7 replies
Hi guys,
I am looking for feedback on my About me page (I am a virtual assistant). All suggestions are welcome.
Here is the URL: http://vatamara.com/about/
#feedback
  • Looks professional enough for me! Keep in mind that pink colors often attract women than men.There's nothing bad about it though. Let me know if it happens that you really have more female customers
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11382677].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    Hi Tamara,

    It looks like you are brand-new to the profession and maybe not even qualified to be a VA, because your About page offers no credentials, no experience, no testimonials - not even a photo, not to mention where you live (in what country, even).

    Those are all things I would need to see before I would consider hiring a VA. (And I have hired several.)

    So I suggest you fill out your About page with personal information and reasons to trust that you can actually do what you propose to do for clients.

    Good luck,
    Marcia Yudkin
    Signature
    Check out Marcia Yudkin's No-Hype Marketing Academy for courses on copywriting, publicity, infomarketing, marketing plans, naming, and branding - not to mention the popular "Marketing for Introverts" course.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11382863].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    The header graphics take far too much space and are slow loading. That means most of the time (not all) what I see it the word 'about' in the middle of my screen - and have to scroll down to find any text. Same thing happens on the home page where I see the words 'hello and welcome' for 5-10 seconds before the graphic shows up. And - the graphic doesn't seem related to the site or services.

    It's uncomfortable to write about yourself - but that's what you have to do here. Don't tell me (the reader) what I want or need.....I've already found a site that promotes a VA so chances are that's what I'm looking for.

    Justify your pricing - compare it to other VA's if possible - and focus on the quality and attention to detail you provide. Highlight daily/weekly/monthly tasks you can handle for a customer who uses your services - and explain what is covered in your monthly report.

    Elevate the text a bit from 'folksy' to 'professional'. Your English is good but sentence structure could use some work. Every paragraph on your site should make a 'point' and the sentences are how you build to that point. Sometimes it helps me to outline the structure of a page of text to keep the copy focused.

    You have a good start - keep improving it as you go.
    Signature
    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
    ***
    My ducks are absolutely not in a row. I don't even know where some of them are...
    ...and I'm pretty sure one of them is a pigeon.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11382878].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    First, some technical things. For one, you are wasting a lot of real estate. Even on my laptop, I get a header image and the word "About" with no other content until I scroll. Another thing, edit your style sheet to turn the light gray text to black -- much easier to read, especially if your prospect has a few years wear and tear on their eyeballs.

    I actually liked the focus of your copy on what you can do for your clients, even though it lacked some detail. Marcia makes a good point about establishing that you're both a real person and that you have some credentials/experience.Follow up that intro with more details about who you are and how you work. As the fiction crowd likes to say, show, don't tell.

    Same with the home page. Lots of white space, very little content and that light gray text.

    You're wasting a huge opportunity with that little paragraph and an invitation to chat. I like the positioning statement -- think about ditching "Hello & Welcome" and making that the headline. You bill yourself as a social media expert, so answer me this: would "Home | Hello and Welcome" entice you to click through?

    You mention social media posting and email newsletters, but you don't seem to offer either. At the very least, you should be giving people a chance to sign up for your own newsletter and encouraging them to follow you on social media. This will go a long way toward demonstrating what you can do.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11385239].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
    You have to large of blocks of text. They need to be broken down into much smaller chunks.



    You have no images of you on the page.



    The header graohic loads slowly. Look at things like Smoosh to reduce your image size.
    Signature
    Free eBook =>
    The Secret To Success In Any Business
    Yes, Any Business!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11385245].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author AlanCarr
    It's not until the poor reader gets to the 2nd big block of text that you talk about you, and even then it's empty blather.

    You're clearly not understanding the purpose of this page, so let me explain it a bit:

    The 'About' page is to give the reader more information about YOU. Typically they may read or at least look at your homepage, and then if they are interested they might click on the About page to get to know you better. They are looking for things such as:

    How long have you been doing this?
    Why or how did you start?
    Where are you based?
    Old or young?
    Male or female?

    Things like that. You don't have ANY of those things on this page, so you really need to start again.

    A good, clear photo could help a lot as well.



    APC
    Signature

    This man is living his dream. Are you...?
    www.copywriter-ac.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11387259].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author AshtonLobo
    Get an SSL Certificate installed... You can get it done for free.
    Secondly the Pricing page: Didn't see the packages after the first three until I scrolled by mistake and then saw there are more.
    Reduce the size so that it fits on lower resolution displays as well. Looks very neat and professional otherwise!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11388789].message }}

Trending Topics