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Would This Squeeze Page Make You OPT IN?

by nick111
20 replies
Hey everyone, so I put together this quick page to get traffic to my list for my main skincare niche website. I'm specifically targeting acne sufferers on this squeeze page.

The video on the page is a cheesy animated video i made in less than 2 minutes to get an idea of how a video would look on there.

I plan on making a more extensive 3 minute voiceover video explaining what would the benefits be of subscribing.

Aside from the video, what else could be improved? Thanks!

http://acnesolutions.tk

Also before I forget, is the fact that it is a .tk domain bad? I'm just using it to provide the free information and to get users to opt in.
#make #opt #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    The video made me laugh - the voice overs are fun. And the script is great.

    And like a fool I'm waiting to see what happens...(I didn't read your comments that it's not finished).

    The paragraph needs to flow a lot better.


    The first sentence is good - yes, your people want "gorgeous clear skin"

    And then a shock - there is no cure?

    Bit of a problem - the video did say "your skin can help heal itself"

    Then the last sentence makes it more confusing - "no such thing as perfect" (which is what your people want). So what's the best you can do?

    Try and make everything consistent.

    If there is no actual cure - yes, be honest and say it. Without infering there is.

    But do give a clue WHY there is still a very effective answer.


    You need to power up the bullets.

    This week on the forum seems to be "Squeeze Page Critique" week.

    Rather than just repeat everything.

    Have a look at the other threads.

    You'll get some good info.

    Steve


    P.S. Sorry I have no idea if .tk is good or bad.
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      The video made me laugh - and like a fool I'm waiting to see what happens...

      The first paragraph needs to flow bit better - give some idea, or a clue WHY there is a cure.

      You need to power up the bullets.

      This week on the forum seems to be "Squeeze Page Critique" week.

      Have a look at the other threads.

      You'll get some good info.

      Steve
      Lol the video was just to test it, maybe i should keep it? Or I might make it better.

      Yes, i've been looking at all the threads on squeeze pages getting an idea.

      Thanks for the help Steve!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    This is god awful.

    You're totally shooting yourself in the foot by saying, "there is no cure for acne."

    That's simply not true.

    First of all...

    Acne doesn't just occur because of hormones.

    A great deal of acne (and most major skin issues) is a manifestation of a toxic gut.

    Bad bacteria builds up in the lining of the gut (large intestine, small intestine and colon specifically,) causing inflammation.

    Acne is just one of the results of this process. (Do your research if you want to understand why. Hint: Look up "acne and connective tissue," "acne caused by bacteria" and learn about heavy metal poisoning in the blood.)

    Here's a quick cure that works for people with bacteria born acne: Methylsulfonylmethane (a.k.a. MSM.) It diminishes inflammation and is a key component to rebuilding connective tissue (sulfur.) It'll make the skin glow. It's also great for a whole host of other skin diseases.

    My point here is:

    Not only is your statement untrue, but it's demonstrates a total lack of awareness about what causes acne for most people (teenagers and adults,) while also positioning yourself in a way that will kill your conversions.

    Start over.

    And make sure you're contributing something to the marketplace that is coming from truth and innovation... or..........

    mark
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      This is god awful.

      You're totally shooting yourself in the foot by saying, "there is no cure for acne."

      That's simply not true.

      First of all...

      Acne doesn't just occur because of hormones.

      A great deal of acne (and most major skin issues) is a manifestation of a toxic gut.

      Bad bacteria builds up in the lining of the gut (large intestine, small intestine and colon specifically,) causing inflammation.

      Acne is just one of the results of this process. (Do your research if you want to understand why. Hint: Look up "acne and connective tissue," "acne caused by bacteria" and learn about heavy metal poisoning in the blood.)

      Here's a quick cure that works for people with bacteria born acne: Methylsulfonylmethane (a.k.a. MSM.) It diminishes inflammation and is a key component to rebuilding connective tissue (sulfur.) It'll make the skin glow. It's also great for a whole host of other skin diseases.

      My point here is:

      Not only is your statement untrue, but it's demonstrates a total lack of awareness about what causes acne for most people (teenagers and adults,) while also positioning yourself in a way that will kill your conversions.

      Start over.

      And make sure you're contributing something to the marketplace that is coming from truth and innovation... or..........

      mark
      By me saying there isn't a cure I mean there isn't a medicine or a shot you take for this that will cure you from ever getting it again in your life.

      Of course acne doesn't come from just hormones, I never said that.
      I know the causes of it in teenagers and adults. It can range from hormones to simply a clogged pore from not washing off makeup. There's various causes and Im aware of that as I have done enough research on it from suffering it myself.

      I think you misunderstood when I said there's no cure.
      I simply said that because customers don't understand there is no miracle product. Just like there isn't a miracle system to make you rich overnight in IM.

