Is This A Page That Will Convert?

It's pretty vanilla. The layout and site is appealing but there's not much of a compelling reason to seek more info. The short video pretty much has the same info as the text.

If you want to grab attention try something like this:

In This Financial Climate Short Selling Makes Sense!

A stock might take a year or more to go from five to ten. And it might take a day or two to turn around and go right back to five. That's the market for you.

It's a fact. Stocks more often lose value far quicker than they gain it. We're here to capitalize on the momentum created by that rapid, downward move. It's our specality. And since downward momentum is often so much quicker and easier to predict than an upward move, that's where we concentrate. It's not quite shooting fish in a barrel, but it's close. Are you in?

Find out more...

I'm a website designer and writer by trade, but I'm new to IM. However I can safely say with some experience that your site is typical of a main stream corporate website. Without wanting to offend.... It was sending me to sleep (just like most websites in this niche area). It's reading like a corporate presentation at the local motel. You need to write with the view point of the visitor and the only things they want to hear are - What's In It For Me? and How Is This Going To Improve My Situation? When you start writing with this mind-set your site will ooze quality and your conversions will increase.
Hope this helps?

Unfortunately, it's a big yawn. If you get one sign-up, I'd be amazed.

No personality, no passion, no uniqueness. Nothing that differentiates you from everybody else. Plus your offer just plain sucks.

I'd rather be watching Jim Cramer.

Your website does have a couple of redeeming elements but not worth mentioning. Not enough to overcome.

Yours requires a rethinking of your positioning in the marketplace. How do you want to be seen/portrayed? How do you want to be seen compared with all your competitors?

Right now? Your website is unmemorable and unremarkable.

In addition, your strategy for getting folks into your funnel is nonexistent.

You have your work cut out for you, cdogstu77. Good luck.

- Rick Duris

Well Rick nice of you to chime in. And thanks for your response. But instead of 'it just plain sucks' how about steps to reconcile? Oh wait i get it this was a pitch for your services. Makes sense now.

And you'll be happy to know that i actually do have subscribers who are very happy with the service. As a finance guy it is the marketing end that i have trouble with. Hence my reason for the post. I understand when someone wants to prove a point to pitch his services, but you could be a little less obvious next time and actually offer up something of use to the community.

Pretty colors, looks professional. But, I wouldn't spend a minute reading anything on the site. I'd have to be heavy into short stocks.

I'll add to what I've already said. There's no truly compelling reason to do much on this page. Right now there's a thread here about how to arrive at a hook for an offer. That's what you're missing, a hook.

You're asking for $49/mo or $499/yr for a membership. Those are significant amounts. You haven't done nearly enough convincing (translated as selling) to get most people to join.

The thing is, a compelling pitch on short selling would be pretty easy to put together. But that pitch is going to have to get your visitors excited, so they can taste the profits. Again, not hard to do when you know what buttons to push.

This is one area I know fairly well as I sold a pricey swing trading seminar from the podium back in the go-go days of the tech. boom.

make it 500-600 px wide and bigger font size.

Get rid of that Fossil thing...

... and what do you want me to do on your page?!

For me this whole theme doesn't add up at all... not for this market...

Who wrote the video for you?

It's not doing anything, believe me.

First off, there's no pitch, Chris. Show me a pitch. I wasn't looking for your business. If I wanted it, I'd blow in your ear and sweet talk you.

Did I? No.

My sole reason was/is to help you.

Let's move on.

----

I called your baby ugly deliberately. It wasn't a pitch and more importantly, it wasn't a "drive by."

I wanted to get your attention.

Did I?

Next, I wanted to give you direction. Unfortunately, you misinterpreted or you took my critique as an insult.

It's ok, as you'll see, it's not your fault. Sometimes I speak in code, I drop hints, and I leave breadcrumbs.

Today, I'm deliberately steering the conversation OFF THE TOPIC OF COPYWRITING to where you need help the most. I left the specifics OUT so OTHERS (i.e. the community) could contribute to you in ways where you'd get the most benefit, perspective and options.

And as you'll read in a moment, I gave you everything you needed to know to improve conversions IF you are willing to follow through.

----

Before I do that, let me say I'm sincerely happy for you that you have subscribers. How many? At what price point? How long have they been members? What was the traffic source? How much did it cost you to convert? How long did it take? What's your attrition?

Answer these questions if you can.

See Chris, just saying you have subscribers doesn't do anything. Except maybe to try and prove me wrong, which you haven't.

For all we know you have two subscribers and you comped both in. Who knows?

So fill in the details.

You may have just given us a clue. For membership sites, the secret is this: If you have one member, you can have two. And if you have two, you can have four. Etc.

So my sincere question is "How'd you get the first ones? What did you do and say?"

What are their attributes/similarities?

Your answer could yield the secret to growing your membership site.

----

And read my critique again. I told you what to do to improve.

You just didn't see it. So let's try it again.

1) Position yourself. Your expert opinions are weak and unmemorable.

Take a stand on something and stick to it. Wave it as a banner. I didn't mention the name Jim Cramer for my health, buddy. Can you take a hint?

His books:

Amazon.com: jim cramer

Get'em. Inhale them. Don't read them for knowledge. Read them for style, passion and presentation.

2) Have a personality. Be real. (You don't even give your name. Shame on you! You think people are going to take financial advice from a total stranger? You think people will pay you money for it every month? You gotta be kidding me.)

Share some personal experiences. Not just some flaccid commentary, cute stupid video, or corporate logos.

Let me put it to you another way:

There are people with opinions.

There are people with interests.

There are people who are committed.

