Wow, guys, I found it...

David Babineau

17 years ago

Oh my god that's hilarious!

I don't even need to read the sales letter, the "revolving earth" logo sold me

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1 reply

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Collette 17 years ago

Originally Posted by David Babineau

Oh my god that's hilarious!

I don't even need to read the sales letter...

Oh, you should... you really should...
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Fernando Veloso

17 years ago

Now

That's

Something

We

Don't

See

Everyday.

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TristanPerry

17 years ago

EAT AT YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANTS AND FAST FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS

On The Chocolate Weight Loss Diet, you can enjoy eating at your favorite restaurants and fast-food establishments. Here's an example of some of the establishments that we reccommend that you frequent:

* Applebee's
* Arby's
* Burger King
* Carl's Jr.
* Chili's Bar & Grill
* Dairy Queen
* Denny's
* Kentucky Fried Chicken
* McDonald's
* Olive Garden
* Outback Steakhouse
* Red Lobster
* Ruby Tuesday
* Sonic
* Subway
* Taco Bell
* TGI Fridays
* Wendy's
* Weinerschnitzel

This is one of those rare cases that the FTC really *should* act.

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EaglePiServ

17 years ago

The bonuses should include a coupon for free bypass surgery....

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CDarklock

17 years ago

I love how it offers relief from tooth decay.

I'm tempted to buy this just because the sales page is so hysterical.

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2 replies

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"The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers

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Darrel Hawes

17 years ago

I love this part:

Disadvantages of Exercise!

What is the advantage I have over my actively-exercising peers? Sure, I admire my running, pumping, sweating friends. But at the same time they have a high regard for the fact that I have far fewer, if any, injuries to my knees, shoulders, hips, back, shins, arms, shoulders, neck, legs and feet - and with some of those problems causing permanent damage.

The Chocolate Weight Loss Diet will give you overall better health than rigorous exercise, but without the aches, pains and doctor bills your exercising buddies get.

I know Clickbank won't allow some products on their system, and this made the cut? Hmmm...

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Loren Woirhaye 17 years ago

I eat raw chocolate - it's a mood elevator. I don't know about
it's weight-loss features because I'm not overweight and never
have been.

Sugar (and dairy) in chocolate candy wreaks all kinds of havoc.
Remove the sugar from the equation and you have a food
with very different qualities.

Raw chocolate is bitter and an acquired taste.

The ebook probably recommends raw chocolate as an appetite
suppressant. I've never noticed that it does this, but it
is a snack food that satisfies with just a little munching.

I haven't done it lately but in the past I could carry all the food
I needed for a long days work in the form of a bag of cocoa
nibs, some bee pollen, and an apple or two. Sometimes some
dried berries too.
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- StaffPartyTrivia 17 years ago
  
  And here's an unsolicited testimonial from Loren Woirhaye ...
  
  "I eat raw chocolate - it's a mood elevator. I don't know about
  it's weight-loss features because I'm not overweight and never
  have been."
  
  ...your proof that The Chocolate ....
  
  ( I'm sorry, I could not resist. But after all I've read about testimonials today ... )
  
  Thanks
  
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- Loren Woirhaye 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by L41db4ck
  
  Yeah but do you know why you haven't done it lately?
  
  Because a Big Mac tastes better! Come on, admit it
  
  No. It's because I've been working from home and have the luxury
  of refrigerated food on hand. I don't eat meat, anyway and
  honestly don't concur with the notion a meat sandwich tastes
  better than other foods.
  
  ... but I get the joke.
  
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  CDarklock 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye
  
  No. It's because I've been working from home and have the luxury of refrigerated food on hand.
  
  Bleh! How can you eat cold food?!
  
  I mean, I suppose if it's purely vegetarian, it's a little different... but some of the stuff I eat is still vegetarian; stir-fried rice with onions and celery, that sort of thing. Food is supposed to be warm.
  
  You know, like it was just recently alive.
  
  Huh. Maybe that has something to do with it.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
  
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erinwrites

17 years ago

Actually, I think I read somewhere that dark chocolate is actually good for you in small amounts.

It's possible that I was dreaming that though...or nightmaring it because I really don't like dark chocolate

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Collette 17 years ago

Cures hemorrhoids, infertility, and premature death, too.

