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Sub-Headline Ideas

by cima
8 replies
Hi There,

After, many hours !!, I've finally decided that my product will be called AtomicForex and I'm currently trying to find a good sub-headline as I'm going to order my graphics very soon...

That's why I'm coming to you, in order to get your great ideas !

I was actually thinking about :

-"Others set off firecrackers. We drop atomic bombs." (sounds weird...)

-"They Thought We Would Never Release it... They were wrong." (sounds cheap)

-(I'm keeping on thinking...)

Need your help once again !!

Thanks. Samuel.
#ideas #subheadline
  • Profile picture of the author lenlatimer
    I usually find that if I do a list of 10 to 20 headlines, one usually pops out. Then usually many of the others make great Subheads. Give that a try.
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    Len Latimer
    Copy-In-A-Box, an amazing Word Add-in Tool that adds Dazzle & Personality to your copy. My WSO

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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato
    Do you have copy written already? You might find the 'gem' is sitting in your copy.
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    William Cato
    Sit Down, Have A Cup Of Coffee
    and read my blog http://www.2ultra.com
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  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author cima
      Alexa,

      thank you very much for your thoughts !!

      To make the whole thing a little bit clearer here's what I'm currently trying to do :
      -Changing some parts of the sales pages to make it match with the possibly new name of the product.
      -Changing the name of the product and finding a decent sub-headline.
      -Changing the designs of the product to make them match with the new name

      And I'm a bit lost because it seems like not a single thing is working...

      What I basically wanted to do is to change the designs of the product because they're terrible and then I also thought the name UltimateForexTradingMethod was terrible so in the end, I'm ending up with the desire to change almost everything concerning the aspect of the product.

      By the way, what do you think about the sales letter (I'm going to change the picture, don't worry ! ) ?

      Cheers, Samuel.
      Signature
      My Brand New Forex Trading System :
      www.UltimateForexTradingMethod.com

      And My Forex Review Blog : www.UltimateForexReview.com
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  • Profile picture of the author jbr12
    Hi,

    I'm a newbie here but have been a successful marketing comms practitioner for 17 years now, so hopefully my advice has some value.

    My suggestion for a sub-head would be to create something that adds value or plays on your headline. Better still if you can slip a keyword in there. Use it to clarify what your offering is. And make sure any extraneous words are removed.

    I'm not overly keen on either of yours tbh, because they don't tell me anything, but if you are keen on the first one, wouldn't: 'Forget firecrackers - Bring on the bombs!' be snappier?

    Jo
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  • Profile picture of the author David Raybould
    Cima-

    Think benefits.

    What's the big benefit your product offers?

    Work that out and slip it into your slogan.

    It'll make it much more powerful than just
    using something witty.

    Hope that helps

    -David Raybould
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    Killer Emails. Cash-spewing VSLs. Turbocharged Landing Pages.

    Whatever you need, my high converting copy puts more money in your pocket. PM for details. 10 years experience and 9 figure revenues.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
    what's your USP? That is exactly what you must put across as a headline / sub-headline!

    Can you PM me your USP?

    I'll suggest a sub-headline by PM.

    Thanks.
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    I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

    Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
    Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
    I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
    *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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