

    Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan View Post

    Rhyme can help if done well.

    I think you did a good job

    I like it
    Thanks Paul! I like that you like it!
    I think I will give it my all as the mood strikes me! I also like your vote of confidence, as it raises my own confidence and when that happens , I can really soar!
    MissTerraK
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  • Profile picture of the author kennethtang
    I love poetry...and a good rhyme. That said, whether or not it would work depends on your audience. Who are they? What do they appreciate? What are their sensibilities? Taste? Self-image?

    Are they Beyonce? Enya? Barbra Streisand? Southern Belle? Paris Hilton? Oprah? Martha Stewart? (types) Sensibilities and "appreciative-ness" among audiences who consider themselves to have "taste" are very subtle. Perhaps a four-line rhyme is perfect but a 30-line rhyming "epic" is overkill and can become annoying -- and make it sound like a chidlren's limerick. Not exactly the sort of image you'd want to project if your audience comprises of sophisticated career amazons.

    I'm not saying to rhyme or not to rhyme. Just saying you need to know what your audience appreciates, what works for them, etc., and that you need to test out different approaches to find out.

    Kenneth
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by kennethtang View Post

      I love poetry...and a good rhyme. That said, whether or not it would work depends on your audience. Who are they? What do they appreciate? What are their sensibilities? Taste? Self-image?

      Are they Beyonce? Enya? Barbra Streisand? Southern Belle? Paris Hilton? Oprah? Martha Stewart? (types) Sensibilities and "appreciative-ness" among audiences who consider themselves to have "taste" are very subtle. Perhaps a four-line rhyme is perfect but a 30-line rhyming "epic" is overkill and can become annoying -- and make it sound like a chidlren's limerick. Not exactly the sort of image you'd want to project if your audience comprises of sophisticated career amazons.

      I'm not saying to rhyme or not to rhyme. Just saying you need to know what your audience appreciates, what works for them, etc., and that you need to test out different approaches to find out.

      Kenneth
      Thank you for your input, I greatly appreciate it! I am not opening a boutique at all, that was just an off the cuff fly by the minute thing. I am actually starting a niche on something totlly different and wouldn't write poetic novels

      That being said, In my niche it wouldn't be all poetry, just some of the articles some of the time!

      However, the point of the make believe boutique was to attract all types of female consumers, not just one type, to perhaps spark some interest to get some visits and go from there!

      I love a great poetry book as well, just keeping it real my fellow co-warrior!
      To our success as always!
      MissTerraK
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  • Profile picture of the author techygirl
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by techygirl View Post

      According to me you have done a good job and I will consider it as a professional work
      Thank you for your input as, coming from another woman, it means much to me!

      And hey, sometimes we women have to take a ride on the wild side right?
      Sincerely,
      MissTerra K
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      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
        Miss Terra, thanks for directing me to this thread.

        To answer your question, turn on the TV and watch all the commercials
        that come with theme songs and lyrics. It's been going on since I can't
        even remember when.

        Think...

        "You deserve a break today...so get up and get away to McDonald's"

        I think Barry Manilow wrote that.

        Having said that, you want it done right. I would hire a professional to
        come up with lyrics and music. I don't feel qualified and I wouldn't want
        the responsibility of possibly screwing up your business with a lousy song.

        But yes, done right...it can be a very powerful too.
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

          Miss Terra, thanks for directing me to this thread.

          To answer your question, turn on the TV and watch all the commercials
          that come with theme songs and lyrics. It's been going on since I can't
          even remember when.

          Think...

          "You deserve a break today...so get up and get away to McDonald's"

          I think Barry Manilow wrote that.

          Having said that, you want it done right. I would hire a professional to
          come up with lyrics and music. I don't feel qualified and I wouldn't want
          the responsibility of possibly screwing up your business with a lousy song.

          But yes, done right...it can be a very powerful too.
          Thank you for your not wanting to screw up my business, I find that very endearing, however, that was just an off the cuff, make believe Fasion site
          MissTerraK
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          • Profile picture of the author lenlatimer
            Poetic devices are often used in copywriting, including alliteration,
            assonance, meter, repetition, simile, etc. Copywriting is about connecting
            to people more than the format. I would think a limited used of rhyming would be OK. However, Jingles are different from copywriting (by the way Manilow sang it but didn't write it. Nor did he write "I Write the Songs" which was by Bruce Johnston).

