Need Help With Tag/Headline

by jcbradley

Posted: 13 years ago 14 replies

COPY WRITING

Hey guys, starting offline local marketing and trying to come up with a good headline for home page. here is what i have so far.. nothing quite grabs me but you see where i am trying to go.

Marketing online isn't an option -- its a necessity

Marketing online isn't an option anymore -- its a necessity

Marketing online today is a necessity -- not an option

Marketing online is a requirement for businesses today

Thanks in advance,

chris

#tag or headline

Mark Andrews Banned 13 years ago

Ideally we need to know a bit more information about your business Chris to proffer some good suggestions.

Have you got a link to your site there?

Best,

Mark Andrews
- Thanks
- 1 reply
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- nova37 13 years ago
  
  How about:
  
  [Company name] helps you market your business online. Give us a call today.
  
  That's a generic headline that could work. Is there a specific type (industry) of local business that you're doing marketing for?
  
  Thanks
  
  2 replies
  
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  Mark Andrews Banned 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by nova37
  
  How about:
  
  [Company name] helps you market your business online. Give us a call today.
  
  A tagline is a very specific description
  of your website or service.
  
  It's got to be very strongly benefit
  driven.
  
  Mark Andrews
  
  Thanks
  
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  Steve The Copywriter 13 years ago
  
  Hi Chris,
  
  A quick thought,
  
  And 2 even quicker headlines which you can work on.
  
  Most companies probably know they need to be online - but aren't making any money.
  
  So the benefit is you'll make them money.
  
  I prefer saying it without the "hype" - millions, zillions or gazillions.
  
  “You Know You Have To Market Online
  
  We’ll Show You How It’s Done Properly
  
  So You'll Make Real Money”
  
  (And we mean lot's of money)
  
  “Marketing Online Could Be Costing You A Fortune
  
  We’ll Show You How It’s Done Properly
  
  So You’ll Make Real Money”
  
  (And we mean lot’s of money)
  
  Steve
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html
  
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  Venus Brown 13 years ago
  
  I like "You know you have to market online"
  
  For marketing your product the very first step is have a catchy and appealing punchline.
  I would suggest you to use flash or attractive background image also.
  
  [ 1 ] Thanks
  
  Signature
  Social Network Developers
  
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helisell 13 years ago

Attention All Small Business Owners.

Discover how business owners just like you are
thriving by bringing in floods of new cash rich
customers with nothing more than a simple piece of
information and a high speed internet connection.

Call me Now
- Thanks
Signature

Making Calls To Sell Something? What are you actually saying?
Is there any room for improvement? Want to find out?
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NickC 13 years ago

Chris - it seems to me you have your positioning wrong.

All of your tag lines are aimed at people who don't know they need online marketing.

And that's a tough sell.

To paraphrase Eugene Schwartz, when you try to create desire, it is no longer advertising but education.

So instead of "You need online marketing because..." I would be coming at it from "We're the best company to do your online marketing because..."
- Thanks
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bankableResults 13 years ago

How about this:

The CEO of XYZ (a local company they recognize) says...

"<your name> doubled our income in two months with his simple online marketing strategies."

Of course this headline needs more work.

However. The psychology is there, and it has built in proof. It does the primary job of a headline: Lures the reader into the second paragraph.

Anyway. If you want to use this angle, your copy would tell the story of how this local CEO was sceptical about marketing his company online... it seemed complicated and difficult etc.

Then (for a reason I can´t think of right now) he decided to give it a try. He hired you to write the copy for his landing page (or whatever you do). And the results was better than he expected. The only regret he has now is that he didn´t hire you and took his company online sooner.

Of course, if you are going to use this... you have to make sure you use a true story... cause...

...Karma is a bitch.

I hope this was helpful.

//Sara
- [ 1 ] Thanks
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AngieDixon 13 years ago

I don't like "You know you have to market online." Just me, personally, but I don't like people telling me "You know this..." "You want to do this..."

I agree that it's why you're the best, not why they need it. Just being the devil's advocate with not liking "You know..." It turns me off. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Angie
- [ 1 ] Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Angie Dixon--Designer, Writer
Creative Director
Evil Guinea Pig Productions
http://www.EvilGuineaPigProductions.com
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- Steve The Copywriter 13 years ago
  
  Angie,
  
  No problem.
  
