need feeback on music product

17 replies
need feedback on this

http://sellbeatsformula.com
#feeback #music #product
  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    Originally Posted by Wage Mills View Post

    need feedback on this

    Sell Beats Formula
    I have the fastest internet available...the signal is beamed translucently via 3 satellites orbiting the earth...the signal is then immediately beamed to my hexadomal receiver in nano seconds.

    Matter of fact...it's the latest in nano technology.

    Your site took so long to load...the Chinese were alerted to the increased load of stellar transmissions...don't worry...we averted a scramble of air power through some quick negotiations.

    When your site did load, my initial reaction was, WTF.

    Still is.

    You need to hire a competent copywriter...
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  • Profile picture of the author vic alexander
    Just a thought.

    If you do paragraphs, it is easier on the eye than reading downwards. Also, anything that stands out as importand put in bold.

    Good luck
    victoria
    Signature

    Vic Alexander

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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    You have an interesting idea, but the execution is awful.

    You received similar comments last time you asked.

    Again, you have an interesting germ of an idea, just poorly executed. Why don't just hire someone who can help you and really build it out?

    - Rick Duris
    Signature
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Its a music product. A beats product. And yet...there's not a whisper on your page. Do you really think any potential beats producer is going to get excited over this offer?

    That is quite possibly the worst salespage I've ever seen.

    We interrupt this program to bring you some real entertainment -
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    • Profile picture of the author ASCW
      Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

      Its a music product. A beats product. And yet...there's not a whisper on your page. Do you really think any potential beats producer is going to get excited over this offer?

      That is quite possibly the worst salespage I've ever seen.

      We interrupt this program to bring you some real entertainment - YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
      Thanks Mal, a little Michael Jackson really did the trick.
      Signature

      Site being revamped.

      If you want help with copy stuff, pm me.

      Cool.

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  • Profile picture of the author RealSEOMarket
    Banned
    Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come
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    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by RealSEOMarket View Post

      Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come
      Can't believe you haven't made $10 off that in a WSO yet.
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  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    There's too many words and there's an odd pause between reading each sentence because of the spacing.

    So many words, but none of them really make me interested enough to keep reading. If I were a beatmaker and there were no samples or videos to look at on the home page, I'm gone.
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

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  • Profile picture of the author Duncan2222
    YOur sales page needs a lot of work. as with other poster responses here your idea is a good one. I could bullet point some of the highlights and I would also add some images. A good place to get a product cover box is at fiverr.com. there you can find anyone to design it for $5. Chck out my site here. I wrote this copy. Maybe you should hire a copywriter. Get On American Idol: Secrets Revealed « My Idol Time
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  • Profile picture of the author monkeytrousers
    I guess I don't get it. Is "sell beats" even a keyword? I guess if you have a bunch of beats that need to be sold...

    I would go from a more industry angle. Does your product get them in touch with important people in the music industry? Does it tell them how to have dinner with Jay-Z? Or is it just another rehash of The Secret?

    If I wanted to break into the music industry, first of all, I'd probably be looking for the keywords "break into the music industry" or something similar. I would most definitely not be looking for positive affirmations. And the fact that I'm more confused by your bonus than excited means that you didn't say anything about your main product that sounds interesting.

    Success stories? Testimonials? What is SoundClick and why should I care?

    Maybe give away a couple free samples to real writers and let them write something better that you can turn into a real sales page.

    Also, headlines, pictures, formatting... an all centered page screams of 90's amateur "About Me" websites. Go to ThemeForest and get a template or something. Or even do it in Wordpress.

    As it stands, your product might interest me if you sold it for $5. You need to add another $22 worth of dazzle to the site if you ever expect to do well with it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Azarna
    Originally Posted by Wage Mills View Post

    need feedback on this

    Sell Beats Formula
    You couldn't even be bothered to add a little please?
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    • Profile picture of the author Pecan
      Not sure if you're still interested in feedback, but something I noticed is your complete lack of credibility. I think that alone would help tremendously.
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  • Profile picture of the author miserman
    Your site is good but i found very little content on it. You need to add some videos, pictures and some more information about your lesson. I hope that will work. Good Luck
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  • Profile picture of the author Carl Juneau
    Hi Wage,

    A quick tip I'd give you is to make your first sentence big, bold, and dark red.

    That's proven to grab attention and pull your readers into your copy.

    And if they can't read... you can't sell 'em.

    Good luck!

    Carl
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  • Profile picture of the author TimRobinson
    Hi Wage,

    Your sales page does need a lot of work but it's a good start.

    I've done a video critique of your sales page where I detail everything that needs to be improved here:


    Cheers, Tim
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    There's really no way to be nice about this and still be honest. It's horrible. No design, no urgency, no imagination.

    This is a perfect example of how trying to "save money" by doing it yourself could cost you thousands in lost sales...that is if you ever get a sale which I doubt.

    Good news is, you've got a hot product. Hire a copywriter and designer. Stop trying to "save money" by doing it yourself.
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  • Profile picture of the author Colin Fox
    Woah, this will have people selling their beats in 1 - 2 weeks? Even without any prior experience? You need proofs, vids, testimonials. The bonus, you need to prove that you know the secrets of Jay Z etc. How do you know them... There isn't even a pic of the product... Basically, its as everyone else said. You need a proper website with about us, contact details, proper copy, easy to navigate, simple design, loads of articles and free help guides. The problem is I'm thinking $27 isn't worth it as you haven't shown me value. Always Overdeliver...
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