One Page Copy To Sell E-Training... What Do You Think?

Your headline is too long and it's also weak. Your page seems fairly oriented to you and not the prospect. For example:

"By now I'm sure you've had a look around my site and have realized that I am quite the straight shooter..."

How in the world would you come to that conclusion? Here's another:

"...so it's only natural that I would be at the forefront of this phenomenon..."

There's plenty more of the 'I' stuff throughout the copy. You need to shift the focus to the reader and only use the word 'I' in reference to what you're going to do for your prospect.

It is important to establish credibility so isolate a certain section of the page for your bio and tell the reader who you are and why you're qualified to do what your doing, then stop gloating.

And if it's your intention to be like the rich jerk, you either need to jump right in from the start with the obnoxious banter and keep it going throughout the page or not do it at all. That style can be effective if done properly but every knock-off I've ever seen fails miserably at it.

You've also got ads on the page and an opt-in box. You've gotta decide what you're trying to accomplish with this page. Why in the world would you spend time and money to drive traffic to your offer and then give your prospect the opportunity to click away with ads? It doesn't make sense.

As for an opt-in box on a sales page, sometimes it works and sometimes it's a distraction allowing the prospect the opportunity to 'think about it' some more. In your case it doesn't matter much at this point because you have plenty of other more pressing issues to get this material into shape. Good luck.

Your copy needs attention from top to bottom. Above all, it's boring (sorry!).

Try this headline instead:

"The 3 Reasons Why You'll Always Be FAT...

...and Why You'll End Up Paying Up To 129% More Money Than Skinny People Did To Lose Weight The Fit Jerk Way..."

Or something of that nature. The 129% is based on how much money they pay in personal trainers compared to your digital equivalent, but you'll have to do the real maths on that one.

Hope that helps a little, I'll leave rest to others...

You have some interesting stuff in your letter but... it isn't approachable

Here's what I would take a look at:
1. Too much going on. Your reader will be distracted and click off elsewhere.
2. Lose the top banner
3. Lose the navigation bar
4. Lose the Sidebar Stuff
5. Reversed out copy is too hard too read. Plain white on black is the ticket.
6. Adwords is silly on a salesletter. Focus everything on generating 1 action.

Your Headline is actually your lead sentence. You still need a compelling headline that speaks to a specific audience, promises a benefit, is specific, and makes it impossible to stop reading

Font is too small

Subheadlines are good - they just need to be visually different than the main text - bigger font size and centered.

Text is visually dense. Use bullet point lists to break up the blogs and hold more visual interest.

"Train With FJ, Here's What You Get"
is a list of features. It needs to be a list of hard-hitting benefits that gets the readers heart-pumping and finger clicking.

Your Offer/Next Steps is muddled and hard to follow. Consider using a step-by-step format to get the reader moving.

Do you offer a Satisfaction Guarantee? If so, then make sure you include it?

Why should I believe you? Do you have testimonials or endorsements that you can include?

Finally, you still haven't sold me on the benefits of the E-Training process. Work on making this a logical and compelling argument. You'll be surprised by how quickly the rest falls into place.

Stan