Be still my trembling heart...

And I have 60 days to be completely satisfied with the freedom and power by embracing The Chocolate Weight Loss Diet.

No doubt, by the end of the 60 days, there'll be a lot more of me to embrace. :rolleyes:

How can I resist?
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Emily Meeks

17 years ago

Originally Posted by erinwrites

Actually, I think I read somewhere that dark chocolate is actually good for you in small amounts.

It's possible that I was dreaming that though...or nightmaring it because I really don't like dark chocolate

Dark chocolate does contain a few antioxidants, but I wouldn't call it a health food.

I wonder if this person actually makes any money >

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Jo_Shua 17 years ago

Originally Posted by moneysoapbox

I wonder if this person actually makes any money >

Do the gullible have jobs?
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- Emily Meeks 17 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Joshua Collins
  
  Do the gullible have jobs?
  
  Good point. I think somebody needs to watch Supersize Me >
  
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  In all that you do, know your True INTENT...
  
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  Jo_Shua 17 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by moneysoapbox
  
  I think somebody needs to watch Supersize Me >
  
  Hear good and bad about that documentary. Of course, usually the bad is from those whom gorge on Big Macs :-p
  
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Intrepreneur 17 years ago

Originally Posted by moneysoapbox

I wonder if this person actually makes any money >

This gal from Canada bought it as a joke.. :rolleyes:

This is the diet that I have waited for. I guess I sort of bought the book, on a whim, as a joke. I didn't think it was really for real. Then as I began to read, I began to believe that this could work. I could eat chocolate and the other foods that I loved and lose weight. So, here I am: 90 days and 40 pounds lighter and I couldn't be happier! - Jeannette Deveau, Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada

40 pounds lighter and 10 steps closer to becoming diabetic.

Though in all seriousness I bet the first few line say something like..

This books isn't about eating chocoloate and losing weight it's actually much more than that. You are going to learn how you can eat as much cocoloate, junk food or not change your diet at all while losing weight. You will learn the secrets behin not stuffing your fat face till you're beyond full and instead stuffing your fat face until you are full and then stopping. See the difference already? You won't be piling on all the extra pounds chocolate used to put on but instead you'll know how to stop eating the choco before it fattens you up. Taco Bell, Mc Donald's, KFC and in fact eat absolutely anything you want and stick to the Chocloate weight loss diet to see real fat bruning results.

I don't even know why I bothered writing all that.. Lol

Also hosted on same IP is this site..

premierebailbonds.com

I think they might be needing it one day soon.
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Loren Woirhaye

17 years ago

It's the sugar and fat in chocolate bars that will make you
fat, not the chocolate itself.

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natscash

17 years ago

Yup, won't mind taking my daily dose of chocolate right before work out...or even better yet before I eat 2 juicy burgers...large fries and a milk shake. One I got my chocolate...I'll be alright

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Scott Murdaugh

17 years ago

Guys. Seriously. Stop outing my sales pages.

-Scott

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Mark McClure 17 years ago

<sigh>... if only customers could pay in chocolate money... nah, wouldn't work. Probably start another financial meltdown ;-)

Right, that copy's entranced me and I'm off to get some J-choco. There are sooo many slim peeps here - it must be the load of cack bean? Yeah, that's it. Silly me.

L8r
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Instructor 17 years ago

Originally Posted by Scott Murdaugh

Guys. Seriously. Stop outing my sales pages.

-Scott

Did you really write it? I need a good writer
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ghyphena

17 years ago

You guys laugh and scoff... I think it's an awesome letter.

You start out in complete disbelief but read on because the claim is so huge. Then you get drawn in by the magic bullet solution... and... after you read the testimonials you begin to get the "what if it's real?" bug.

If I were massively overweight and addicted to KFC, I may just bite (pun emphatically intended).

Sure, it ain't perfect... some more scientific-sounding reason-why copy and a bolder guarantee should do it though. And some truffles. Truffles are always good.

