How's this for a headline...

18 replies
Hi Everyone,

I truely value and respect the opinions of my fellow warriors.
I'm testing headlines for my survey site and I wanted to get an
honest opinion.

What do you think about this one:

"Who Else Wants To Get Paid Cash
& Rewards Taking Online Surveys...
450 Companies Want to Pay You
For Your Opinion!"

Thanks in advance!

-Jay
#headline
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    • Profile picture of the author imiconcepts
      Too basic... that's what I thought.

      Thanks!
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      • Profile picture of the author Technista
        Originally Posted by imiconcepts View Post

        Too basic... that's what I thought.
        Quite the contrary, not basic enough. It will capture more attention if it didn't reveal so much. Simple, catchy, and direct is what you're aiming for.
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  • Profile picture of the author lucky6man
    i liked the last part, the first part confused me a little
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  • Profile picture of the author BrownButter
    You should phrase the first few words as a questions, seems too wordy.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    It's generic and reads like thousands of other headlines. I'm also with the others on the 'who else' wants opening. That one is pretty weather worn.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    You need a hook in there... something that gets people's attention and helps it stand out from every other product of this nature.

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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  • Profile picture of the author Bret Ferguson
    "Get Paid Cash For Taking A Survey!"
    "Make Money Doing Online Surveys"
    "Doing Easy Online Surveys Pays Cash Now!"
    "Companies That Pay Cash For Your Opinion"
    "Cash For Surveys"
    "Companies That Pay Cash For Your Ideas"

    Play with it, mold it, shape it.
    Signature


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  • Profile picture of the author David Raybould
    Put some specifics in there.

    I can get paid? How much?

    I can get rewards? What are
    they?

    Mention some specifics and
    people will be more likely to
    read further into the letter.

    -David Raybould
    Signature
    Killer Emails. Cash-spewing VSLs. Turbocharged Landing Pages.

    Whatever you need, my high converting copy puts more money in your pocket. PM for details. 10 years experience and 9 figure revenues.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ronak Shah
    You can use this headline -

    "Discover The Secret To Making Money Online From Your Opinions And Past Experiences Just In A Couple Of Minutes Sitting Right In Front Of Your Computer!"

    I think this headline is still accurate considering people are getting paid for their opinions. It hits your target market accurately though it can be improvised a little bit as well. And people who are new to getting paid for filling online surveys will still want to read through. It inspires people to read through the sales letter.

    The best part of this headline is it is simple, to-the-point, attractive, catchy and directly hitting your target audience.

    Basically, a headline is the best way to market your sales offer by highlighting your USP within itself.

    USP = headline. What's so special about your offer that no one else offers, that's your USP.

    Unfortunately, I do not know what is your USP. The headline can be bettered by smartly inserting your USP in the headline.

    I think you need to be hitting direct at your target market. Not everyone reading your sales page is your customer. There are a ton of people who would want to just do what you offer. You must target only those who are really inspired to get paid for their opinions.

    If you still need further help, PM me. I will be glad to help you.
    Signature
    I AM YOUR Direct Response Ninja Kick-Ass Sales Copywriter.

    Now, Here's The REAL DEAL:
    Either I make YOU at least 10 times of what I charge YOU OR
    I'll Write YOUR Sales Copy AGAIN Till YOU Make MUCH MORE Than THAT. Guaranteed*.
    *Terms & Conditions Apply. Email me at ronak[at]ronakshah[dot]name right now.
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    • Profile picture of the author Leedir
      "Who Else Wants To Get Paid Cash
      & Rewards Taking Online Surveys...
      This is a bit confusing... I read and re-read and read it once again. I might think the content would be confusing as well.
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    • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
      Banned
      Originally Posted by ronakshah View Post

      You can use this headline -

      "Discover The Secret To Making Money Online From Your Opinions And Past Experiences Just In A Couple Of Minutes Sitting Right In Front Of Your Computer!"


      The best part of this headline is it is simple, to-the-point, attractive, catchy and directly hitting your target audience.
      It's anything but.
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  • Profile picture of the author superaffiliate007
    "Who Else Wants To Get Paid Just By Giving Your Opinion!" - Ithink this would be great.
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    "Who else wants to get laid"???...uh...sorry...my mistake..."paid". Note to self "Get stronger reading glasses". But in truth that's a stronger head than your lame "Who else wants to get paid?".

    Maybe -

    "Who Else Wants to Get Laid While Filling Out Online Surveys?"
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    • Profile picture of the author Greg Jacobs
      Originally Posted by Metronicity View Post

      "Who else wants to get laid"???...uh...sorry...my mistake..."paid". Note to self "Get stronger reading glasses". But in truth that's a stronger head than your lame "Who else wants to get paid?".

      Maybe -

      "Who Else Wants to Get Laid While Filling Out Online Surveys?"
      Nice. I will buy it for $500!


      I remember years ago the "copy" that got me into IM. There was an ad going around for a guy who lived in thailand and layed on the beach all day making monies on teh internets

      So the headline was something like

      "work in thailand. make lots o monies.."
      it was of course just a landing page lead in to another crappy survey course, but the point is that the hook had nothing to do with the actual content of the course (surveys) it was all about working in thailand and laying on the beach....

      now that is something to think about....
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      • Profile picture of the author imiconcepts
        Thanks guy's you've all been so helpful!

        -Jay
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