1. Somebody starts a "looking for a copywriter" thread but provides no information whatsoever about the project at hand - 1 sip.
2. Somebody asks for a critique/help/advice and is never heard from again - 1 sip per unacknowledged reply.
3. In case of #2, if OP's post count is in the single digits - Down what's left in your glass.
4. Somebody posts a job for what turns out to be content work - 2 sips.
5. If a copywriter-needed thread announces a budget of under $500, then the following rules apply:
a) A turnaround time of under 5 days is required - 1 sip.
b) A guaranteed conversion rate is required - 1 sip for every equivalent 1% requested.
c) Proof of track record is requested (reasonable: e.g. previous conversion data, samples, etc) - 2 sips.
d) Proof of track record is requested (exceptional: e.g. a current Boardroom control and an endorsement from David Garfinkel) - Down what's left in your glass.
e) A message along the lines of "thanks for all the PMs, keep them coming" is posted by the OP - Down what's left in your glass.
f) If the time difference between this "thanks" message and the original post in less than 6 minutes - Go ahead and finish the bottle.
6. Any warrior's first contribution to Copywriting is a lecture on the "best way" to write copy (include benefits), structure a landing page, make use of a headline, etc... with no attempt to build any credibility - Down what's left in your glass.
7. Mark Andrews refers to himself in the third person - Down what's left in your glass.
8. Somebody shows up and starts bitching about how copywriters charge too much - Finish the bottle.
9. Anytime the concept of "selling" is linked with the concept of "evil" - Finish the bottle.
10. Somebody attempts to start a philosophical discussion on the blatant immorality of persuading people to do something - Find the nearest bar. Have one of everything.