Looking for Sales Copy DIRECTION - Need URGENTLY!

Where is your traffic coming from? Do you know or is it all from your freelancers?

I don't see any sales copy...only an ecommerce store...the background looks a bit sloppy imo, and I'd consider changing it to something else....and on the top right all I see is "ade your way to new" instead of "trade your way etc"

Oh now I see what you're talking about! Long copy is usually a turn off...people are lazy and want the meat and potatoes of whatever you have to say.

I'd go into more detail about your major points, because I'm left wondering how the trading works, and what the benefits are exactly.

Woah.

My left eye whipped around one way and my right the other, and now they're both in traction...

This template is waaaay too busy.

I, also, cannot find your copy.

The idea that this is some kind of online swap meet does register, but then I don't know where to go. Your site should guide your visitor.

The main page should explain the concept and no one should see the page as it is now.....
until you have explained it to them.

So you need a benefit lead headline. A sub head and some copy that explains what this site is all about.
How you dreamed it up. Who is involved. Why people use the site...plus any other benefits you can think of.

That should get you started...then google for "how to make a website convert" and start
learning more about the elements needed.

Looks like a good concept but you have quite a bit of work to do.

Good luck

I appreciate all of your feedback thus far.

I have a large network of these sites, and local moms running them. I really just wanted the items on the homepage to show upon arrival. I can put in a bit more text. More of a description as mentioned.) My only real problem thus far is not knowing if the little register page is doing a really good job. Considering I have 3k+ of these pages I want/need them to convert. I am just looking for a way to really make them convert. Thanks again for the input this far.

helisell great points! I will start implementing your advice pronto. Thanks

Your homepage is way too busy.

You need a powerful headlines that tells your visitors that they have come to the right place.

Then some powerful body copy.

Get a copy of Dan Furman's Do the Web Write at amazon.com. That will help you with online conversion. I also like Ben Hunt's book called Convert!...check it out at amazon.com.

Best of luck,

Thomas O'Malley

Hmmm, I'm confused by your landing page. If you're trying to make a sale from that alone, forget it. You've got to start with a benefit headline and walk me through the entire process. What the heck are you doing?

It needs a lot of work; a lot of copy; and a whole lot of WIIFM.

Bruce

PS: Dayem girl! You put the M in milf LOL

Hmmm... Can you give me some input Bruce? I am offering MOMS a chance to trade their stuff with other MOMS. The moms come to the site based on an item, IE a posting for a pack and play, they see the pack and play is free, another mom just wants to trade it. However being apart of MOMtraders means there is a fee, the fee is because we have local moms in each County managing their sites, adding trade items ect. MOMS feel empowered helping other moms, so that is not the problem. The problem is I want them to be so happy and excited to be apart of the community that they happily open their wallets. So how can I convey this? Thanks for the input so far.

What sales copy?

Why is what you call "sales copy" only on the Register page, not the Home page? Do your visitors start on the Register page? Or if they first arrive on the Home page, do they already understand what the program is about?

Anyway, knowing "how to convert" requires knowing the exquisite details of the art of copywriting and page layout/design. One dimension of this art is to be able to totally live in your prospects' shoes during concept and creation. This piece shows that you know what you're talking about but have given little or no thought to what your target market needs to know. You've taken the easiest road to message creation while also emphasizing features (the dizzying clutter of product images) and obscuring benefits. That's just a general comment for starters.

If you expect results, the whole thing needs a total revamp by a bona fide expert. It's so bad, I don't think getting piecemeal feedback for free and you trying to stick it together will do the job, although all the comments so far are all correct in their own right. Want more from Bruce? Please offer to pay for it.

Good luck,
MBDirect

I'm in agreement with the other posters in here.

1.) That background is messed up. I see writing and pictures appearing then disappearing. Bloody confusing if I may say so...change it to something more simply and stylish.


2.) What copy? There's nothing to entice anyone to buy there. You need to hire someone to write you something.



Ben.

Hi momtraders- I checked out some of your other posts to get a better handle on what your site is and your challenges. I think you are going too fast right now.

You mentioned that you had 360 sign-ups for the Polk County page in 2 days! I think you need to concentrate on the overall site design and functionality at this point.

You do need good copy but first I would simplify your whole operation. If you don't take time to do it now it will never scale, your moms will get frustrated and leave and/or you'll burn yourself to a crisp from overwork.

I don't know anything about trading stuff although one time my brother tried to trade our sister to another family for a BBQ grill and 5 new hockey sticks. My mom stopped that one.

But take a look at this site. It is top 45K in Alexa rankings:
Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com

Notice how simple everything is. There don't have 45 graphics, just one good graphic in the middle of the page (not counting the ads).

Let's look at the FAQ. Clean and clear--even with a search function.

Check out the JOIN tab. Some simple bullets with a little social proof and a simple graphic of a baby (not mine). Then you see one big text box to pick a username, put in some passwords, an email and you are off.

Want something even simpler? Look at this one:
TradingCradles.com is a Free Marketplace for Parents to Buy & Sell Gently Used Strollers, Baby Clothes, Baby Gear & Other Stuff.

Hubspot's home page is a good model for a clean, functional site.
HubSpot Inbound Marketing Software

Here are 12 main homepage elements they trying to implement:
12 Critical Elements Every Homepage Must Have [Infographic]

Notice how simply they state what the site is about:

"It's time to reshape the way we think about marketing. Stop pushing. Start attracting. Stop interrupting. Start engaging. HubSpot's Inbound Marketing Software gives you all the tools you need to make marketing that people will actually love - earning quality leads and loyal customers in return.

• Get Found: Help prospects find you online
• Convert: Nurture your leads and drive conversions
• Analyze: Measure and improve your marketing
• And more: Access the marketplace for apps and integrations"

And then a call to action:
"Request A Demo" or "Free Trial"

If you click "Full Feature Set" it goes to an expanded explanation of their services and products. You may want to emulate this model. Have a clear, concise homepage with additional pages that go into greater detail. Always ask "What do I want them to do next." Don't let them think.

You may also want to talk to an enterprise-level Wordpress expert (even if you are one). A high-level caching system will rapidly become a priority, especially with multi-sites. It's better to map out your plans to cache the site properly now before it gets much bigger. A few well-timed crashes of a fast-growing international site will make you want to jump off the building.

I also wonder if you are priced too low. I would test that in a few counties.

Slow down. Simplify. Then scale. Get rich.

Hope that helps.