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Tips/suggestions for this copy

by Coby
6 replies
Hey,

I just released a new software. Can y'all please give me some tips to improve my sales copy?

here are the sales pages:

Forum Marketing Made Easy | Forum Fever

Rebrand Now | Forum Fever

Thanks
#copy #tips or suggestions
  • Profile picture of the author AvD555
    This is difficult for me too, i was looking for some tips too , but nobody told me
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  • Profile picture of the author bpetric
    It doesn't really say what's in for me. What's the real benefit? Doesn't push any emotional points.
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  • Profile picture of the author Stephen Dean
    I'd try applying the 4 U's to your headline... is it urgent? ultra-specific? useful? unique?

    I don't think so, so I'd give it another shot with these things in mind.

    Urgent: It's not. There's no scarcity involved. Can you limit the offer somehow? Or explain why a reader should act now?

    Ultra-Specific: It's not. "Organize & Boost Your Forum Marketing Efforts" - that doesn't say much at all. What's the end goal for someone using the software? What will it help them do? That should be in the headline.

    Unique: The headline is vague, so it's impossible to tell if it's unique.

    Useful: It might appear useful... if someone is already doing forum marketing. What about someone who's not? How will they know it's useful? By being ultra-specific you'll help demonstrate why this is useful. You might also say something like "in 5 minutes per day." That makes it useful as well.

    Cheers,
    Stephen Dean
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  • Profile picture of the author Coby
    Thanks for the tips!! Greatly appreciated! Now to implement them. I will be back with update soon
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Faber
    That headline is missing something. Try this one:

    "Get More Backlinks, More Visitors, and More Profit From Your Marketing Efforts With One Mouse Click!
    Use This Powerful, New Software to Instantly Leverage the Power of Forum Marketing, and Dominate Virtually Any Niche."

    I agree with Stephen, you need to pull someone in who isn't already using forum marketing. It will expand your market. When writing a headline, you want to give the benefit your prospect will get. Boost forum marketing isn't really the benefit. The real benefit is that they can make more money expand their presence.
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  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Hi Coby,

    Your first step is to think of that one person who you can help.

    Then let him know you understand what he's thinking and feeling.

    Think of a small group of friends talking in a group and you interupt
    their conversation by saying something totally irrelavant. You aren't welcome.

    Now go in with something that is on cue with the chat and you are in.

    Imagine you are writing to that same small group of friends.

    How would you approach it?

    I'd imagine you would think about what they are talking about right now...

    ...right?

    Obviously you are clued up on the discussion, otherwise you will be left out
    in the cold.

    Take that imaginary group and replace it with a real group.

    So what are they talking about that stirs up their emotions?

    You have to plan your point of entry based on what's
    going on in their mind.

    Do this before you mention your product and how great you are.

    Hope this gets you back on track.

    All the best,
    Ewen

    Originally Posted by Coby View Post

    Hey,

    I just released a new software. Can y'all please give me some tips to improve my sales copy?

    here are the sales pages:

    Forum Marketing Made Easy | Forum Fever

    Rebrand Now | Forum Fever

    Thanks
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2795344].message }}

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