Would this Work

It might be a sellable product but your copy won't do.

You'll have to work a lot harder than you have to write
workable copy for this.

It's not really sales copy, try structuring it something like this and you can't go far wrong:

Hi, my name's...

I'm an SEO expert...

I specialize in local business SEO...

Here's screenshots showing my results...

I'm offering a report that...

Here's what you'll learn..

Here's some testimonials...

Here's the price...

You don't need much more for a WSO you've already got a captive audience. Maybe explain that as Google personalizes searches local SEO becomes more important etc.

Hope this helps.

Thanks!

The product is getting rave reviews just my sales copy has let me down!

Thanks for the advice

Danny

Hi my names Danny Cutts, I am a search engine optimisation expert.

I specialise in getting local businesses ranking on the first page of google. I have many happy clients that have benefited from my services as an search engine consultant. I have got companies ranking on the first 3 results for a targeted keywords.

Here are some of the results I have got

Screen Shot 1

Screen Shot 2

Screen Shot 3

As you can see I have got top spot results and as you can tell my clients are over the moon with what I have achieved. I get paid a decent monthly fee for what I do and my clients gladly pay it every single month!!

I am offering a report that will get your site on the first page of google and not only that in the top 3 results. I have been using this method to get sites ranking for many years and over those years I have refined what I do and it works like well oiled machine now.

You will learn how to get targeted backlinks to your site but not only that I will give the tools needed to do this in the most time efficient way and a way that gets results.

This has nothing to do with writing articles what so ever, I am far to lazy to be doing that. You do not need to know any coding and you most definitely don't need to be making any changes to your current site what so ever.

I have written this course in away that makes it easy to do what I do and I literally take you by the hand and walk you through every single step of the way...

Don't just listen to what I have to say here are what others are saying....

Testimonial 1

Testimonial 2

Testimonial 3

I have been doing consulting for local businesses for some time now and this is the method I use and it has been working exceptionally well for me. Its not hard nor is it rocket science!!

A lot of marketers over look this simple method because it looks too easy and it is easy but Damn it works!!

The "Working Man's Web Domination" will be selling for $37 when I get the site finished that is why I am offering you warriors the opportunity to get it today for a low price of $17 that's it no more just $17

http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...es-letter.html

that might help you, ? cheers

Testimonials would describe your product the better as it will also work on your reliability points. On the other hand, sharing your own experiences can be a good shot provided that you have not only given merely experience but also how have you learned in the process and that way, leading your way to help them the way you did.

Danny...congrats on the product. However, the sales copy just doesn't do it any justice. If you're not skilled in writing copy then the best thing to do is just hire a skilled writer to do it or better yet---do a video sales letter, which is the wave of the future.