Please help with my headline!

"Did You Know That The Recession Of '29 Created More Millionaires Than Ever Before In The History Of The Country?"

Here's How You Can Follow In Their Footsteps And Not Only Survive, But Thrive During The Current Recession Period

Something along those lines... get what I'm saying? =)

[ 1 ] Thanks
2 replies

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AnarchyAds

Banned 17 years ago

[DELETED]

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Lavinco 17 years ago

Are you familure with what a Topic sentence is? Learning this may help you in the future.
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UnityinAustralia

17 years ago

Originally Posted by AnarchyAds

He's got the right idea, above.
This is about OPPORTUNITY, not gloom & doom.

===================

How The Average Joe With No Dough Can Profit From The Current Financial Crisis

The Great Depression
Created More Millionaires
Than Any Other Time In History.

Once again, Opportunity Knocks!!!

Sign-Up To Get
THE FREE REPORT:

How The Average Joe With No Dough
Can Profit From
The Current Financial Cri$i$

ACT NOW - ONLY 1,000 COPIES AVALIABLE !!!
ONCE THEY ARE GONE, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN

This headline worked the most on me out of all the headlines shown.

At least, the Great Depression sentence did. The rest I phased out as uninteresting, or just hype (ie, not specific, quantified, backed up with 'proof', etc)

Thanks

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cd928

17 years ago

Originally Posted by AnarchyAds

He's got the right idea, above.
This is about OPPORTUNITY, not gloom & doom.

===================

How The Average Joe With No Dough Can Profit From The Current Financial Crisis

The Great Depression
Created More Millionaires
Than Any Other Time In History.

Once again, Opportunity Knocks!!!

Sign-Up To Get
THE FREE REPORT:

How The Average Joe With No Dough
Can Profit From
The Current Financial Cri$i$

ACT NOW - ONLY 1,000 COPIES AVALIABLE !!!
ONCE THEY ARE GONE, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN

This headline wins in my book because it's timely. There's the current economic crisis and people would want to earn more money amid the fears of losing jobs, rising costs, etc.

Thanks

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Zachary R. Skinner

17 years ago

Originally Posted by metalslug

Use history facts dude... the tried and true

"Did You Know That The Recession Of '29 Created More Millionaires Than Ever Before In The History Of The Country?"

Here's How You Can Follow In Their Footsteps And Not Only Survive, But Thrive During The Current Recession Period

Something along those lines... get what I'm saying? =)

This headline and sub-headline are excellent!

Hell, this headline would make me very, very interested in your product.

Nice Job!

Thanks
1 reply

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Lavinco 17 years ago

Originally Posted by Zachary R. Skinner

This headline and sub-headline are excellent!

Hell, this headline would make me very, very interested in your product.

Nice Job!

Too Long. Personally, I would only use;

""Did You Know That The Recession Of '29 Created More Millionaires Than Ever Before?"

less redundant.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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- colmodwyer 17 years ago
  
  Revealed: The simple and easy-to-follow information which will let you watch your financial wories melt away.
  
  Hellz no.
  
  Colm
  
  Thanks
  
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  www.FreeSwipeFile.com -- Free Archive of Sales Letters for Copywriters and Marketers...
  
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Raydal

17 years ago

Originally Posted by metalslug

Use history facts dude... the tried and true

"Did You Know That The Recession Of '29 Created More Millionaires Than Ever Before In The History Of The Country?"

Here's How You Can Follow In Their Footsteps And Not Only Survive, But Thrive During The Current Recession Period

Something along those lines... get what I'm saying? =)

This is a great example of the PARADOXICAL headline. Interestingly, my latest
blog post was on headline writing ...

Copywriting Tips And Tricks 10 Ways To Writing Better Headlines

Here's what I included about this type of headline:

"Make a paradoxical claim. Consider these headlines: "How to lose weight while eating more!" "How to make money online without a website!" All these claims state a contradiction and build a tension in the reader's mind that can only be resolved when he reads the rest of the copy, which is the main purpose of any headline--to get the rest of the sales letter read. Brainstorm and see if you can come up with a paradoxical headline for your product and tell another 'David beating Goliath' story with your sales copy."

This headline wins for me as well.

-Ray L.,

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kswr123

17 years ago

wow thyere all so good.

"Want to know The Best methods to help you survive the worst financial crisis since the Wall Street Crash?

Here's How You Can Not Only Survive But Thrive During The Current Financial Crisis..."

What do you think of that?

Thanks

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Stephen Dean

17 years ago

I like AnarchyAds copy the most.

In the first headline. "The best" won't cut it. It doesn't mean anything because it's not specific. And that helps to make it less believable.

What will the methods help you do? Or how can you describe them so they're specific.

In the second headline, I think you could drop the "Who Else" part too. In the latter half, what's a recession naysayer exactly? It sounds a little confusing to me. Is it someone who denies that we're in a recession? I'd make it more clear.

Cheers,
Stephen Dean
stephensblog.com

Thanks

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kswr123

17 years ago

The headline that I am going with at the moment is:

Revealed: The simple and easy-to-follow information which will let you watch your financial wories melt away.

Turn the Recession into a Goldmine! Find out how you can not only survive, but THRIVE during the current economic crisis!

Thanks
1 reply

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areyouelite

17 years ago

Originally Posted by AnarchyAds

He's got the right idea, above.
This is about OPPORTUNITY, not gloom & doom.

===================

How The Average Joe With No Dough Can Profit From The Current Financial Crisis

The Great Depression
Created More Millionaires
Than Any Other Time In History.