  I used the Robert Collier (one of the "old" master copywriters) technique - "enter the conversation the client is having in their mind"
  
  Or to be more accurate "the conversation the client may be having..." (because it's not always possible to be a mind reader).
  
  The "conversation" I think Chris's target audience is having goes something like this -
  
  "Yea I know I have to market online - and I am - virtually everybody else is - and I want the maximum revenues I can get - but I'm just not making the money I need - so I'm not doing it well enough - I want to learn how or have it all done properly - so I can make lots of money"
  
  I've used the types of headlines I posted stacks of times with great success.
  
  But with any headline - it's subjective - not everyone will like it.
  
  Steve
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html
  
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iThinkhard 13 years ago

How about this?
"The world will end in 2012 but not Online Marketing"

lol. I will kick my a## if you use it
- Thanks
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ThomasOMalley

13 years ago

Some helpful suggestions here for you.

Also, check out Barry Callen's book, Perfect Phrases for Sales and Marketing Copy at amazon.com. He has some excellent info. on taglines.

Best,

Thomas O'Malley

Thanks
1 reply

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jcbradley

13 years ago

Hey guys, thanks for everyone replying and sorry been MIA here, was out of town for a week and internet connection was horrible at the hotel, and this was a nice hotel..grrr and then just finally getting caught back up after taking 10 days off.

Originally Posted by Mark Andrews

Ideally we need to know a bit more information about your business Chris to proffer some good suggestions.

Have you got a link to your site there?

Best,

Mark Andrews

Mark, right now we are what ill call an online marketing consultancy business. though we offer design, we are mainly targeting small local biz to help grow their business through seo, google places to start and then upsell on social media, email/backend marketing, mobil, etc.

Originally Posted by Steve Copywriter

Hi Chris,

A quick thought,

And 2 even quicker headlines which you can work on.

Most companies probably know they need to be online - but aren't making any money.

So the benefit is you'll make them money.

I prefer saying it without the "hype" - millions, zillions or gazillions.

"You Know You Have To Market Online

We'll Show You How It's Done Properly

So You'll Make Real Money"

(And we mean lot's of money)

"Marketing Online Could Be Costing You A Fortune

We'll Show You How It's Done Properly

So You'll Make Real Money"

(And we mean lot's of money)

Steve

Steve, i agree, dont want the hype. It appears most of clients we call on are not dong anything online and the ones who are, either doing it wrong and not getting results or are getting royally screwed over.

Not sure if the .. make real money grabs me but ill throw it to by partners and start to brainstorm on that one.

Originally Posted by NickC

Chris - it seems to me you have your positioning wrong.

All of your tag lines are aimed at people who don't know they need online marketing.

And that's a tough sell.

To paraphrase Eugene Schwartz, when you try to create desire, it is no longer advertising but education.

So instead of "You need online marketing because..." I would be coming at it from "We're the best company to do your online marketing because..."

Nick, i do like what you started here, i use this on a B2B site that I picked up from Dan Kennedy. Ill be adding this to the side bar underneath picture. Right now, i need a short tag line on the home.

Originally Posted by Steve Copywriter

Angie,

No problem.

I used the Robert Collier (one of the "old" master copywriters) technique - "enter the conversation the client is having in their mind"

Or to be more accurate "the conversation the client may be having..." (because it's not always possible to be a mind reader).

The "conversation" I think Chris's target audience is having goes something like this -

"Yea I know I have to market online - and I am - virtually everybody else is - and I want the maximum revenues I can get - but I'm just not making the money I need - so I'm not doing it well enough - I want to learn how or have it all done properly - so I can make lots of money"

I've used the types of headlines I posted stacks of times with great success.

But with any headline - it's subjective - not everyone will like it.

Steve

Steve, you're right on there.

Originally Posted by ThomasOMalley

Some helpful suggestions here for you.

Also, check out Barry Callen's boook, Perfect Phrases for Sales and Marketing Copy at amazon.com. He has some excellent info. on taglines.

Best,

Thomas O'Malley

Thank you, ordering that after this post

Thanks

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sonu703 13 years ago

deciding company name and tag line is worst part for me. good luck.
- Thanks
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