            The bottom line is test it against non-rhyming and see what happens.
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            Len Latimer
            Copy-In-A-Box, an amazing Word Add-in Tool that adds Dazzle & Personality to your copy. My WSO

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  • Profile picture of the author mark z
    I like it.
    Not sure if it is professional or not. But I like it.
    And that`s all that matters.
    So, be creative and unique and people will respect that.
    Those who won`t ... well, you can`t satisfy all of them anyway.
    It is better to mean something to someone than nothing to everyone
    Keep up the creative work!
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by mark z View Post

      I like it.
      Not sure if it is professional or not. But I like it.
      And that`s all that matters.
      So, be creative and unique and people will respect that.
      Those who won`t ... well, you can`t satisfy all of them anyway.
      It is better to mean something to someone than nothing to everyone
      Keep up the creative work!
      Thanks Mark! And you are absolutley right! You can't satisfy them all and I can say with all honesty, some of them, from posts I've read, can't be satisfied anyway!

      Brings back to mind one of my favorite sayings...I don't care if you love me or hate me me, either way, I'm always on your mind!

      Thank you for your advice, it is well heeded!
      MissTerraK
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  • A sense of humor sells. Not a crass one, not a harsh one, not a mean one, but one that takes things with a smile, assumes the best of the listener, and adds a little quirk. You did just that.
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    It doesn't matter if it's unprofessional, what matters is you pull a profit...

    With that in mind and generally speaking - I reckon - a clean, clear, benefit riddled ad with an irresistible offer will beat the pants off your poetry promo any day of the week.

    Bottom line is small business owners like yourself aught to stick to proven principals if you want to make money. If you expect success by breaking the rules, then know the odds are not in your favor.

    I know this isn't the most popular response, but it's likely to save you the most money and time.

    Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      It doesn't matter if it's unprofessional, what matters is you pull a profit...

      With that in mind and generally speaking - I reckon - a clean, clear, benefit riddled ad with an irresistible offer will beat the pants off your poetry promo any day of the week.

      Bottom line is small business owners like yourself aught to stick to proven principals if you want to make money. If you expect success by breaking the rules, then know the odds are not in your favor.

      I know this isn't the most popular response, but it's likely to save you the most money and time.

      Colm
      LOL! Sorry, please excuse my rudeness, however, number one: This is a make believe business that you refer to as my poetry promo. Perhaps you should be like more like Kim W and thouroughly read each thread before responding.

      Number two, I live to break boring, outdated, old fashioned rules, that's the way I play it! I respect and will fight to the death old principles that stand the test of time such as the ones in The Holy Bible!

      Number three: I'm still a newbie and therefore have not proven any principles at all!

      Number four: You can't beat the pants off me for I wear skirts...just a joke LOL! to lighten the atmosphere.

      Number five: Don't feel your post was not a popular one, for anyone who would take the time to even respond with advice gets an A+ in my book!

      To your sucess as always
      MissterraK
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      • Profile picture of the author myob
        Put it to music and sing it! Having an audio on your website would make it more "sticky". Customers would perhaps hang around if only to just listen to your tunes. And with good choreographic timing effects, products could be featured [fade in, fade out etc] in each verse. Looks like you could be on to something here!
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        “If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” – Isaac Newton
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by myob View Post

          Put it to music and sing it! Having an audio on your website would make it more "sticky". Customers would perhaps hang around if only to just listen to your tunes. And with good choreographic timing effects, products could be featured [fade in, fade out etc] in each verse. Looks like you could be on to something here!
          Actually, I am in the beginning stages of something quite similar, can't give out details yet, as it's a secret! I have some help with this already, can't tell you who, that's a secret too! :p

          Thank you Paul,
          not only are you witty, fun, humorous, and intelligent, you have a keen sense about people!

          That's my MYOB - Gotta luv him!

          MissTerraK
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  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    I assure you I did read your post and am well aware the above is just an example.

    However - as I understand it - you're asking if such an example, in general, is a profitable way to promote a business... To that I am saying no, not as far as I'm aware.

    Of course, I could be wrong. I'm just giving you my opinion based on personal experience (shifting a lot of product) and books read (not the bible, but books with scientifically proven sales and marketing methods).

    I'm not trying to be the big bad wolf. And I'm not going against the grain for the fun of it... I truly believe the most beneficial thing for you to do, is read some marketing books, put proven principals into practice and make some money.

    But, I know it's easier to listen to the folks telling you what you want to hear.

    I'm just saying, do so at your peril... and while you're at it - why not check and see how many of those folks are rhyming to pay the rent and put food on the table?

    My guess is zippo... SHOCKER!

    Colm
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by colmodwyer View Post

      I could be wrong. I'm just giving you my opinion based on personal experience (shifting a lot of product) and books read (not the bible, but books with scientifically proven sales and marketing methods). SHOCKER!Colm
      Shocker? No, not so much, as a matter of fact, the Song of Solomon has the most beautiful poetic writings to ever have been published, and has proven its methods to be true for centuries! And I'm willing to put money down that it has sold more copies in more languages than any of the books you refer to. Oh, by the way, did I mention the Song of Solomon is found in the BIBLE?

      Thank you for trying to help me though, I still appreciate it! Tell you what, lets just agree to disagree on some points and you get to keep your A+

      MissTerraK
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