Headline Help? Pleaseeeee

Care to share those testimonials? There might be a good story in there that you could use as a killer hook in your headlines.

I'm not a copy guy but I personally get tired of the "who else" line.....must work though everyone and their brother seems to use it.

The other thing I would do is think about changing the 90 day pitch and maybe focus on something in your product where they can get results in a shorter amount of time.
Maybe there is milestones within your 90 day program you could focus on like 7 steps to handling the basketball like a pro.....or something like that.

I'm sure it would take some people 90 days (maybe longer) to handle the bb like a pro but down size that length of time and supersize milestones.

Most people like quick and easy, they never want to work for things.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of conflicting copy pitches here though.

Good luck!

Yes, please... avoid the "Who Else... " headline. It's very tired.

Grab 'em by the short ones. But not with hype. Make it believable. I read
something here very recently that is really true. Something about your claim
cannot be more than what you can prove in your copy.

Also, read this short thread...

http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...-consumer.html

Good luck!

"Amazingly Simple 3 Minute Dribbling Exercises That Took Me From Bench Warmer To 20 Point Scorer In Under 90 Days..."

Lots of super-guru professional copywriter guys say the headline often (or always?) comes from the USP or the hook... ya' got that business figured out?

I don't know anything about the market or the people that would buy the product, but I do play once in awhile...

I know I'd want simple "short-cuts" (i.e. easy learning) that would give me an "unfair advantage" on the court and teach me how to break ankles Iverson style so I can brag and trash talk during (and after) the game. :p

If that speaks to your market, maybe use that as a starting point...

Or maybe I've read too many Carlton ads today...

Either way, good luck!

Haha I like all these ideas thanks! keep em coming!

Why do people want to be better dribblers?

To create their own shot... to get more "open"... to score more points...

To get to the basket easily... score more points... humiliate defenders... bask in ego boost.

To cross-over and vicariously be like Mike.

To win respect and awe of their coach... their teammates... fans... media?

To win the gaze of girls in the stands... to potentially bed one or more at some point (!) (Wilt)

To become a better player... and be perceived as a better player...

To express themselves creatively. (Pistol Pete Maravich, Steve Nash, The "And1" Crew)

To beat someone one-on-one... and feel a mano 'a' mano ego victory...

To help their team win... to be "the hero"... "the man" teammates defer to...

To not lose their place on the team... so they're not humiliated... crushed...

Just a handful of motivations you might want to tap into in your copy and headline package. I'm sure there's more.

Have you got a big list of all the benefits of your product???

Mention of your 90 day program should come in a secondary headline. That is a long time to get results, even if the results are world class. To hook them on your program, you should give them as close to immediate results as possible. Those that see something immediate will be locked into the program long term to get to the 90 day goal.
Take a look at your program, and extract the simplest component to give them instant satisfaction. As someone else mentioned, "3 minute dribble exercise" or something similar is the way to go.

This is also exactly what you should offer for your free opt-in gift for your email list. Give them something simple, something they can conquer, then sell them the rest of the program.

OK.

HAHA! You guys are genius's lovin it!

Hi Metronicity,

No disrespect to you--AT ALL. I love, I admire you and I appreciate your comments and your contribution amazes me (and the majority of the time makes me giggle with delight.) And...

Denis Rodman was NOT a particularly good dribbler.

He was a rebounder. A rebounder EXTRAORDINAIRE. Probably the best there ever was. He FOUGHT like an animal for that ball. Read his biography. Watch the tapes and you'll see.

But--he was awkward dribbling. He admits. He was a FIGHTER on the court.

The moment he got that ball, he'd get rid of it. HE KNEW.

I KNOW. I am from Chicago. And yes, I know the man and gotten plastered with him. He was a freak of nature. Screw that. He was just a freak.

- Rick Duris

PS: I understand. If you're not from Chicago, I understand you just don't know these subtle, nuance sort of things. (This is the beauty of copywriting. Getting into the head of your ultimate prospect who knows the little things that make all the difference.)

For instance, when you invoke a name like "Denis Rodman," it's like a chant or a spell. You are summoning the basketball GODS. Once you do, be VERY careful with what you write next.

Put it in the right context and you will do well.

Again, while Denis' name is LEGEND, you have to, you must, put it in the right context. Otherwise prospects will say BS, BS BS. They'll think you don't know what you are talking about.

Again Metronicity, no offense. I love you and what you are doing. It's just that I have intel the majority of people do not have in this context.

To the point and in this context: I am a Chicagoan "Yah, hey dere..." Go Cubbies!

Yeah lol I wouldn't have used Dennis Rodman I would've used someone that was known for their dribbling like Allen Iverson, Jason Williams.. Pretty much any guard lol