Gil-Ad

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mitchman3

17 years ago

This product was on display at the New York State Fair, and I had a taste of it. Nasty! There's no way I could get used to something like this, sales page or not. And, me being me, I'd eventually be very skeptical of this diet, although, if someone would just write me a long sales letter about the benefits of eating 8 Snickers bars a day (only 2,000 calories) and how it'll bring down my glucose levels so I can give it to my wife, I'd really be appreciative. lol

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Scott Murdaugh

17 years ago

Did you really write it? I need a good writer.

No, I've got at least another 15 years before I reach products and copy of that caliber

-Scott

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Cherilyn Woodhouse

17 years ago

Scott, would you write the salesletter for my new ebook? I'm going into competition with this guy, launching a product called "PUT DOWN THE FORK."

I don't expect it to sell very well, since it involves actual exercise, restricting your diet to not include complete crap, and (gasp, horror of horrors) cutting down on portion sizes... It did help me lose 60 lbs, and I'm now training to run a marathon - but what would I know.

Ahh, I guess telling people to put down the fork just won't work. Apparently its easier just to pick it up. Or if you're TRULY special, its easier to buy into that useless junk...

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Kevin Lam

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Cherilyn Woodhouse

Ahh, I guess telling people to put down the fork just won't work. Apparently its easier just to pick it up. Or if you're TRULY special, its easier to buy into that useless junk...

I prefer chopsticks... but sometimes it's easier to eat rice with a spoon

.

Which reminds me of a funny story. I'm a Vietnamese guy in Japan eating rice with a spoon while all my other American friends are eating with chopsticks. Talk about irony.

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teamnirvana

17 years ago

And add to this all, the Sales Page also provides Affiliates to join

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Mmfh 17 years ago

I'll have me a chocolate lunch and dinner and let you know tomorrow if I lost any weight!

Mm
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bigchezmktg

17 years ago

I love chocolate - I mean I'd lick it off the men's bathroom floor its so good. (Of course, that's why I had 80 pounds to lose 2 years ago...)

I use to joke that if my local vitamin shop manager said one day, "You know, we just got these magic pills in. You lose 50 pounds overnight and dine on chocolate all day. All you gotta do is shave your head and give us one of your legs. "...I'd walk outta there bald and limping!

I have no doubt that this sells very well. People wanna believe and this letter gives them that.

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mrdomains

17 years ago

Lol! Can´t help but wonder if it´s real. Probably. Never mind the copy, I bet they are converting like mad!

This one freaks me out

How To Eat Chocolate And Lose Weight While You Sleep

I once fell asleep with a chocolate bar in a recliner during summer. Man, I was gooey all over when I woke up! Best part is, according to this line, they will teach me how I could have eaten it in my sleep

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ecarpet1

Banned 16 years ago

[DELETED]

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ripperdav 16 years ago

That is funny...I bet it's selling very well. Talk about hitting those emotional triggers to buy...for people who can give up stuff like junk food!
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scarpet1

16 years ago

I wonder if any of those claims could be overstated. No internet marketer would possibly overstate would they? Do less Eat More and get skinny. Great.

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Alexa Smith Banned 16 years ago

[DELETED]

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- CDarklock 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Alexa Smith
  
  I came across this about 8 months ago
  
  And you didn't share? Shame on you. We can tell what kind of girl you are.
  
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  "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
  
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ankit_frenz

16 years ago

lol..thats one of the most weried sites i recently saw!!
ha ha

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mghowell

16 years ago

Sweet, I know what I am getting all the women in my family for Christmas!!! j/k

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ghyphena

16 years ago

Alexa, can't you see the list of bullets? Bullets are the mark of the professional copywriter. Ergo, this is clearly the work of someone with very special abilities.

You shouldn't judge the product by the omnipresent "last 51 copies". Times have been tough.

Gil-Ad

BTW, you're my WF BFF (see Off Topic). Thought you should know.

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Jreyes2265

16 years ago

hahah unfortunetly, there's a sucker born every minute, and it will be purchased by somebody!

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Texas_Guns

16 years ago

WTH!?!? ClickBank approved that product?

That motivates me to list my "how to lose
weight while driving to work" product.

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PRsubmits

16 years ago

Has anyone actually bought this??

I am tempted to just to see what is inside.

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mastermute

16 years ago

That is very well written copy, but I doubt the facts are as well researched as the copy is well written! I wish I could write at that level, definitely...

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Wow, guys, I found it...

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