Copywriting Help For a Local Business Website

7 replies
I am designing some websites for a company and the sites are getting some good traffic, but I thinking the home page needs some re-writing to perform better.

Can some of the experts take a look and offer some suggestions on how I can help make this page perform better.

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#business #copywriting #local #website
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    You need to pay a copywriter to completely redo this.

    It's not even worth trying to fix.

    Tell them to get their copywriting budget together and invest in putting themselves out there right.

    If someone here wants to take a crack at helping you, that's cool.

    This is (as my grandmother would say) ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS!

    It would take WAY less time to start over from total scratch.

    Mark

    P.S. I personally think that asking for critique for something you're being paid for isn't kosher. In my humble opinion, the design aspects of building an online business takes a back seat to the copy. Cart... then horse.
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  • Profile picture of the author mikeroosa
    Thanks Mark. Honestly they aren't paying me to rewrite the page. I'm building some other sites for them, but I thought that page could use some help as I was reading it.

    If her conversions would increase I know she'll pay for someone to help her.
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  • I would start over on this home page. Pick one call to action for the home page and build the copy around that. Put all the rest on secondary pages.

    Build a sales funnel. 50% or more of the people interested in this product will make not make a buying decision today but they will in the next 18 months. Capture their email and begin a relationship with them.

    Here are good examples of simple homepages with a clear call to action:
    http://www.kronikmedia.co.uk/blog/7e...ebdesign/1946/
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    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Mike, best to introduce her to the forum or the copywriters list sticky perhaps, and let her take it from there. Then you're not directly attached to the outcome or financially responsible (as you would be if you subbed the work out).
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    I agree with my fellow warriors.

    This is not a simple touch-up job.

    You have to write this web page from scratch with a single focus and call to action.

    Best,

    Thomas O'Malley
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  • Profile picture of the author Vibes
    Definitely needs a copywriting makeover..
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