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Basic grammer question

by perryny
21 replies
What's the proper usage of capitalization and placement of punctuation in the following sentences?

Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited for this newfound gadget. But I seem to recall a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler. (Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?)

Thanks for your help.
-Robert
#basic #grammer #question
  • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
    Did I just walk into a high-school English class by accident?

    --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author Toniy
    Originally Posted by perryny View Post

    What's the proper usage of capitalization and placement of punctuation in the following sentences?

    Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited for this newfound gadget. But I seem to recall a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler. (Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?)

    Thanks for your help.
    -Robert
    I might be able to help...

    Ok here's the thing... there's English Language Grammar and there's Sales Copy Grammar.

    Sales Copy Grammar is literally written the way we talk, and breaks many rules of English Language Grammar.

    It's important to get it right though because it can completely change what's being said.

    For example:

    A Woman without her Man is nothing.

    A Woman, without her Man, is nothing.
    A Woman: Without her, Man is nothing.


    Ya see how cool that is?

    Anyway as for your thing Robert my good man...

    My Legit English Language Rewrite:

    Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited about this newfound gadget. I seem to recall however, a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler.

    (Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?)

    Written as Copy English, what you had originally is fine

    As legit English goes... never put And or But after a full stop (yeah man, British English here, no periods outside of the ladies room ). To be honest, you shouldn't really follow any punctuation with a 'but' or an 'and' since they are connectors, as are commas.

    I also changed a couple of words to make it flow better, I hope you don't mind.

    Anyway, take or leave the advice, but those are my thoughts... hope it helps sir

    I might have it wrong by the way, I guessed your context. That's what I meant about the man / woman thing... context is critical.

    I assumed something new has come out that everyone laughed at but now kinda want. Like an iPhone skateboard or some craziness.
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    • Profile picture of the author perryny
      Toniy, my good man. Awesome. Thank you.

      It's for an article about the current mobile revolution. This is the intro as to how the iPad blew open the tablet market.

      I guess you can say it's about something new that has come out that everyone laughed at but now kinda want.



      The article is going into a respected and widely read publication, which is why I gave a sh*t enough to ask you kind folks for help on this one.

      You came through smashingly.

      Cheers,
      -Robert
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      • Profile picture of the author Toniy
        Originally Posted by perryny View Post

        Toniy, my good man. Awesome. Thank you.

        It's for an article about the current mobile revolution. This is the intro as to how the iPad blew open the tablet market.

        I guess you can say it's about something new that has come out that everyone laughed at but now kinda want.



        The article is going into a respected and widely read publication, which is why I gave a sh*t enough to ask you kind folks for help on this one.

        You came through smashingly.

        Cheers,
        -Robert
        I'm glad to do it mate, I've got a knack for stoopid little things like this

        That picture is thanks enough... godddamnit I actually sniggered. I love it when that happens

        But yeah, this:

        Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited about this newfound gadget. I seem to recall however, a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler.

        (Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?)


        Is EXACTLY how I'd write that sentence, as it appears... the parentheses (brackets) on a new line give emphasis to the thought... it just works well I think

        And if you want credibility, that little extract would previously have earned me $1.85 as a writer... no charge for a friend though

        Congrats on the publications by the way!
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        • Profile picture of the author Gail_Curran
          Well, if we're nitpicking, however should be set off with commas. That is, there should be a comma after recall as well as after however.

          .
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          • Profile picture of the author Toniy
            Originally Posted by Gail_Curran View Post

            Well, if we're nitpicking, however should be set off with commas. That is, there should be a comma after recall as well as after however.

            .
            We aren't nitpicking :p

            You're totally right though Gail... I thought to myself 'shouldn't it be 'recall, however,' ... I'm really sure it should be'... but then I distracted myself, I think maybe a fly came into the room... and I lapsed to adjust it.

            Also I've been using Sales Copy Grammar for months now... my mistake certainly, but one that can surely be forgiven... amazing the difference 4 pixels make, huh?
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  • Profile picture of the author CollegeEducated
    Forgive me, SP here.

    You put grammer in the title. Not grammar.

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  • Profile picture of the author onlinecasinodeck
    Originally Posted by perryny View Post

    What's the proper usage of capitalization and placement of punctuation in the following sentences?

    Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited for this newfound gadget. But I seem to recall a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler. (Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?)

    Thanks for your help.
    -Robert
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  • Profile picture of the author LeonForLinks
    I don't think "newfound" is a word - it should be "new-found". I'm not sure about the correctness of the sentence in brackets, but then I'm not sure there are any grammatical rules about putting whole sentences in brackets - I wouldn't do it, anyway.
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    • Profile picture of the author Toniy
      Originally Posted by LeonForLinks View Post

      I don't think "newfound" is a word - it should be "new-found". I'm not sure about the correctness of the sentence in brackets, but then I'm not sure there are any grammatical rules about putting whole sentences in brackets - I wouldn't do it, anyway.
      No, no... Newfound is definitely a legitimate word

      And the element of parentheses / brackets on a new line, I know where you're coming from, but it's there more for readability.