      I agree 100% on the toxic gut cause of it. All these things are part of the research i've conducted to implement on the free information page after signing up. Though this isn't everyone's reason for it.

      I guess it's not clear on the bullet points and such.
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    • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      This is god awful.

      You're totally shooting yourself in the foot by saying, "there is no cure for acne."

      That's simply not true.

      First of all...

      Acne doesn't just occur because of hormones.

      A great deal of acne (and most major skin issues) is a manifestation of a toxic gut.

      Bad bacteria builds up in the lining of the gut (large intestine, small intestine and colon specifically,) causing inflammation.

      Acne is just one of the results of this process. (Do your research if you want to understand why. Hint: Look up "acne and connective tissue," "acne caused by bacteria" and learn about heavy metal poisoning in the blood.)

      Here's a quick cure that works for people with bacteria born acne: Methylsulfonylmethane (a.k.a. MSM.) It diminishes inflammation and is a key component to rebuilding connective tissue (sulfur.) It'll make the skin glow. It's also great for a whole host of other skin diseases.

      My point here is:

      Not only is your statement untrue, but it's demonstrates a total lack of awareness about what causes acne for most people (teenagers and adults,) while also positioning yourself in a way that will kill your conversions.

      Start over.

      And make sure you're contributing something to the marketplace that is coming from truth and innovation... or..........

      mark
      Sorry dude, but you're wrong. There is no cure.

      My best friend is a dermatologist and I've had acne my entire life. It's easy to say this ^ if you've never had it and believe the hype out there about the cures. The truth is, they're all BS. None of them work. You can make money in this niche, selling false hope, but you should not be spreading this kind of misinformation my man...especially if you've never had chronic acne yourself, which you obviously have not or you'd know better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    Just to point you in the right direction for the squeeze page:

    "Millions of people needlessly suffer from acne. All because they don't know the REAL cause for their emotional anguish. Discover how you can become an acne survivor by learning why everything you try NEVER works!

    You'll also learn:

    ...Why taking antibiotics makes acne worse (and destroys your health too.)
    ...What part of your body is actually responsible for your torture.
    ...The completely natural cures that will set you free from feeling jailed by your complexion.
    ...And what easy diet steps you can take to start making a different RIGHT NOW!

    Stop living in embarrassment, shame and fear. You deserve the acne-free-life you dream about. Take the first step by submitting your email and revealing the information you NEED to wake up from your acne nightmare!"

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      Just to point you in the right direction for the squeeze page:

      "Millions of people needlessly suffer from acne. All because they don't know the REAL cause for their emotional anguish. Discover how you can become an acne survivor by learning why everything you try NEVER works!

      You'll also learn:

      ...Why taking antibiotics makes acne worse (and destroys your health too.)
      ...What part of your body is actually responsible for your torture.
      ...The completely natural cures that will set you free from feeling jailed by your complexion.
      ...And what easy diet steps you can take to start making a different RIGHT NOW!

      Stop living in embarrassment, shame and fear. You deserve the acne-free-life you dream about. Take the first step by submitting your email and revealing the information you NEED to wake up from your acne nightmare!"

      Mark
      This is great! Thanks!
      I'll use your guidance to write a better page.

      Back to the drawing board.
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    The video is the most important part.. but you ask us if we would optin w/out it? :confused:

    That makes me feel like giving my opinion now is pointless. Because once the video is in you're just going to ask us again ("you need to put yourself in the head of the prospect" lol). :p

    So my opinion now is I don't know what I would do because it doesn't matter.
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      The video is the most important part.. but you ask us if we would optin w/out it? :confused:

      That makes me feel like giving my opinion now is pointless. Because once the video is in you're just going to ask us again ("you need to put yourself in the head of the prospect" lol). :p

      So my opinion now is I don't know what I would do because it doesn't matter.

      I'm asking if by reading what is on the page and after viewing the video, is my page effective enough to make you opt in?
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  • Profile picture of the author BizManRobert
    Originally Posted by nick111 View Post

    Hey everyone, so I put together this quick page to get traffic to my list for my main skincare niche website. I'm specifically targeting acne sufferers on this squeeze page.

    The video on the page is a cheesy animated video i made in less than 2 minutes to get an idea of how a video would look on there.

    I plan on making a more extensive 3 minute voiceover video explaining what would the benefits be of subscribing.

    Aside from the video, what else could be improved? Thanks!

    http://acnesolutions.tk

    Also before I forget, is the fact that it is a .tk domain bad? I'm just using it to provide the free information and to get users to opt in.

    Hi Nick

    Firstly the copy needs a bit of improving...

    Here's an obvious mistake: "And foods your can implement into your diet to start seeing a difference TODAY!"