Once again, Opportunity Knocks!!!

Sign-Up To Get
THE FREE REPORT:

How The Average Joe With No Dough
Can Profit From
The Current Financial Cri$i$

ACT NOW - ONLY 1,000 COPIES AVALIABLE !!!
ONCE THEY ARE GONE, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN

Originally Posted by saq3m

The headline that I am going with at the moment is:

Revealed: The simple and easy-to-follow information which will let you watch your financial wories melt away.

Turn the Recession into a Goldmine! Find out how you can not only survive, but THRIVE during the current economic crisis!

IMO - this is way to soft. Financial situations are often the most emotional and you need to play into that emotion. Remember to enter the conversation in the prospects mind. I doubt anyone is thinking "Man, I wish there was information that would melt my financial worries away" plus you have couple grammatical errors (loss of credibility).

Anarchy's ad SCREAMS at you - the right way and answers the question in my mind...how the hell to I take advantage of this situation to make more money right now.....emotions are pulled and he even put a limit on the number of reports (scarcity)...nice job.

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kswr123

17 years ago

Heh! Ok thanks. I am just going through deciding now!

Thanks

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kswr123

17 years ago

Yeah I think I'll go withb the millionaires one, as that ties in with the Buffett Case study that will be in the eBook.

Thanks
1 reply

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warriorkevin 17 years ago

I was all about filling in the form after I read AnarchyAds rework.

Hurry up so I can get your report
- Thanks
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kswr123

17 years ago

don't worry. Ill sign you up for a review! It's almost done, but making the final touches on a report this big takes a while. also, I've had to re-do the beginning two chapters, as on proof reading I found that they 'didn't fit'

Thanks

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kswr123

17 years ago

Yeas thanks a lot. I will be using a slight modification of that ad. But I was just wondering. If you say only 1000 copies, does it mean you have to stop at 1000?

Thanks

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Dennis Miedema

17 years ago

If I may content, being the copywriting enthusiast that I am: everybody wants a simple, easy and quick solution to their problems...so EVERYBODY is SAYING simple, quick and easy in their headlines too!

If I read whatever headline that says simple, easy and quick I just yawn and the average prospect also yawns because he has seen it all before. The best way to use the "simple, quick and easy motivator" as I'd like to call it is to be specific...

HOW quick?
HOW simple?
HOW easy?

Let me take your headline, give it a more specific spin and you end up with: Revealed: An insider's shortcut roadmap with instant action improvements that'll let you watch your financial worries melt away...almost overnight.

How quick? Almost overnight
How simple? Instant action simple!
How easy? Follow the shortcut roadmap easy...

Here are some other "quic, simple and easy motivator" ways of thinking you can use for your headline and yes...you can steal them from me:

- (It's quick, easy and simple because...) no matter how crappy your results were before, it still does X
- (It's quick, easy and simple because...) no matter how broke you are, it still does X
- (It's quick, easy and simple because...) no matter how strong the competition is (+ imagery example), it still does X
- (It's quick, easy and simple because...) no matter HOW you're doing or WERE doing with the skill this product teaches before (whether it's example A, B, C or D), it still does X

P.S: why not check out John Carlton? I learned my copywriting from him, and he has a killer blog about it

Thanks
1 reply

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mechaet 17 years ago

Hi, I am new to the FORUM, but I can't resist to put my 2 cents in for a headline:

IT'S TRUE! THE WALL STREET CRASH IS COMING.
IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED, YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE. HERE ARE PROVEN METHODS TO SHOVEL SNOW AT ECONOMIC POISON. PREVENT PAIN AND DISASTER NOW!
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Regards, Jim Young
***Free Businesses That Are Right For You***
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RareGoodStuff

17 years ago

"Revealed" has lost it charm. It has come to be associated with scams and fast buck peddlers. "How to" is coming back as necessary tool for a good copy. If you really like "Revealed", add "how to" to your headline.
Try this title: Revealed: How to survive the worst financial crisis and earn money at the expense of Wall Street.
Your title should always intrigue your reader to take the next step.

Thanks

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kswr123

17 years ago

Thanks really good advice there!

Thanks

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artwebster

17 years ago

What wordy attempts!

Do you want to survive this recession?

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You might not like what I say - but I believe it.
Build it, make money, then build some more
Some old school smarts would help - and here's to Rob Toth for his help. Bloody good stuff, even the freebies!

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justsomeone

17 years ago

Secrets of Surviving the Worst Financial Crisis of the Century
& Gaining from it!!!

Thanks

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imamrktr

17 years ago

"Learn to Thrive Instead of Fighting to Survive During The Current Financial Crisis With These Easy Applied Methods"

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kswr123

17 years ago

yes i like that one too!

Thanks

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write-stuff

17 years ago

I vote for anarchyads version, at least, the first two lines of it.
- Russ

Thanks

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Lavinco

17 years ago

What ever happened to short and sweet. It's a headline. Not en entire excerpt. A title. Something catchy, not so long at first site, that there's no motivation to even read the title.

Think of it as a google search. When sifting through results, do you read the titles or descriptions first? Do you read the descriptions at all. A title in a google search is only about 70 characters long. Aim for the length and people may actually read the entire headline.

Thanks
1 reply

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Magic Johnson 17 years ago

Take It Or Leave It!

"I Will Hand Out More Money
Now Than In The Dusty 1929 Recession"

Read on and I explain why 2009 could make you fortunes...
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Please help with my headline!

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