This Site Converts Already - What Can I Improve?

I'd like a stronger headline that really grabbed me by the throat. You have a good start with the indented paragraph, "Do you think spending 2 hours..."

The headline could be something along these lines:

Why Waste 2 Hours Going To The Gym When You Can Get EXPLOSIVE Results From Working Out At Home -- For Only 25 Minutes/3x A Week?!!

It's not perfect, but something that would emphasize the time sink of heading to another location to work out, PLUS having an exercise regimen that took less time but got better results, would definitely catch my eye.

First of all...

Never, ever start by putting yourself down in the copy.

And make sure you know your facts.

P90X is EASY to beat - both in results and time spent.

I've done the full P90X.

I got BETTER results from my own formulation of high-intensity interval training routines - doing maximum 20 minutes a day.

And they were ALL body weight exercises. No equipment. More like Insanity (which also beats P90X.)

Anyway...

Then I click over to MAX Workouts and the information there is fairly solid.

You simply need to be more audacious and confident in your claims, because IF people DO follow your program, they WILL achieve GUARANTEED RESULTS.

You can't leave space for that little nay-saying voice in people's heads that allows them to second guess your copy.

You have to overwhelm them with your authority and KNOWING that what you're offering them WILL change their lives forever!

When you can successfully come from that perspective in your copy, boom... magic.

Mark Pescetti

I agree with the above - I would hesitate in saying "You can't beat P90X." First of all, that doesn't trigger any positive emotional response to what I know as the reader you are about to offer. Also, just taking it out completely and getting straight to the benefits of what you have, like you do, would be much better. Focus on all the positive features of this program, and don't the reader a chance to even think about other programs.

Agree with everyone else above, but I think the entire thing can be redone honestly.

First, the blog doesn't have a real "identity", or the identity it has now just seems weak. Its just called "excercise routines blog", idk but I'm not really feeling such a general name.

Then the headline like everyone said reads too matter a fact. Yet the one someone submitted in this thread feels too hyped.

I'd first try to find out how many people have bought maxworkouts.

Say its 37,000 people just for example.

I'd take that number and REDO the caption under the picture to something like "Find Out Why 37,000 People Are Using Maxworkouts To VAPORIZE Fat Off Their Bodies!"

The caption you have there now is incredibly boring.

Your lead in is also not too compelling. You say "You can't beat P90x period, its just too good".
I hate saying things like that personally.

ALWAYS try to make it seem like other people are saying its good, not you.
Because if the reader disagrees with you, they're NOT really disagreeing with YOU personally.

You also frame maxworkouts as the "cheaper alternative". I'm sorry to say, but that sounds like copywriting suicide. Like "hey I know you really want x product, but I have a cheaper alternative for you.. and guess what?! Product y takes less time to do too!"

It just doesn't flow right.

I'd remove "cheaper alternative" and make it like "costs less, and ALSO takes less time to do!" "Cheaper alternative" just sounds cheap is my point.

Then this:

Do you think that spending 2 hours at the gym socializing, waiting for machines to open up, and reading fitness magazines is a good use of time? Not to mention the time it takes to drive to the gym, shower, and drive back.

Sounds too much like you're trying to sell something. You need to make it sell itself. You shouldn't be pushy, but you need to bait people psychologically into thinking the gym is a waste of time. Don't TELL them, SHOW them WHY its a waste of time.

To be honest, its going to take a lot of time to go through this blog and give you thorough recommendations. Do you have any good frames of reference to work with?
Are you comparing your work to Gary Halbert?

I have one of his weight loss ads open right now (just to get ideas) and the difference seems night & day by how he frames his products. How he leads people in, how he overall "sells" it to them.

Its all about framing & positioning imo. You frame something the right way, people will buy it. You try to shove something in peoples faces, you trigger their resistance. This is what always impressed me about Gary Halbert when I read his ads I don't get this "pushy" feeling I DO however feel "pulled" into buying his product.

Thats the type of dynamic you want, a chase dynamic. Formulate a case that is so compelling you don't need to convince people of anything. Lower the risk, make it a nobrainer. Social proof the hell out of it, testimonies, I'm not seeing any right now.

Overall the entire blog needs to be redone imo. There are some decent parts of it, but you can really try a lot harder imo. If you get stuck at any points, NLP books tend to help me a lot when I'm working on stuff. They just give you the right perspective imo about how things need to be framed to build value, rather than take away value.

Good luck!

-Red

You should decide what you're trying to accomplish.

If you want a sales letter site, then write a real sales letter.

If you want an authority site or blog, then create articles for the site.

You seem to be trying a mix of both...a dog that won't hunt.

Thank you all for the advice.

I tried to create a presell for the affiliate product. Not quite a sales page, but enough to build trust, weed out my NON-target audience, and "sell the click" to the merchant page.

Raza