First squeeze page

Hi Zedem. Looks good at first glance. Not sure about the bilious yellow, but you could split test that with other colours to see what works better. I'd lose the subhead, because it's only telling you the same thing as the sign up box. Maybe edit the bullets again, see if you can shorten them. GW

You have some spelling mistakes: "signup up" and "recieve" (haven't checked the test).
Still, for a first squeeze page, looks much better than mine!

Nice job! Looks pretty good except for those spelling errors. One more thing: maybe you could move that "grab your free copy" graphic up the page a bit. It seems a little out of place down so low. Just my opinion, though --- there may be something I don't know about placing graphics down the page.

Hey, I just uploaded it

the url w w w. burnthosepounds.com


I added the hover ad, but it looks a bit cluttered to me so Ill try a split test.

Also, I've yet to figure out how to upload my free report for them to download on the second page.

Looks pretty good. Much better than mine (see sig.). I would probably substitute "chuck out" for "give up." Change "shorcake" to "shortcake." Put a space in "Ofcourse." "Labelled" is "labeled" (in American English at least). I would probably change "learn" to "discover." How about "1 Simple secret to effortlessly shed those extra pounds."

Maybe instead of just a simple download page for the "Thank You Page," you could post the free report as a web page and then have a "learn more" or "next" link at the bottom that takes them into the sales page (all with the same template) to make it seem like they are simply continuing the free report. Then send them the free report as the body of the email and/or an attachment. This gives them a chance to buy right away while they are hot.

If they navigate away then it reduces the likelihood of them buying today (from what I have learned).

Hope that helps!

K.

The only thing i'd change would be the headline..well to be more precise the arrangement of the words.
e.g. Are you making these 8 mistakes nearly EVERY Dieter makes?

In the headline I would change
"Those"
to
"These"

I agree with losing the yellow, but overall it looks crisp and clean. Good luck with it!

Condense the report into a one page summary so they get a glimpse and use the bottom link to say "continue" or "next" since you are sending them the expanded report anyways, this is not a rip-off.

If i may,

Commonly you're doing good...

It's attractive... (make sure you change the mis spell, mentioned by Juan).

If i may add, you may want to collect their Names too (besides their emails)... cause it would be easier for you to follow them up...

That's it.. Good luck..

-Lemy

Wow. That's an UGLY shade of bile.

A few edits to this page are DEFINITELY in order.

First, I see no reason to believe you more than I'd believe weight watchers, jenny craig, or 1000 other people trying to sell me random weight loss products. Why should I listen to YOU?

You've got "Instantly" spelled wrong in your optin form headline...and "download" spelled wrong in your header.

Not sure why you have the green shaded background behind your headline.

the page is a bit too choppy. A bunch of separate text chunks, none of which makes me want to read the next one. I think you need to work on your copy. Try writing from the perspective of your customer, rather than you.

It's a bit too hypey. Maybe that works in the weight loss market (On the other hand, maybe you'll stand out by NOT doing what everyone else does.)

That said...besides the misspellings, don't believe a word I've said. TEST EVERYTHING. Then you'll know for sure what works and what doesn't.

That's it for now. Good luck!

--Mark