    The video does NOT load for me I'm using firefox, I also tried Google Chrome...
    (I'll try again later)

    Personally I would like to see the layout all in the middle, including the 'sign up' form.

    Just my 2cents worth...

    Good luck....
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by BizManRobert View Post

      Hi Nick

      Firstly the copy needs a bit of improving...

      Here's an obvious mistake: "And foods your can implement into your diet to start seeing a difference TODAY!"

      The video does NOT load for me I'm using firefox, I also tried Google Chrome...
      (I'll try again later)

      Personally I would like to see the layout all in the middle, including the 'sign up' form.

      Just my 2cents worth...

      Good luck....
      Aah I didn't catch that. Happens when typing at 12 in the morning on no sleep. I dont know about the video. It seems to be working for me on all my browsers.

      Thanks for the help i really appreciate it!
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  • Profile picture of the author Crazzykylex
    Since everybody has already answered your first question, I'm going to respond to the second:
    .tk domain is unprofessional and since it is available for free, the readers won't find you reliable as everybody can pick up a free domain and start blah blah blah. Further your domain should be easy for convenience. Try going for .com if not then .net at least. And I guess the domain "acnesolutions.com" or "acnesolutions.net" won't be available since it is so common. If you are having trouble finding a domain name, just don't hesitate to send me a query. All The Best!
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    • Profile picture of the author nick111
      Originally Posted by Crazzykylex View Post

      Since everybody has already answered your first question, I'm going to respond to the second:
      .tk domain is unprofessional and since it is available for free, the readers won't find you reliable as everybody can pick up a free domain and start blah blah blah. Further your domain should be easy for convenience. Try going for .com if not then .net at least. And I guess the domain "acnesolutions.com" or "acnesolutions.net" won't be available since it is so common. If you are having trouble finding a domain name, just don't hesitate to send me a query. All The Best!
      Hmm i didn't really think it could affect my reliability. You have a good point.
      Thanks for the help!
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  • Profile picture of the author Abo Yossi
    I think you should improve it to get more conversions...

    if you know Brendon Burchard, check his sites and learn from his squeeze page, he is amazing guy...
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  • Profile picture of the author justinkemp99
    You missed the real concept behind squeeze page. The squeeze page must help the users or rather visitors to take an immediate action like entering their email id's. It is the marketers chance to generate a lead. A not so informative video or misguiding video must not help your purpose.
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    • Profile picture of the author Keyword Candy
      I would bring more attention to you biggest benefit.
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  • Profile picture of the author JackCronfield
    I only get Zen Cart when I try to view your squeeze page
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  • Profile picture of the author Astounding Writing Coach
    Where can I see the video? I only get Zen Cart when I view your squeeze page. But, when I click on the product and read the copy, in my opinion, there's very little engaging content here.

    Perfect Neck Cream ( 2 oz. )
    A hydrating, firming cream that contains advanced anti-aging ingredients including 3LAB's bio-engineered growth hormone to help fight the signs of aging. It also contains effective skin contouring and slimming ingredients help to reduce the appearance of neck fat and "double chin" while potent protectors help to even out skin tone and minimize the signs of past environmental damage. Feels light and luxurious on the skin; does not leave a sticky feeling on the neck.

    This is too bland and feature-based copy. Need to paint the picture of the desired effects of USING the stuff...like this for a woman...

    A beautiful woman can appear to age more gracefully with Perfect Neck Cream. Feel and look more attractive. Enjoy the skin contouring and slimming effects found in this delicious answer to reducing neck fat and a double chin. Potent protectors help to even out skin tone and minimize signs of past environmental damage. Apply this light and luxurious mixture that leaves no sticky feeling. Want a more kissable neck? Get Perfect Neck Cream today and more kisses tonight.

    And, for a guy, you'd say something like...

    Skin feel like an alligator due to being a rugged outdoorsman? How you gonna neck with your sweetie pie if your skin looks all dried out, wrinkled and unappealing? Apply Perfect Neck Cream to help fight the signs of aging and weathering that might turn off the gals. Get Perfect Neck Cream today and enjoy a better appearance tomorrow that girls go gaga over.

    See the difference? Help them imagine the desired benefits of using the cream rather than telling them the features of how it's made. Beauty and vanity sell in either sex. Just have to test the copy to see what works best.

    Susan
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  • Profile picture of the author AnthonyBand
    I nee no video and no optin...
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  • Profile picture of the author AvanzaSeo
    The .tk makes a redirection to your page so the seo is difficult, you can't see any .tk domain in the firs google page.

    A .com or .net is available just for 8$.

    The .co.cc domains used to be also free and don't redirect to your site, you can change the dns CO.CC - Free Domain name registration + Free DNS service.
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