Lastly, there people who have convictions. (These folks would die for what they believe.)

By your writing on Shortzilla, which one are you? How can you noticeably ratchet it up?

(Heads up, as you go up the stairs, you will polarize people. But the ones that stick will stick with you for life.)

3) Have a marketing funnel. (Just a gimme $49/mo or $499/yr? Yeah, that'll fly. :\ )

You need a an overall marketing strategy. There are several proven ones for what you're trying to accomplish.

The reason I didn't offer specifics is because THE COMMUNITY has a nice habit of filling in the blanks. There are some damn good implementable ideas that'll probably rise up.

----

For now, understand: No amount of copy, I don't care how good it is, is going to salvage your membership website until you resolve the above.

----

Most of all, do your marketing research. Specifically, look at what your direct and indirect competitors are doing.

Analyze. Study them. Dissect what they're doing. IGNORE THE CONTENT. Reverse engineer.

And then consider your options. Consider doing something contrarian.

If I had your expertise, I'd be the proverbial kid in a candy shop. There's so much you could do.

----

Chris, you don't know me. I don't know you. But I have studied your website.

Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I'm willing to assume that.

It's easy to misinterpret intent on a forum. No BS: My intent was to help you.

Again, good luck with your business.

- Rick Duris

Nope no insults here nor am i offended by Rick's comments. He was just being truthful. Maybe I took it to heart. Sorry about that. Facts are that I am a trained analyst and have spent years investing in the markets. My belief is that my service is worth more than what i charge probably ten times over.

I realize I encountered a tough crowd after I posed my question, but Rick and others I do appreciate the honesty. I have gained my current subscriber base in only a few months via little marketing expense. It might appear from the looks of it that I'm not doing a great job in conveying my message and that is true--since I spend most of my time analyzing stocks anyways. I try to let the proof of my example picks on the site speak for themselves.

I guess I could spend a lot of money coming up with a sales page and some enticing copy and it probably makes sense. But for now i'll just stick to what i know best and hope that the site will grow based on a network effect of happy investors. Thanks again for your help.

No offense Chris but...

...it's about as dry and boring as a camels arse in Timbuktu.

Take stock... (no pun intended)

Will this convert? No. Why not? Because it's lackluster. And utterly mind numbingly boring. Filled with gobbledegook with no reason to subscribe. You've not sold me, nor will you sell anyone else on the scant information provided.

What makes you different?

What makes you unique?

Why should I listen to you?

What specific benefit is there for me to learn from you?

What do you have that I don't?

If you do have something - I'm missing it.

Don't mistake me, I don't mean as in missing out on your offer - I mean...

I'm entirely missing the point of what value is in this. Full stop.

Your pitch is conveyed very poorly indeed.

Nothing here excites me.

Or titillates me.

Or makes me sit up and take notice of you.

Where is your passion?

Where is your conviction?

Is this honestly, really, how you perceive yourself and your business?

Can you honestly sit there and tell me this is how you're going to wing it? If so... Wow! I'm dumbfounded.

Is this a true and real reflection of the faith you have in yourself to deliver the goods? Really? Are you sure about that? I mean really sure? Are you truly positive you want to answer in this manner?

Riddle questions maybe but...

...can you see the point?

For if not - you've got a problem.

For your answer is right here in this thread IF you know how to look for it and identify the information which can help you. (How good are you at reading between the lines?)

Hint... Rick Duris in his first reply to you gave you all the information you need.

How discerning are you to tap into what is there for you...

...being handed to you on a plate, free for the asking if only...

...you know how to pick the nuggets out?

Now, what are you going to do with this piece?


Mark Andrews

PS Have you spoken to Daniel Scott yet? The guy I recommended to you a day or two ago via email? He'll definitely be the best guy here to help you. His expertise in this niche is superb.

I actually like the page from an esthetic point of view. The sales letter isn't and shouldn't be a "one size fits all" kind of deal.

There are indeed problems, but mostly they derive from poor usability.

First issue: your page lacks a focal point. When I first reached it I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Quick fix: move the 3 buttons directly beneath the blue image to obtain first glance visibility.

Second issue: you haven't really thought out the sales funnel structure. Ideally you get their e-mail address first, convince them to buy later. A landing page with a focus on capturing e-mail addresses would work better. Quick fix: none, this requires a major redesign. You could move up the "subscribe box" in the right column to the top though.

Third issue: unprofessional look. Quick fix: ditch the youtube embedded video and use something like flowplayer instead. Also make the site look less "wordpressy" by ditching "recent posts","search", "archives" and "tags". These should be present though on the blog.

Fourth issue: the blue banner is useless. Quick fix: move the video into it. Alternatively you could insert a slideshow with how your picks performed and so on.

These are just some improvements I could think of in a few minutes. There's probably a whole lot more to optimize. Use common sense and try to think in terms of how you want your visitors to react, what exact steps you need them to take and how you can encourage them through the copy and website structure.

Good luck,
George

Currently the way the site is set up the first thing the User is going to read is this:

"Short Stock Picks, Research and Ideas"

Do you think that "sentence" is going to convert? The answer is an obvious no. That should be the first thing that you hit. If you want to convert users in to income you need to tell them what the subscription is going to do for them and how soon they can expect to see results.

The Second thing the user is going to read:

"Make Money Shorting Stocks"

Where is the call to action?? Had you not told me in the OP I would have no idea you were even selling anything or that I needed to sign up.

IMO your site doesn't need a redesign, but it does need an audit from an experienced copywriter.

Also lose the tag cloud, it makes your site look amateur and illegitimate.