need feedback on salesletter

by Wage Mills

Posted: 16 years ago 11 replies

COPY WRITING

need feedback on this

Twitter Viral CPA

#feedback #salesletter

Justincmarketing Banned 16 years ago

[DELETED]

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- BrianMcLeod 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Justincmarketing
  
  very informative, made me want your product haha,
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
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  Brian McLeod
  
  Direct Response Copywriting
  
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Scott Murdaugh 16 years ago

What's the support like?

How does it work?

How do I know it won't get my account(s) banned?

Is it desktop or web based?

What happens in a month when Twitter updates and the software stops working?

What if it doesn't work, can I get my money back? How long do I have to try it out?

Do you have proof that it works?

How can you back up (prove) your claim that setting up 10 bots is like sending 1k targeted emails per day?

Is this illegal?

What else do I need to use it?

What if I'm not smart enough to figure it out?

How easy is it to set up a campaign?

What does it look like?

If it's so powerful why only $17?

Can I see it in action?

Your website looks amateur, why should I trust you?

Who are you?

And? AND?....

-Scott
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Daniel Scott 16 years ago

It's pretty obvious you haven't read nearly enough copywriting books - or put more than an hour or two of effort into writing this.

It's not really even worth an in-depth critique.

Read the books in the sticky. Spend 40+ hours on your letter.

THEN ask for a critique.

-Dan
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- ewenmack 16 years ago
  
  Geez I turned away as soon as I saw no headline and the lie that Twitter is #1
  social networking site.
  
  Last I looked it was Facebook.
  
  Two of the most basics are missing.
  
  Ewen
  
  Thanks
  
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wcmylife 16 years ago

Hi Wage,

Your joking - correct? That's not even a draft....
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Les Tatum 16 years ago

To be perfectly honest with you, I hate getting spam @replies as much as I hate spam DMs so I never even look at what they are promoting even if they are based on keywords I am interested in. Best to do it the old fashioned way and interact personally with people. As far as the sales letter goes, keep trying, dig into some good copywriting products and keep at it and you will get it.
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Shaleniie Devi 16 years ago

Hi Wage

I really don't see any form of copy at all.

There is no flow at all... reading through, I was thinking what bots? is he selling a product?

I would recommend you start off by answering the questions Scott posted above.

That should get you started on a decent draft

-Shaleniie
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Warren.Richards 16 years ago

Is it only me who can't see any headline or you don't have any. I'm shocked to see a sales copy without any headline.(am I drunk?)

You need to read some good copywriting books to get basic understanding of a sales page and all the elements it contains (at least the basic elements)

Answer all the questions raised by Scott do some research on your competitor's sales page. Get an idea from there and go fire your thoughts on paper.

If someone else has written it then he has written it very badly.

I can write that sales page for you but that's different.

Hey actually I can write it for you, only if you want to. Pm me for more details.

But at least know what are the basics of a sales copy.

Warren.
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Dean Jackson 16 years ago

I just vomited in my mouth...
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medgar 16 years ago

I'd replace the first four sentences with this:
"Why spend hours gaining Twitter followers when one bot will get you 100-1,000's of clicks a day?"

The whole thing has too many WORDS.
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Ashley Wright 16 years ago

I thought the reply's were pretty harsh before actually seeing the copy... Then I looked at the copy!! Words really cannot describe what my screen is showing me! Got to be banter right??

Good copy = 30+ hours Your Copy = 1-2mins

see the difference??
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