      In retrospect, we could probably toss the brackets altogether and use ellipsis (...) instead:

      Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited about this newfound gadget. I seem to recall however, a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler... Remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?

      Fair play Leon, good point :p
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  • Profile picture of the author petrejackmartin
    Does anyone help me explain the meaning of following sentences? Are all of these correct? Is the meaning the same? How will you rewrite the sentence?

    1. it is difficult to understand what the teacher talks about.

    2. the teacher talks about something that are difficult to understand.

    3. the teacher talks about what is difficult to understand.An honorary professor and part-time lecturer of linguistics at Bangor University in Wales, Crystal has been conducting research in language studies since the early 1960s.
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    • Profile picture of the author Toniy
      Originally Posted by petrejackmartin View Post

      Does anyone help me explain the meaning of following sentences? Are all of these correct? Is the meaning the same? How will you rewrite the sentence?

      1. it is difficult to understand what the teacher talks about.

      2. the teacher talks about something that are difficult to understand.

      3. the teacher talks about what is difficult to understand.An honorary professor and part-time lecturer of linguistics at Bangor University in Wales, Crystal has been conducting research in language studies since the early 1960s.
      I wish I didn't love language so much....

      Ok.... let's go



      1. it is difficult to understand what the teacher talks about.

      Meaning: The teacher talks about complicated subjects. Maybe it's the subject that's complicated, maybe the teacher doesn't explain things well enough.

      Rewrite:

      If it's the subject that's complicated: It is difficult to understand what the teacher talks about.

      If it's the teacher explaining things badly: It is difficult to understand what the teacher means.



      2. the teacher talks about something that are difficult to understand.

      Meaning: The subject the teacher is talking about is complicated, or difficult to understand.

      Rewrite: The teacher talks about some things that are difficult to understand. (Plural... 'things' and 'are'... talking about more than one thing)

      or

      The teacher talks about something that is difficult to understand. (Singular... 'something' and 'is'... talking about just one thing)



      3.       the teacher talks about what is difficult to understand.

      An honorary professor and part-time lecturer of linguistics at Bangor University in Wales, Crystal has been conducting research in language studies since the early 1960s.

      (The second bit about 'honorary professor' is perfect, so I'm just looking at the first part...)

      Meaning: This could mean a few things, because they way it's written is quite vague.

      a) The teacher is telling you about things that are 'defined' as being complicated... or rather, things that are generally considered to be complicated, or difficult to understand, by most people.

      b) The teacher is talking about the complicated subject.

      With the extra information about the professor, I would guess that, if the sentence related to the Professor, the sentence meant a).

      Rewrite: Assuming it is a) I would write: The teacher talks about 'what is difficult to understand'.

      The 'quote marks' separates the 'what is difficult to understand' part, and makes it the subject. The same way you could say "The teacher talks about a horse" instead of "the teacher talks about horse".



      There are a lot of subtleties in English... I've had to assume a couple of things but I think that's pretty much what you're looking for Petre

      Hope it helps!

      (Wasn't expecting to ever have this conversation on the Warrior Forum :p)
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      • Profile picture of the author davesghostwriting
        One other thing. It could be the teacher has a speech impediment, accent or a really bad cold and that's why they are difficult to understand

        Dave
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    • Profile picture of the author Azarna
      Originally Posted by petrejackmartin View Post

      3. the teacher talks about what is difficult to understand.An honorary professor and part-time lecturer of linguistics at Bangor University in Wales, Crystal has been conducting research in language studies since the early 1960s.
      David Crystal is great. His books on English are fascinating, easy to read and full of 'ooh, I didn't know THAT' moments.

      I studied a few of them whilst doing my degree, and have read many of the others since - highly recommended to anyone who enjoys this crazy language :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author RobBritt
    My grammer was no good at spelling but my grampa was..
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  • Profile picture of the author peejaydee
    I thought I'd give a rewrite a go as well since no one has pointed out that parenthesis shouldn't be after the full stop (or period, if you're Britishly challenged).

    ...and you'd never be excited 'for' something - you'd be excited 'about' something.
    ...and never start a sentence with 'but'. The whole point of 'but' is to join elements of sentences/arguments together.

    Rewrite:

    Some loyal iPhone users seemed pretty excited about this new-found gadget but I seem to recall a good deal of indifference and even some chuckles around the water cooler (remember the pictures of four iPhones taped together?).

    You could also just remove the parenthesis and let the question stand as a sentence in its own right.
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