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Need review for my squeeze page

by ShazLeghari
8 replies
Hiya warriors

I need a review on my website called Secret Auction

Its an information product about how to make thousands of dollars using ebay in a unique way and it is completely unique and giving it away for free in exchange for names and email addresses.

Please let me know what I can improve, I know that I have to put in graphics such as ecovers and banners in which I will do but what know how my copywriting skills is and what I can improve on thanks.\

Secret Auction
#page #review #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author 247Copywriter
    Does this make sense to you?

    If so, all hope is lost...

    I regularly make over a hundreds of dollars in just two days from eBay and you can start using it today...
    Signature
    --->----->----->----->-----> MarkAndrews IMCopywriting <-----<-----<-----<-----<---
    http://www.IMCopywriting.com
    Mark@IMCopywriting.com
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    Two words: fake specificity. Either that, or really unclear communication.
    Signature

    Need a quick, effective copy critique to boost your conversion? 24-hr turnaround:
    http://juhotunkelo.com/copy-critique/

    Want world class copy to sell your world class product? Get a free evaluation today:
    http://www.emergingonlinetrends.com/...-juho-tunkelo/

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  • Profile picture of the author Ross James
    Interesting, is this about rewriting copy for real estate listings?
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    • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
      The page appears to have been written by a non-native speaker. It makes no sense in places, and even where it does, there's no emotional charge. Never ceases to amaze me why people will go to the doctor if they have a broken leg but they won't hire a copywriter to help their business make money.
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  • Profile picture of the author lior1970
    I think if you put a graphic at least on the header will shows more credibility.
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  • Profile picture of the author ShazLeghari
    Hi warriors,

    Yes I will do all the changes necessary and will redo the whole thing, got this from a premade sales page of from my PLR product
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    • Profile picture of the author Collette
      Originally Posted by ShazLeghari View Post

      ...Its an information product about how to make thousands of dollars using ebay in a unique way ...what I can improve on thanks.

      Secret Auction
      Originally Posted by jtunkelo View Post

      Two words: fake specificity. Either that, or really unclear communication.
      @jtunkelo - You had me at "fake".

      @ShazLeghari - Here's how you can improve this offer:

      Step 1: Use your product, as described.
      Step 2: Apply a thousand of those thousands of dollars you will have made to hiring a copywriter.
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  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    Your headline is more like a "pre-headline" that calls out your market. You need to create a true headline with a compelling promise, 2 or 3 big benefits and maybe an interesting or unique twist.
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